Just Me,

Insights From

a Reluctant Medium

by

Justin Pearce

AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.

500 Avebury Boulevard

Central Milton Keynes, MK9 2BE

www.authorhouse.co.uk

Phone: 08001974150

© 2008 Justin Pearce. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 3/17/2008

ISBN: 978-1-4343-7938-2 (sc)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Th

is book is printed on acid-free paper.

INTRODUCTION

MY NAME IS Justin and I am a psychic medium.

Th

is means that I have the ability to connect

people with the spirits of those that have passed away

before us.

I believe you have chosen this book for a reason.

Please keep an open mind while you discover what

this book has to off er you.

Th

is book has been split into four separate parts.

It starts with my life. It follows with a section that

covers ways of accessing your own ability. Th

en there

are extracts from my work as a medium. It fi nishes

with various questions and answers.

It is designed to be a kind of manual for anyone

that may have feelings or abilities they are unsure

about and questions they just don’t know where to

go with.

v

Jus t in P e a rce

Th

is is by no means my life story, but what I have

written about myself, will hopefully; give you an insight

into the things that go on in the world of an ordinary

man, with an ability that has helped many. You may

able to identify with what I have been through in your

own life, trying to come to terms living everyday with

the world of spirit. It maybe of interest to anyone that

has even the mildest curiosity in what a medium does

and how the process of spirit connection works. More

importantly, it will show that anyone can learn to live

with the world of spirit, everyday.

My life has certainly been a strange one. It’s been

full of ups and downs with denials about what I have

and what I am capable of doing.

Th

is is my guide for you. It has been co-written

by my best friend Mark. If it wasn’t for him, this book

would be a rambling mess with no style of fi nesse

whatsoever. Harder to read than War and Peace in

Icelandic!

I trust that whatever you fi nd will be useful and at

the very least - interesting.

Th

ank you.

Justin

JANUARY 2008

vi

Contents

INTRODUCTION ................................................... v

SECTION ONE: My Life

JUST A DISTANT HUM .......................................... 3

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT. .................. 6

END OF THE BEGINNING

.................................... 10

SMALL ACORNS AND MIGHTY OAKS .................... 18

SPANISH LESSONS

............................................ 31

HOUSE OF CARDS

............................................. 41

EGO THAT WAY OR EGO THE OTHER

................... 46

SIT TING ON A GOLD MINE ................................. 49

A BRAVE NEW WORLD ...................................... 66

THE VALUE OF WEDGEWOOD ............................. 77

FROM RELUCTANCE TO ACCEPTANCE

.................. 87

I HAVE BEEN HIRED! ......................................... 99

SECTION TWO: Th

e Manual

FULL CYCLE ................................................... 103

MEDITATION OR PLAYSTATION ......................... 111

COINCIDENCE? ............................................... 116

SEPARATING THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF ....... 122

SOMETIMES EVEN WE CANT GET THROUGH ....... 128

A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. .................. 133

MEETING MEDIUMS ......................................... 137

GOOD PSYCHIC, BAD PSYCHIC ......................... 141

SECTION THREE: Connections

TAXI TALES ONE ............................................. 151

MAPLE SYRUP ................................................ 155

AMERICAN ENGLISH ....................................... 160

TAXI TALES TWO ............................................ 166

CAROLINES HOUSE ......................................... 169

TAXI TALES THREE .......................................... 175

THE CATS WHISKERS ...................................... 179

TAXI TALES FOUR ............................................ 182

COLIN ........................................................... 185

SECTION FOUR Questions and Answers

From A to B ................................................... 224

S E C T I O N O N E :

My Life

Chapter One

JUST A DISTANT HUM

Narberth, West Wales

September 1970

81 HOURS.

Th

at’s how long my mum was in labour for.

My parents were both living with my Grandmother

at the time. Nerves were a little frail - they all found

it very diffi

cult to live together. Both were from small

close-knit towns and had met, fell in love and got

married after a year or so. My mum was only 19 years

old when she went into labour .My dad - a chef in the

Royal Navy - was due to be a father at the tender age

of 21. He paced up and down the ward. He was full of

nerves. Not just in the way that a husband would be in

this situation, but deeper concerns were there too.

My dad always found that whenever a good thing

in his life came along it was usually followed by

3

Jus t in P e a rce

something terrible. As it turned out, his fears were

warranted - today was to be no exception to the rule.

Still pacing and wondering when I was going to

make my grand entrance. He started to get more and

more annoyed with the lack of information. He was

shouting at the doctors but no-one was telling him

anything. He wanted to know why it was taking so

long and, quite understandably, why my mum had

been left in the geriatric ward and not on the maternity

ward where she should be.

A few hours later my Uncle Richard turned up. A

well known, well respected man of quite a forbidding

size and attitude. He asked the same questions as my

dad, only a lot louder and to the right people. Th

ey

eventually started to get the information they sought,

although my father’s nerves were still in tatters as he

continued to pace up and down the corridor.

An hour or so later at 8.45am I was dragged by

forceps kicking and screaming into the open air. Th

e

Doctors checked me over and asked the Nurse to sort

out the necessary. Th

e Nurse went about her business

as normal but stopped in her tracks, turning to the

Doctor.

Th

ere was another baby.

4

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

ey hadn’t realized at all that my mum was

having twins. Ultrasound was something that was not

really available at that time and it was easy to miss

something of such importance. After a lot of shouting

and running around they delivered my brother Jason

into the world.

He had died.

Th

ey buried him a few days later in a small

white coffi

n in the Tabernacle Church in Narberth,

Pembrokeshire. In a grave with no markings. I

meanwhile, slept in an incubator with a small teddy

bear that was far bigger than me. Th

ey said to my

parents that Jason had died due to lack of oxygen.

It’s only now that I realize that I was given the

chance of life for a reason when we both came into the

world. I was meant to stay here and work while Jason

stayed on the other side in the world of spirit to guide

me through what has become a rollercoaster of a life.

I still don’t fully understand my connection to a

world that is both feared and denied. I know I am

here to help people get an understanding of what

happens when they lose someone close and a stronger

understanding of their own spirituality.

5

Chapter Two

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT.

Portsmouth,

November 1980

THE CORNER OF my bedroom was where the spooky

ghosts lived was very dark at night.

Of course, they all existed in the mind of a 10 year

old boy, but to me they were real. I could almost hear

them whispering in the dark, preparing to pounce and

scare the crap out of me as all ghosts did.

Luckily enough I had a secret weapon. Th

e best

ghost repellent money could buy and better than any

thermo-nuclear device, a small bedside light.

If I kept that switched on it would keep them at

bay – I knew this to be true. Th

e problem was I still

knew they were there and I wasn’t about to fall asleep

so they could get me.

So, each night after mum and dad were convinced

I had gone to bed, the bedside light would come on,

6

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

my bulky headphones would come out and I would

listen to the radio, I was hoping it wasn’t going to

be heard by my parents, who would’ve undoubtedly

removed my stereo, which for a ten year old boy would

be worse than any ghostly ambush.

Eventually, with the bedside light and the radio

repelling the ghosts, I had begun to relax a little, lost

in the happy melodies swirling in my ears.

Th

en the moment came that changed everything

for me.

At fi rst I caught a glimpse out of the corner of

a sleepy eye and then lazily I focused on the new

addition to my room.

Someone was standing at the end of the bed.

I thought maybe I was dreaming but it seemed

more likely to be one of my dad’s old navy friends

judging from the blue military uniform he wore.

He was just looking at me,

Smiling pleasantly.

I was by now wide awake and removed my

headphones and turned off my radio, scared that I

had been caught by my dad’s friend. He would surely

tell my parents how naughty I was.

7

Jus t in P e a rce

Strangely enough, I wasn’t really scared of this

man that I had never seen before. I was, of course,

taught never ever to talk to strangers. But this was

somehow diff erent. It was in my room and whatever I

felt was defi nitely not hostile intention – not like the

spooky ghosts plotting in the corner.

I don’t remember how late it was but the rest of the

house was quiet. Not even the faint sounds of the TV

downstairs or my parents talking.

Before I could say anything he introduced

himself.

“Hello, I’m James, James Saunders…” He said in

calming, agreeable tones.

“…You must be Justin?”

I nodded then asked politely what he wanted,

assuming all the while he was there to tell me off for

staying up.

“I have come to see you Justin” He continued.

“I am here to tell you something, you are here to

help”

I had a million questions.

What?

Help with what?

Are you going to tell my dad I’m up?

8

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Yet before I could ask, he was gone.

Just like that.

I blinked and he had vanished.

Now, I would like to say that as the psychic medium

I am now, I was calm, collected and understood exactly

what had happened.

As it turned out, I screamed like a big girl and ran

into my mum and dads room rambling incoherently

about the navy ghost man in my room. Th

ey had

obviously had a lot of experience with my midnight

ranting, and, as usual, took me back to my room to

show me that there were no ghosts in my room, the

walls weren’t wobbling and the monsters weren’t

lurking under the bed.

I don’t think I slept at all that night. For that

matter, I don’t think I slept for a quite a few nights

after that.

Little did I realise that this was the fi rst of many

encounters with spirit, which would lead to a life of

many ups and downs and inner questions about what

I do. It was the start of a new path that would lead to

meeting some of the most amazing people and more

importantly – being of help to others in ways I could

never have dreamed...

I just didn’t know it yet.

9

Chapter Th

ree

END OF THE BEGINNING

FROM THE AGE of ten, after my late night meeting

with James Saunders, things had changed. I ended

up a few years later with my parents in a military

memorabilia shop in the centre of Portsmouth. It was

there that I stumbled upon the uniform that my late

night guest had been wearing when I saw him…. I

discovered it was a Royal Air Force uniform and not

from the Royal Navy as I had assumed.

At around 13 years old I found a thirst for

knowledge had been created and I wanted to know

more about what had happened.

I checked with the library for any information and

they were extremely helpful. I managed to discover

that James Saunders had indeed been an RAF pilot

and had been shot down during the later years of

World War 2. He was 27

Th

at was all I needed.

10

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Now I was really cooking with gas.

I had developed a fascination with ghost stories

and the supernatural in general. My mum told me

all about my Grandmother (Her Mother) being a

psychic. I just thought it was that she could tell the

future. At that age I wasn’t really aware of what the

metaphysical and supernatural world had to off er. Up

until a few years before I didn’t know it was possible to

talk to the dead. Ghosts were ghosts. Monsters were

monsters. Some people could tell the future. Th

at was

about all I knew until then.

It also transpired that my father’s dad was also

very gifted within the world of spirit.

So, I was hooked. My Mother would come home

from a bookshop in town with a spooky storybook

almost every week. At school all my projects were

based around haunted houses, psychics, graveyards,

vampires and werewolves. - I also knew that the area

we lived in was a hotspot for haunting. It was (and still

is) called Gatcombe Park. Th

e site, before it became a

housing estate, used to be an Army barracks. To this

very day is still referred to by many as Hilsea Barracks.

A high brick wall still surrounds the housing estate

that would have been the perimeter around the Army

camp. I decided to do some research for a piece of work

I was doing with a friend at school on ghost stories

from the local area. We went down to the Library

11

Jus t in P e a rce

again (real regulars by now), and got into the records

offi

ce. Th

e lady behind the counter checked us out and

made sure that we weren’t going to touch anything

that we shouldn’t. After a thorough interrogation, but,

alas no strip search, she gave us some powdered gloves

and allowed us to view plans and maps of the area –

some from around 1600 a.d. (which was pretty much

a castle, two huts, three wenches and two pigs)!. It

turned out that Gatcombe House, which was centered

in the barracks and had always given me the creeps,

was an old memorial hospital. I was also told that there

was a graveyard that spread out over the whole estate

before the barracks was built. So I decided to ask

the local people whether or not they had experienced

anything like a haunting.

Did they have wobbly walls or ghosts in one corner

of the room?

It turned out that a house down the street had been

haunted for a long time and its current occupants had

decided to get their house exorcised by a priest. Th

ings

were apparently fl ying off the walls at them, laughter

was heard from empty bedrooms and belongings were

moved. Th

e owners would try experiments when it

fi rst started occurring, they would put something, like

an item of jewelry, on the fl oor and walk out of the

room. When they came back into the room and the

jewelery would be moved and they couldn’t fi nd it, no

12

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

matter how hard they looked. It would turn up a few

houses away in a friend’s laundry basket.

Go fi gure!

Th

ings were also happening in our house.

My mum was lying in the garden lapping up the

sun one summer, eyes closed, relaxing in the heat,

when she suddenly felt the whole weight of a person

lie on top of her. She thought it was my dad messing

around, opened her eyes with a start, but there was no

one there despite the pressing sensation. She shouted

out as loud as she could and whatever was there

suddenly ceased.

It didn’t end there. One day my dad was fi tting

some shelves in my sister’s room when my mum

called him. He was about to leave when suddenly the

bedroom door slammed shut in his face. Th

ere was

no wind in the bedroom and also there were thick pile

carpets in the room. You had to use some considerable

force to close the door any other time.

Th

is all went on for quite some time.

Mum had tried using Ouija boards in the house

to try and contact whoever was making the noises at

night and bothering us. She had at fi rst found them

fascinating and amazing. But after a while it spooked

13

Jus t in P e a rce

her a little. Some of the information she was receiving

were of a threatening type so she stopped using them.

I still don’t agree with the use of these boards in any

circumstance, as they are very dangerous. Th

ese are an

open door to the other side, for negative energies that

may, (for whatever reason), want to cause trouble. It’s

like leaving your front door open during the day and

hoping to get your house cleaned by whoever comes

in. More than likely you will be cleaned out!

As far as my own personal experiences were

concerned, after the James Saunders incident, very

little happened – kind of. I used to get weird feelings

whenever I would come into contact with certain

people. It was like a vibe. I would know things about

them – little things…. like small details that I had no

way of knowing…. A person’s name or what they did

for a living. Sometimes I would have an idea where they

lived or who they were related to. Just minor detail but

quite accurate more often than not. I was still far too

sensitive all the time. Very touchy and emotional. I

knew my period hadn’t started. For one thing I was

male. And I was far too young to be going through

the male menopause! Th

ings would drive me nuts. If

someone was horrible to me it would play on my mind

for days. Arguments would have me wrestling with

self-doubt and loathing for even longer. I hoped it was

just a part of growing up.

14

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Strangely, after a few years of visitations, ghostly

sightings and noises, things just seemed to go away of

their own accord – personally and around me. I don’t

know what happened, but over a period of time the

activities just sort of fi ltered out. Maybe I just didn’t

notice so much - my rebellious years took over and my

interests were more of loud music, motorbikes, action

fi lms and girls.

Especially girls!

When I look back, it’s a shame really. After my

initial visit from Mr. Saunders, I wasn’t scared or

nervous of such encounters and I had literally been

de-sensitized by the daily occurrences.

I didn’t even need my bedside light any more.

So, I was becoming to all intents and purposes, a

“normal” young tearaway. I went out with my friends,

smoked cigarettes, did rude things with girls, drank

beer and caused far too much trouble as all bad guys

do.

Th

e only other thing that happened was when I

was about 18.

I had a friend called Mark who lived on the estate.

Mark Dryden.

15

Jus t in P e a rce

For a longtime we were inseparable. We would

hangout together all summer. Going to Hilsea Lido

swimming pool and meeting with girls. We would take

our ghetto blaster tape recorder with us and listen to

the Human League, Depeche Mode, and Howard

Jones - Whoever was popular at the time. Mark was a

year older than me but because of my birthday being

in September he was two school years ahead of me.

We would meet up outside our school, City of

Portsmouth Boys after 3 o’clock, and run over to chat

with the girls at Mayfi eld School – our arch enemies

(the boys that is!). Our summers were spent riding our

bikes to Horndean, just outside Portsmouth, to see

Debbie and Ivy, a couple of lovely girls we were very

close to. Debbie had a house out in the country and

we would spend summers lying in the nearby fi elds,

talking and having fun.

Th

ey were great days and I have some amazing

memories of that time. A few years later, Mark had

moved to a town called Fareham and had a new circle

of friends. We were both working at that time but still

kept in contact every now and again.

Mark was cycling to work on 1st April 1989. He

was hit by a drunk driver and killed. He was just 20

years old.

16

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

I hadn’t felt right all that night or day. It was my

mum’s birthday but I still felt something was wrong.

Something I couldn’t explain. I went out and bought

a paper. Before I picked it up, I saw the headline. It

said that a lot of people had been killed on the roads

that night. Th

e feeling swept over me that someone I

knew would be amongst the names.

Sure enough it was Mark.

I double checked it and checked again.

Our mutual friend, Bob, came over to the house

and confi rmed it. We just couldn’t believe it had

happened.

Mark had gone. And somehow I had known.

Why was my friend gone?

Would I ever see him again?

Nothing else remotely spiritual would occur for

another few years.

17

Chapter Four

SMALL ACORNS AND MIGHTY OAKS

I MET MY fi rst wife, Sarah, through a blind date.

A work colleague introduced us after I had told

him that I was reluctantly very single and, well….kind

of looking. His partner at the time had a friend in

the same boat. Inevitably, and rather sneakily, they

decided to set us up on a date.

I liked her immediately.

We had a lot in common and I really felt a strong

attraction. It wasn’t very long before we were smitten.

So much so, we bought a house together almost a year

later.

During one deep conversation about life, the

universe and everything, Sarah informed me that–

and I suppose in the great scheme of things this comes

as no surprise - she was a psychic medium.

18

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

“A what?” I said with some bewilderment.

Her response didn’t help one iota.

“I can talk with dead people”

Now, at 23 years old, I had had very little to do

with my psychic past. Th

e metaphysical thread that

ran through my family was not as important as paying

the bills, buying records and going for a beer with my

friends. In fact, very little “phenomena” had happened

in 10 years. Even the visit from James Saunders was a

distant memory.

Damn! I was a Shipping Agent. I didn’t go in for

that mumbo jumbo voodoo stuff and told her so.

During one conversation she had said that I was

about as psychic as a wet fl annel. A fair comment at

the time.

But how wrong she was!

I believe I was meant to be with her for many

reasons. Th

e psychic theme seemed to run through

her family just as much as mine. - . I was told that

my Grandmother on my mum’s side had the gift. She

could tell when people were pregnant and what sex it

was going to be.

19

Jus t in P e a rce

As a child, walking with her mother along

Narberth high street on the way to the local butcher

shop, she suddenly stopped her mother and said they

had to wait for the funeral procession to go by before

they could move on again. My great grandmother

asked her whose funeral was going by because she

knew of no one who had passed in their very small,

close knit community.

My Grandmother said it was the man who lived

two doors away from them. Of course there wasn’t

a funeral procession and my great grandmother got

annoyed at the delay to her very busy day. A few days

later the man two doors away passed away and the

funeral took place and they stood exactly where my

Nan had said to stop and they watched the funeral

pass.

Th

ings were indeed working out and my life

seemed to have taken a turn for the better at long last.

It was in 1992, on a wonderful holiday, that Sarah

fell pregnant. We were so happy with the news and,

with spring in the air everything seemed right with

the world.

One Sunday afternoon about 3 months into the

pregnancy, we were out on a warm afternoon picking

strawberries when Sarah told me she was feeling pain

20

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

in her stomach. When we got home she had started to

bleed and we rushed off to the hospital.

Th

e miscarriage hit us both hard. Especially

Sarah.

It would be a few months later before things

started to return to any kind of normality. Life would

carry on chugging like a tired steam train for some

time before we fi nally left the tracks of the past behind

as best we could.

One afternoon Sarah decided that we should go

to a psychic fayre.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect.

It made me think of the circus.

We ended up going with my mum to this “fayre”

at a Hotel on the outskirts of Portsmouth. Th

ere

were lots of stalls with various advertising banners

and literature, readings, demonstrations and all kinds

of spiritual psychic stuff , most of which I had never

heard of.

Some Psychics were charging around £25 for a

personal reading!

Sarah couldn’t resist and I rolled my eyes, standing

outside to have another smoke and contemplate my

situation and how I could get out of it. I didn’t know

how I felt about these people.

21

Jus t in P e a rce

Con men?

Wackos?

It all felt far too weird and I felt like a square peg

in a round hole. Finishing up my cigarette, I decided to

grit my teeth and smile politely while my wife enjoyed

the rest of the day.

Later that afternoon. It was announced that a

popular medium was about to do a demonstration.

Oh great.

At fi rst, I stared at my shoes, thinking they could

do with a polish, but somehow as the demonstration

went on I became more and more fascinated. Before

long we both sat enthralled, listening intently as she

went to several people in the audience. Th

ey seemed

amazed at how much information was coming through

for them and how accurate it was.

Th

en, remarkably, she came to us!

She asked me a question.

Uh?

She asked if I knew someone who had passed

away.

Th

ey were apparently German.

22

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

e name started with an E.

I was rooted to my seat.

I was blown away.

I confi rmed this as my grandfather on my mother’s

side. He was called Ernest, he was a German and he

had passed away some years before.

I didn’t understand how she could have this

information or what it meant.

As if this wasn’t enough to have my head spinning,

she then also went on to explain that I had lost a close

friend in an accident. His name began with an M. He

was a tall, blonde and very handsome man and that

we were both into a lot of new music at the time of

his passing.

I couldn’t believe it. Th

at was my friend Mark.

I just sat there with my mouth open, not knowing

how to react.

Was she for real?

How did she know so much stuff ?

She then said something that shocked and terrifi ed

me to the bone. I have never forgotten that moment.

It’s one of those life changing events that defi ne who

you are.

She said that I have been chosen to do spirits work

and that one day my life would change. I would be

standing up in front of lots of people doing what she

was doing right now.

23

Jus t in P e a rce

She also said that I will one day change the way that

the establishment looks at spiritual connections.

Ok then……

I was just absolutely devastated, despite my

skepticism. Sarah laughed and whispered that she

must’ve got me mixed up with someone “psychic”

nearby.

I sat there like a rabbit caught in the headlights

of an oncoming truck at night, transfi xed by the

lights. Too frightened to move and too confused to

understand.

Th

e medium turned to Sarah. She said that she

had a baby in spirit that belonged to us and that he was

very happy and was going to grow up on the other side.

Sarah looked at her for a moment and understandably,

burst into tears.

It was very emotional for both of us and the

medium dealt with it very well. She said that she was

aware of a little girl with blonde hair sitting in between

us.

Wishing us all the best, she fi nished her reading,

making me promise that when spirit came through in

a few years that I wouldn’t ignore it.

We left afterwards feeling very drained.

I didn’t know what to think.

24

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

About four years later we went to another psychic

fare and the same medium was there. We had taken

our daughter... She was sitting between us and had

the most beautiful blonde hair which the medium

remembered.

Ok, so, she was right about that.

But I still didn’t want to believe that she was

right about the other future where I was to become

a medium.

I put the whole episode behind me and carried on

with my life, working at the Continental Ferry Port,

pushing pieces of paper around and doing as little as

humanly possible. Money was short as always so I

also started a part-time job delivering pizzas. Pretty

soon this led to an opportunity to drive taxis in the

evenings that I wasn’t working elsewhere. I became

very tired, very quickly.

I was working about 90 hours a week.

After all, I now had a wife and two young children

to take care of.

One evening my mum called and told us that there

was a very renowned psychic medium showing at the

King’s Th

eatre in the centre of town. She had some

spare tickets and thought we’d like to go with her.

Oh ok, I guess so, gets me out of the house and I could

do with a night off .

25

Jus t in P e a rce

I can remember feeling really strange when I went

into the theatre. It was a feeling that I have had so often

since –a huge feeling of both excitement and pain. We

sat down in our designated seats and, for a while, I just

watched everyone around the theatre. I could almost

see the diff erent personalities out there.

Some people were almost hiding. Others were

laughing and joking of things to come, most were just

hoping and praying that the medium would eventually

come to them.

Th

e Psychic eventually came onto the stage to a

round of applause.

I didn’t feel right.

I could somehow see someone just behind him.

At fi rst it was more that I could sense the spirit of a

young girl. She was barely visible next to the psychic,

but it was clearly a young girl. He began to ask if

anyone in the audience knew of a young girl that had

passed away in a house fi re. I couldn’t believe what I

was hearing. It was such a shock that I could see and

feel this child he was talking about.

All of a sudden lots of memories started fl ying

into my mind of when I was younger. Seeing James

Saunders in my room, the hauntings, the family thread

and the previous medium’s premonition that made my

wife laugh so much at the psychic fayre.

26

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

I wasn’t sure at the time what set me off , whether

it was the overwhelming energy in the room, but I just

started to cry.

I couldn’t stop.

My mum asked if everything was alright, but I

waited until the interval and left the theatre. I couldn’t

handle it. All I could feel was the overwhelming pain

of “loss”

Th

ings got back to normal after a few days and I

guess I ignored (again) what had happened. My wife

had started to go back to her classes, practicing her

psychic medium stuff and doing some tarot readings.

I still had mixed feelings, but after the last two events

my mind was slowly trying to come to terms with

what I felt inside. It seemed to keep coming back to

me. Th

ere were things happening that I defi nitely

couldn’t explain.

Two years later I sat in my taxi and had just about

had enough of the pressures of life and work and not

ever having any money. My marriage was suff ering and

I wasn’t spending anytime at home. All I did was work

24-7 to pay the bills.

I sat on the Taxi Rank outside a large nightclub at

the seafront. I was at the back of a huge queue of cabs

waiting in line.

27

Jus t in P e a rce

Suddenly I felt a chill. Strange, it was summertime

and still very warm. But this chill wasn’t the usual

kind you get. It went all the way down my left arm. I

shut off the music and I’m not sure what I was doing

but I asked if anyone was there.

I got a reply.

It was Mark Dryden, my friend who had died so

many years before.

He simply said he was with me.

I couldn’t believe it. Fear and excitement gripped

me at the same time.

I could only hear my own voice, but I knew it was

him. Images fl ashed in my head of him from the past

and of him sitting right next to me in the cab.

Th

is was just too freaky.

I faltered, so many thoughts and questions, I asked

him, in a trembling voice, if he was ok.

He was, but explained that he had come to see me

for a reason. Th

e spirits were worried about me and

that I should be careful not to do anything silly.

Like what?

He said that my life would turn out just fi ne and

that I was to take what was going to happen in the

next few years on the chin as it was all part of my

learning process.

I explained out loud that I was suff ering and so

tired all the time.

28

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

What happened next was one of the most

important moments of my life. He showed me where

he was in the spirit world.

It was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen

or felt. He showed me the countryside I used to play

in on our holidays in Wales. He showed me images of

me and him with lots of people I didn’t recognise, but

somehow felt I knew. We were lying in a fi eld with the

warm sun washing over our faces whilst we talked and

laughed.

I felt so relaxed at that point. He played music I

have never heard before and showed me a diff erent

scene.

It was night time. Th

ere was a full moon and we

were beside a lake. Th

ere were diff erent sized boats

moored to a long jetty with a light wind gently clinking

the masts and sails. It was such an amazing place and

my relaxation turned to contentment.

Th

e feelings that I was having, the sensations that

made me feel so relaxed were, as Mark explained, how

it feels to be Spirit.

I can only describe it as that same feeling you get

when you fi rst kiss a partner that you really love, and

also kind of like the feeling you get when with your

closest friends and they make you laugh so much you

think you might be sick!

I will never forget that moment. Once it had

passed I was in a new state of mind just bubbling to

29

Jus t in P e a rce

the surface. It was a new goal I was working towards

as I said farewell to my friend and thanked him for the

wonders he’d shown me.

Th

at goal was the ultimate we can aspire to in life

which I hadn’t realised until that very moment.

Quite simply, it was a place in Heaven.

30

Chapter Five

SPANISH LESSONS

Jan 2000

MY WIFE AND I were having problems with our

marriage. No blame is directed here, we just weren’t

getting on and we were drifting further and further

apart. I had decided to go with her to see a marriage

guidance shrink - something that I was never going to

be comfortable with, but for the sake of the relationship

it was worth it. Th

e shrink had been recommended by

a family friend and we both went together for the fi rst

few times. It was all very enlightening and helpful in

its own way, but it wasn’t bringing us closer together

by any stretch of the imagination. We then decided

on something a bit more radical and go to the shrink

separately. It was more of a one-on-one personal

therapy. For me, at such a critical time, it became

more of a voyage of self-discovery than relationship

mending.

31

Jus t in P e a rce

I used the time to tell her all the things I had been

feeling and, more importantly, question the things that

went on in my head, the psychic phenomena that was

occurring around me and the “supernatural” events

that had sprung up over the last few weeks. I felt like

my head may explode any moment.

What did all this mean?

What was I to do?

How should I feel?

She listened to me for about 3 months and then

out of nowhere produced a business card with the

details of some place called “Th

e Holistic Centre” in

Portsmouth. It was a place for holistic and psychic

therapy, specialising in teaching people with psychic

or potential mediumship skills.

I thought about it long and hard, and put the card

away. It was all getting a bit too scary for me.

My wife, children and I decided to take advantage

of an off er that was going around work. You could fl y

standby with a certain airline, anywhere in the world

for £100 each including taxes. I thought it would be

wrong to miss an opportunity like this, plus I felt an

amazing urge to head to California again. We decided

to go and booked it.

32

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Of course, we all had a nice time. Funnily enough,

I still thought that this was a make or break holiday

for our marriage. It seemed to be a way of getting back

to basics with my wife and time for a little bonding.

During the holiday we stayed at Lake Tahoe,

Nevada.

One restless night, about three am, whilst everyone

was fast asleep, I took a blanket from the closet and

went off in our hire car. I wasn’t sure what I was going

to do or where I was going, but I found myself under

a blanket by the shore for a good fi ve hours watching

the sun come up and thinking about all I had been

through in these recent years. I had lots of decisions

to make regarding the direction my life had to head in.

I needed to make some dramatic changes. I’d no idea

where this was going or what I was to do. I rummaged

in my rucksack for a can of drink.

In the bottom of the sack was the card that I had

been given by the therapist.

Did I put that in there?

I was sure that I had left it on my desk at home.

If this was a sign then it was punching me square

on the chin.

I had no other choice as far as I was concerned and

when we got back from holiday I immediately called

them up.

33

Jus t in P e a rce

I explained myself on the phone, feeling very

foolish. Th

ey were very helpful and said that they did

courses on a Th

ursday night for forty weeks. At the

time I was still doing shift work at the ferry port and

knew that I could only attend bi-weekly at best.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t accommodate, so I

went into work and, as I was a shift leader, decided

that I would let my other shift members go home on

a late shift early during the week and I, in turn, would

be able to go every Th

ursday early.

“What was I doing on a Th

ursday night?” they

asked.

“Well, I’m. Err…. well…. Ummmmmmmm,”

What should I say?

It came to me.

“Spanish lessons.”

Smooooooth!

It seemed like a reasonable excuse. Th

ey seemed

to accept it. It was, after all, an international trade

route we dealt with. It looked like I was a company

go-getter. Th

ey liked that.

So I set about getting there every Th

ursday. I

wasn’t sure what I expected to fi nd. Even being a

taxi driver part time. I still had never heard of this

34

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

place and certainly never took anyone there. I waited

outside after going to the pub for a drink. As I entered

I noticed that it was a converted pub.

With no drink! It was built over two fl oors and a

curtain separated a hall that was used as a spiritualist

church and we were to be sat on chairs in a circle for 2

hours. Th

at fi rst night there were around twenty two

of us. Most of us had come on our own, and there was

a cross section of people. Some old ladies, two young

men about 18, some middle aged married men and

women as well, and also a couple of tarot readers and

psychics that were there to brush up on their skills. I

met some of them during the time that we were being

seated. I sat between a nurse and a computer engineer.

Th

en in walked a man called Mark. He was quite tall

and very thin and had a camp way about him, but also

a very quiet demeanour. He opened up by telling us

what we were to expect over the next ten weeks. He

also added that most of the group would be whittled

down through no fault of our own over the next four

blocks of ten week courses, and that this experience

will change our lives forever. I did wonder what the

bloody hell he was going on about and whether I

should leg it there and then as this was getting a little

bit freaky for me already, and I had nearly a year of

this to go.

Oh how right Mark was on that fi rst day.

35

Jus t in P e a rce

Over the coming weeks we all became quite good

friends. A few people thought they were the dogs at

being psychic and healing people and it was there

that I learned so many lessons about people in this

fi eld of work. Some I couldn’t stand for being so up

themselves. A lady arrived on the second week called

Vicky. I hated her on sight. She pulled up outside in

a sports car and was dressed to the nines. I thought

she was a bit of a snob at fi rst. She has turned out to

be one of my best friends. Naturally funny and has

such an amazing personality. I warmed to her as the

weeks went by. Some of the stuff we had to do put us

in fi ts of laughter.

Th

e fi rst thing we had to do was to sit in the most

uncomfortable chairs you have ever felt in your life in

a circle with some terrible music wailing painfully in

the backround. A sort of whale song.

Without whales.

Or tune.

Mmmm.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. We were then taught

how to sit in a certain (uncomfortable) position. We

were then shown how we were to meditate. It went like

this: Breathe in, hold for three seconds, Breathe out.

Do that three times.

I was pretty sure I already knew how to breathe. I

had done it before.

36

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

en we had to think about 17 diff erent parts of

out body whilst breathing in and out. (Not even the

interesting ones!) We were to relax each individual

body part with each breathe - Blowing out any stress.

I think we spent more time worrying about whether

we were doing it right than actually getting round

to the point of relaxing. It was all a bit too weird,

too structured. We had to imagine a golden ball of

light in front of us and breathe in strands of light into

diff erent parts of our throat and chest, blowing out

diff erent coloured smoke.

I nearly left halfway through the fi rst week.

But I persevered. Over the coming weeks, our

tutors prophecy came true and we were whittled down

to just eight of us. To be fair, it was fun most of the

time and also quite productive. But some of it was

utter gibberish as far as I was concerned. I didn’t like

being told how to relax in such a regimented way and

were suppose to do these long and exhausting exercises

at home. I just didn’t have the time.

Or the energy.

…and I certainly didn’t want to buy any Whale

music!

I went every week however, doing what I had to

do and learnt a lot in the process. I might not have

enjoyed their methods, but it was helping in many

ways.

37

Jus t in P e a rce

I still kept all this from everyone at work. As far

as they were concerned I had six months of intensive

Spanish language lessons. Well, as you can imagine,

I got my just desserts when I was once asked to the

counter to use my newly acquired skill and speak with

Spanish lorry driver!!!

Of course, I couldn’t speak a word of it. Everyone

wanted to know why I couldn’t even hold a basic

conversation with the guy after all those lessons. I

made some lame excuse about regional dialects and

hoped for the best. It seemed to work, thankfully.

If only they had known!

A few months later something happened that

scared me. I didn’t know at the time that I was a few

days from leaving my wife and starting a chain of

events that would lead me to sitting here, in my new

home, with my new wife and writing this book.

I went to Sainsbury’s to buy something to cook

for dinner.

I left in the car, put Nirvana on the stereo and

turned it up really loud and went to the store. On

the way back I felt really strange. Th

ere was someone

with me. I had just completed twenty weeks at the

Holistic Centre and was coming along quite well. I

had already done my fi rst church meeting and it had

gone a lot better than I ever could have anticipated.

I realized that Mark, my friend who passed away in

38

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

the accident, was with me again, but I didn’t want to

talk to anyone from spirit. I was not in a right frame

of mind at the time to want to connect with upstairs. I

got home and opened the front door and my wife just

went mental and started backing away from the front

door shouting” Back off , you’re scaring me.” I asked

her what the bloody hell she was going on about and

she explained that a young man had followed me into

the house and was very agitated. He told her that I

was ignoring him and he needed to say something.

He then went on to explain to my wife to tell me that

everything was going to be ok and not to lose faith.

Get through the next few days and it will all work out

in the end. Th

at night I was lying in bed. I couldn’t

sleep. I looked over at the kid’s bedroom door when

suddenly it just started banging against the frame over

and over. It was practically coming off its hinges. It

scared me to death. I turned over to wake my wife,

but of course, she was already awake. She didn’t seem

perturbed by the occurrence. I asked her what it was

and she said quite calmly it was spirit again. I jumped

up and went into the kid’s room to fi nd out if they

were ok. To my relief they were both sound asleep.

Th

en it started again, the banging. My wife shouted at

whoever it was to stop the incessant noise. It did.

At that point, something clicked.

I practically ran out of the house, got into the car

and drove away. It seemed like my brain was splitting in

two, my life careering dangerously off the rails. I knew

39

Jus t in P e a rce

spirit was warning me of the imminent changes that

were taking place. Whatever choices I had, whatever

decisions I made would be with me for the rest of my

life. I had to do what I thought was right.

I drove on into the early hours, searching my soul

and making my choice. I knew I would pay a terrible

price and I would never be the same, but I knew my

destiny lay down a diff erent road. I won’t go into detail

about reasoning and how I felt, especially with regards

to my children and how it would aff ect them. Th

at is

something that I have to live with. And something I

hope they one day will understand.

Two days later I left my wife and started a new life

on my spiritual journey.

40

Chapter Six

HOUSE OF CARDS

TOWARDS THE END of my course at the Holistic

Centre. I knew I should get my name out there and

get some private readings under my belt.

It started very well. I was using Tarot a lot at the

time, fi nding it a helpful tool, especially for a beginner

like me. I began with family and friends, assuming

that it was a good place to start. For a while it was

extremely benefi cial. Although there were many things

to learn whilst using Tarot, it didn’t take me long to

pick up what each card meant and how it related to

the person receiving the information. I had a little

folder which was – to all intents and purposes – my

cheat sheet, which I could refer to if the information

on the cards gave me pause for thought or threw me

in any way.

In a way, to begin with, the cards were a psychological

crutch. Th

ey helped me to focus my attention and

added weight to whatever information I had for the

41

Jus t in P e a rce

person sat opposite me. Th

e problem was that as time

went on, I felt more and more uncomfortable about

using the cards. I really didn’t know what it was. I got

to the point where I was doing as many as three or four

readings a week with the cards – all of which went

very well. But I wasn’t feeling at all fulfi lled.

I just couldn’t grasp what it was that bothered

me.

Th

en one day it occurred to me. I was sitting down

with a family at their home one evening. Th

ey had

invited me round to do some Tarot readings. Th

ey

had heard about me from a friend of theirs who had

told them that I was very accurate. I did enjoy the fact

that my name was getting around and people wanted

to see me.

After the fi rst two or three readings a lady came

in. I then started to shuffl

e the cards for her. She

sat opposite me and apart from being very gorgeous

looking; she brought with her a very strong sadness. I

went on to explain what I was about to do and if she

could ask a question in head. I asked her not to tell

me and she said she wouldn’t. I laid the cards out in

front of me.

Th

ey had absolutely no meaning whatsoever. Th

e

cards were just in such a mess. No reason to them

42

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

at all. I had got quite good at reading the cards by

then, so to have ten diff erent cards with no rhyme or

reason behind them. It just stumped me. I just sat and

stared at them. She asked me if everything was ok. I

hesitantly and with a stutter, explained to her that the

cards she had dealt meant nothing. I didn’t need to ask

her if they meant anything to her because they were

just all over the place.

It was then that I heard it. It was the voice of a

young child. He giggled in my ear. Freaky! I thought it

might be my guides laughing at me as I was stuttering

by then. I kind of just waved the voice away and then

decided to re-shuffl

e the deck and lay it out. By this

time the lady in front of me was getting very nervous.

I think I would if I didn’t know what was going on and

a psychic was sitting in front of me shooing something

that I couldn’t see, away. I must have looked like a

right loony. Bless her.

It was then that the voice came back and told me

that I was talking to the ladies son. He had recently

passed over and she was there to hear from him. Spirit

had arranged it and thought it best to kill two birds

with one stone. He came through with such strength

that I then decided it was time to put the cards away

and connect this lady with her son.

43

Jus t in P e a rce

After around twenty minutes the lady got up and

came round to other side of the table. She then gave

me the biggest hug. She said that she wanted to hear

from her Son and that she had hoped that I was a

medium as well as a card reader. She said that I was

amazing and she couldn’t have dreamed of a better

outcome to help her come to terms with her loss.

I did another connection after she left and then

I decided to go home. I sat in my car and thought

about what had just occurred. I then decided to take

a drive to Portsdown Hill. Th

is is an area that has

amazing views across Portsmouth from quite a high

vantage point. I parked the car and sat with some quiet

music on. It was while I sat there that I realized what

was wrong with me. I just didn’t want to tell peoples

fortune anymore. After that incident with the lady

and her son I just didn’t have the need to tell the next

person whether they were going to meet Mr. Right or

Mr. Right for now! It wasn’t fulfi lling enough. What

I had done back there was an amazing feeling. I had

been the one to connect with her son and make her

loss a little easier to deal with.

I had learned the diff erence between healers,

Tarot readers and mediums at the Holistic Centre. I

thought that I would try Tarot as I was getting good at

it. But that night I realized. If I could make someone

44

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

feel healed about their loss and get a connection that

actually helps. Th

en I wanted to be a medium.

I was meant to be a medium.

At least until the next time the self doubt crept

in!

45

Chapter Seven

EGO THAT WAY

OR EGO THE OTHER

DURING MY TIME at the Holistic training centre -

even with the dubious music and uncomfortable chairs

- I still felt that the experience was good for me as a

novice medium. As I mentioned, most of the teachings

went completely over my head, what with the whale

mating song and learning how to breathe in and out.

At one point we were even involved in exercises that

involved standing in the centre of the room pretending

we were skiing down a mountainside in front of twenty

other confused and sniggering students!

I must admit that I was glad when the course

ended. It was supposed to be over forty odd weeks.

We had just completed our thirtieth and they had

covered everything from spirit connection to Tarot and

healing. Th

e teacher became a great infl uence during

the course. Despite his orders from his employer to

follow the curriculum, he managed to bend the rules

46

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

when he could – positively snapping them in half on

occasion when he thought it was important to do so.

Even he even found a lot of what we were doing a

bit bizarre!

At the end of each month we would sit in a group

with other students and do a sort of group Spirit

connection. Th

ese turned out to be very informative

and quite illuminating. Some of the others would

bring their own style and experiences to it. We would

all retire to the pub afterwards, drink a few pints and

share our thoughts and interests. Th

e landlord would

cast a weary eye over us. He knew us as the weirdo’s

from the centre across the road. He thought we were on

a day release from the local mental institute, but stayed

polite in case we were drooling and dangerous.

One week, our tutor was out sick and it transpired

that the owner of the centre would be teaching us that

day.

We were doing Psychometry.

Th

is is where a piece of jewelery belonging to each

of us is put on a tray and we are to pick it up, touch

it and from the vibes, tell everyone a little about the

owner of the item.

It got to my turn. I seemed to get something

immediately. I was halfway through explaining to one

of the other people that her grandfather had passed

when I was rudely told to place the item back so they

could move on. Th

e lady asked the owner if we could

carry on and that she really wanted to hear from her

47

Jus t in P e a rce

grandfather. Th

e owner told her to please be quiet

because the evening wasn’t long enough for individual

reading.

I thought that was the whole point and decided

after that night that if I was forced to work with

the owner of the Holistic Centre again, I wouldn’t

bother.

A week later we found out that, indeed, we would

have him again. Our tutor was leaving and was told

that we would be working with the centers owner

again.

We all decided to leave.

On the last day we were there the tutor told

me, just before he left for his new job, that I was an

outstanding medium and would like to see me stage

or appearing in churches and community centres. Th

is

comment threw me completely. After that my head

couldn’t fi t through the door. It gave me the boost I

needed, knowing he thought so much of my ability

and that I was really good at this and it was then that

I decided to get out there and start doing readings.

Th

e problem with that is I hadn’t remembered

to leave something very important behind me when

I left.

My ego.

48

Chapter Eight

SITTING ON A GOLD MINE

SO THERE I am, sitting outside my mum’s house

in Gosport, Hampshire. It’s raining, cold and I am

waiting for the guy who lives next door to come home

so he can give me the spare key to her house.

I only have four pounds to my name and everything

I own in the world is in a tatty old duff el bag that I

am using as a makeshift seat. Th

e airport tags on the

bag say,

Toronto to Gatwick. 23/01/2001.

A few hours previous I was on a plane coming

home from Canada – alone. I had phoned my mother

from Toronto with some of the last Canadian dollars

I had asked if I could stay at her house for the time

being, until I got myself sorted. She was on a world

trip, at that time in Australia. Of course, she said yes

49

Jus t in P e a rce

straight away and I had somewhere to rest and collect

my thoughts.

So how did this all come about?

Well, let me start at the beginning.

1st April 2001

My mum’s 50th birthday party took place at the

Police Club in Kingston Crescent, Portsmouth. I was

having a great time, standing by the dance fl oor, quite

drunk and wobbling along to the beats of the latest

chart nonsense. Th

en came the part of the evening that

every single person dreads. Th

e DJ puts on a slow song

and you feel obliged to ask any female in the general

vicinity to dance – lest you look like the biggest loser

since the guy who invented square wheels. Well, I

tried and asked a few girls to dance. Got rejected.

Drunk another beer and resided to my fate.

Th

en I saw her.

She was standing over by the bar. She was wearing

an Armani dress and diamonds. Th

e most gorgeous

woman I had ever seen. She looked like Angelina

Jolie.

If I had died then and there I would have been

content that I had at least laid my eyes on such a beauty.

I was defi nitely in some kind of dream sequence from

a movie. Th

e room went misty around her and all

sound seemed to drown away.

50

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

All I could see was her.

I took another swig of my drink and staggered

over.

“Would you like to dance?” I muttered, feeling the

heat in my face…either from fear or beer.

“I would love to”

Eh? Did she just say yes?

A few months later the two of us decided to move

in together.

We were just friends at the time. At least, that’s

what it was to begin with.

We just happened to sleep in the same bed.

It was about then I fell in love with her. Hook, line

and sinker. Th

e complexities of our relationship are

something I will not bore you with, but it’s important

for you, good reader, to note that I was blinded by

emotion I had never felt before and it is partly that

emotion that led to a downward spiral that took me to

places I never should have been and thoughts I should

never allowed myself to even contemplate. But I am,

after all, only human.

We moved to a basement apartment by the sea

front. We chose that fl at as it was close to the pubs

and clubs and also to the shops. It was a nice place.

We settled in and made it as homely as possible with

the collective goods we had brought from our own

homes.

51

Jus t in P e a rce

A few weeks later the trouble started. We were

in the bed dropping off nicely to sleep when we were

suddenly awoken by a very loud scratching sound from

the door of our room. Shocked and scared, Natalie

asked what it was. I was tired and had little interest.

I said it was probably mice. Natalie correctly pointed

out that if it was mice, then they had to be genetically

altered mice with ten foot claws.

I did a vague attempt at being a good boyfriend

and got up to investigate. Th

ere was nothing there.

A couple of nights later the door opened, on its

own and the kitchen light came on. Natalie called to

me to make her a drink and turned over. I then said

ok honey. She immediately jumped up out of her skin

as she didn’t realize I was still next to her. She had

thought I was in the kitchen getting a drink. Other

things started to happen over the course of a month or

two. We both started to hate sleeping in the bedroom.

It had become so cold, even though it was summer.

We decided that we would move to the front room

and buy a sofa bed. We would sleep there instead. One

night I went to the bathroom and had the shock of my

life. Th

ere was a girl staring at me. She reached out

with both arms and shouted. I fi lled my underwear

and ran out. I also never felt comfortable in the house

on my own. Neither did Natalie. She sometimes

would work in diff erent parts of the country. She was

a salesperson for a brewing company. So she would

often fi nd herself having to drive to Cornwall and stay

52

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

over night as the drive would be too much in one day.

It got to a point where I would take the day off and

drive her to Falmouth and back. Eleven hour drive, just

so I could spend time out of the fl at. I am a medium

and speak to spirits all the time. But this still made

me very nervous. I didn’t like the atmosphere in the

house. Some nights my girlfriend would come home

fairly late. After a long day at work I would fi x her

dinner and then run her bath and put candles round

the edge so she could undress and jump straight in.

Th

e trouble was she didn’t feel at all comfortable in the

bath and would be out of there in around fi ve minutes.

She would often ask me to stay with her, which of

course I had no problems with! One Saturday night

we decided to have a whole weekend in. So we settled

down with food and movies. During the night she

looked over and saw a man in the corner. Suddenly the

end of the quilt rose up by about a foot, and she felt

someone tickling her feet. It was one of those things

that just freaks you out. Once we had her ex husbands

African Grey parrot stay over and we went out for

the night. We arrived home in the early hours and he

was sitting on the fl oor of the cage squawking really

loudly and most of his feathers had turned white. We

decided that we couldn’t wait to move after that. One

morning a taxi collected me from my fl at to take me to

work. He asked if I lived at 21a. I confi rmed this and

he told me that a girl had been murdered there a few

months before we moved in. Great!

53

Jus t in P e a rce

Th

e next part of the story almost happened in fast-

forward. Like a blur to me now.

Natalie had an idea.

She thought we should move to Canada. Th

e

plan was to do readings over there. Not readings for

two or three people in a living room or even a small

community hall environment. Th

is was a BIG plan.

Th

eatres and Auditoriums. She had connections. She

had the Business degree. It would be a cinch.

Four thousand tickets sales a night at twenty

dollars a pop. Her notion was that I could do three a

week and within a year we would be millionaires.

Brilliant!

Rich beyond our wildest dreams…all because I can

talk to dead people!

I was swept away on the tide of her enthusiasm

and knowledge, dollar signs ker-chinged in my brain.

At no point did I question the logistics, complexities

or idiocy of the plan. Th

ere were no morals or ethics

entering into the equation. At the time, it was my way

out. Out of the rat race, out of the boredom of work

and into Natalie’s heart.

And we were gonna get rich…..and quick!

I would be able to give her everything she ever

wanted and more!

I decided to hand my notice in at work and

subsequently sold everything we owned in a car boot

sale. We converted it all to Canadian Dollars and she

54

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

left for Canada nine days earlier than me to get started

and set the wheels in motion.

It was going well. I even had a stroke of luck over

the money conversion. It found myself eight hundred

Canadian dollars richer. We talked everyday about

my impending fame and fortune. In truth, it was only

my way of keeping her. I just needed to be with her in

a diff erent place. I couldn’t wait.

She found my fi rst venue - Th

e Norman Rothstein

Th

eatre in the Jewish district of Vancouver, British

Columbia.

I was so excited and missing her so much. On the

morning of the November 10th, I left my mum’s house

and said goodbye to her for what felt like a move that

would see me living and working in Canada for the

rest of my life. I even told her to book her fl ight in a

year to come to our wedding ceremony.

I got to Gatwick airport and as usual when I am

traveling by airplane arrived at least fi ve hours early.

I got to the airport to fi nd a huge queue at check-

in already for the plane to Vancouver. A young man

walked along the queue and gave out a leafl et saying

that the airline taking me had ceased trading and that

we were to fi nd alternate means of transport. What

kind of transport? Sail or maybe I should swim!! I

then had to wait 24 hours at Gatwick after purchasing

a new ticket from another airline to Vancouver via

Houston TX. USA. It cost me three hundred and

55

Jus t in P e a rce

fi fty pounds which is roughly eight hundred Canadian

dollars.

Oh the irony!!!!!

Someone, somewhere was trying to tell me

something. I should have listened.

I arrived in Vancouver 51hours after my original

fl ight should have left and I was met at the airport by

Natalie. I was tired, miserable and needed a shower…

but the woman of my dreams was here and we were

about to start a new life together with all the pressures

and stress of my past well and truly behind me.

Th

e best laid plans and all that!

5th December 2001

I arrived at the theatre ready to do my show. My

fi rst in front of an audience, which was more than

ten people in a living room. To say I was nervous is

the biggest understatement. How I managed not to

throw up is anyone’s guess. Adrenaline soon took over.

I was starting to feel pumped. Th

e nerves were being

replaced by exhilaration.

During my short stay in Vancouver I had done

some small, impromptu readings and the memory of

these successful outings certainly gave me an extra

boost (more on those later in the book)

56

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Natalie had me fi tted up with a brand new dark

suit. It cost about a thousand dollars. I had never

worn a suit that cost that much! But I did look the

bees’ knees.

Here I was, in Canada doing a show in front of

what I thought to be about 500 people.

“Start small” I had been told many times before.

Well, hey! Th

is venue was smallish, right? I wanted

four thousand people. A room of fi ve hundred was

chicken feed.

I was starting to feel cocky.

I was losing my nerves and replacing it with some

false confi dence.

Maybe it was the suit. Maybe it was Natalie’s

smile.

I had picked some songs to be played whilst I waited

in the wings with a bottle of strong Dutch courage.

Th

e music got louder and I walked on stage…

To a total of only 42 people!

I just stood there. Like an idiot in a very expensive

suit that cost more than we were getting from the

damn ticket sales. I had spent more time making sure

that the music had been right and that I came on at

the right place – I had even made sure that the lighting

was subtle enough. I didn’t think of anything past the

small introduction that I had memorized.

42 people?

My heart sank and my stomach rumbled.

42 people.

57

Jus t in P e a rce

I had to get in check. I had to sort out my

disappointment and growing pessimism before the

only people that had turned up got up and went

home.

Don’t look back and just get on with it…

So I began.

My fi rst connection that evening was to an older

lady who had lost her husband. I got the name of her

husband and her name straight away, which was a great

start. I then went on to describe him, the condition of

which he passed and some acquaintances they both

knew. It all looked promising. She said thank you

aloud after the reading and I began to relax a little and

concentrate on the job at hand…this was going to be

a piece of cake!

Th

en of course, the worse thing happened.

I went blank.

I had no connections

Nothing came through at all.

Zip

Nada.

Mr. Big Time had fallen over after the fi rst

connection. Th

e thing is, looking back, I had thought

I was the best thing ever in all those living rooms I had

done in the past. I assumed it would just fl ow and I

would have a great connection for everyone.

But no.

Welcome to the real world, Pal!

58

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

It seemed like an eternity for something to

happen. It was as if someone had rushed on the stage

and pulled my pants down. In fact, that would have at

least detracted from the fact that my mind had shut

off completely.

I waited for a while longer, pacing up and down

and straining for messages.

It was such a relief when fi nally something started

to come through. It was for a gentleman sitting with

his wife. I had a man through whose name was Earl.

He was quite fl amboyant and very camp. He used to

be a dancer and something to do with cruise ships. A

man in the audience I pointed too didn’t understand

any of it!! He had no idea who I was talking about.

Th

oughts of failure were running through my head

again by that point.

Someone get me a noose!

I didn’t have the knowledge I have now. If you’re

not getting anything then you wait. It’s not an exact

science. It’s not a script and it’s not always going to

work. It’s also only going to happen on spirits timescale.

I called an early break and practically ran off the stage.

I got to my dressing room and cried. I tried to get my

friends to go down and cancel the rest of the evening.

Th

ey could say I had fallen over or something.

Message from Upstairs - “No way. Get your arse

down there and get on with it”, I had to go out there

and tell them myself.

59

Jus t in P e a rce

I came onto the stage again feeling like hammered

crap. I had let everyone down. I had let my partner down

and all the people that had come for a message.

I couldn’t feel any worse than I felt right now.

Mr. Big Shot had been taught a lesson in

humility.

Th

e sound people in their booth put on another

song for my big entrance. I shouted up to them,

asking them turn on the house lights and turn off the

music.

Upstairs came through again “get down off the

stage, get a chair and sit in front of the audience”

huh?

I wasn’t sure where they were heading with all

this.

But as usual it was the right thing to do.

I just talked with the audience.

Something interesting happened. Th

e gentleman I

had spoken to before the break had made a phone call

at his wife’s insistence to one of his real estate clients.

He had had dinner with him a few days previously. It

turned out that the client’s partner was called Earl and

he used to be a dancer. Th

ey had traveled on cruise

ships for every vacation since being together for 40

years. He had recently passed over.

I felt a slight weight off my shoulders. Only slight,

but it sure helped.

I was then told by upstairs that I would allow

people to ask questions and I would answer them to

60

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

my best ability. I wasn’t getting anything else through.

I was stressed, upset and feeling totally humiliated. It

seemed like a good direction to go in.

Just me

Th

e rest of the evening went amazingly well. One

old lady got up halfway through and I thought she

was going to go home. I asked her if she was ok. She

said she couldn’t hear me properly and had to move

closer.

Th

at made my day.

At the end I asked them all to take their ticket

money home with them as I felt they hadn’t got what

they had paid for… As I fi nished up they all stood and

gave me a standing ovation.

ME!

It was probably one of the best memories I have

of that trip. It made me feel so wonderful to be

accepted by them, despite an evening that I would say

was not entirely satisfactory! I learnt many lessons

that evening. Most were a slap in the face. What the

audience taught me warms my heart to this day.

It’s never about how many show up to these venues.

It’s about the reason they show up. If there are one

thousand or ten, the people that come are meant to

be there. You have to get on with what you booked

the venue for in the fi rst place. No matter how badly

I felt, I must’ve helped in some small way.

I want to thank all those people that came that

night.

61

Jus t in P e a rce

When I got back home everything had changed.

More importantly at the time, everything had

changed for Natalie too. Not a great deal was said

about the venue. In fact we spoke little of anything

relevant to that subject at all.

She became increasingly hostile towards me over

the next few days – which then went into weeks.

What had I done?

Around Christmas time she announced she

was going to Toronto to spend the holiday with her

family… and that she was going on her own.

Despite my best protestations and questions, I

fi nally saw her away at the airport, trying hard to be

strong, fi ghting the twisting in my stomach. I was

completely lost and helpless.

I didn’t understand why this was happening to

me.

I had given up so much to be with her.

Blinded by my feelings for her, I still didn’t

understand.

It was around that time that I called my dad to

talk to him. I had checked our bank account and we

had no money. My dad told me that I wasn’t allowed

to spend Christmas on my own and that he and his

wife, Rachel, would send me some money to get

to California so I could spend Christmas with my

sister. She had not long moved to California and was

62

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

staying with her husband’s family in Hollister, near

San Jose.

Talking with my friend Dawn about my plan, she

kindly off ered to drive me to the airport in Seattle,

Washington...

I said goodbye to her and said that I would be back

to see her again soon. In truth, I never thought I would

see her again.

I spoke to Natalie often, yet the conversations

were strained and polite at best.

I decided to fi nd out what was happening with

us.

I just had to.

On New Years day I decided to take a bus to

Toronto, Ontario. I didn’t even realize the distance

I would be covering. It is around 3000 miles and 61

hours on the bus!

Th

at bus journey was amazing, yet I missed so

much of it due to my head spinning, purely due to the

delay it created in being with Natalie, coupled with

exhaustion from a four-day bus ride itself and a numb

bottom.

I did, however, get to realize a lifelong dream of

crossing the USA.

I saw the most incredible sights from the bus

window.

63

Jus t in P e a rce

My main memory is standing in the Nevada desert

at 3.30 am. Never had I seen so many stars in the

sky.

…And never had I felt as alone as I did on that

trip.

Life was just carrying on in a surreal way. Towards

the end of the journey, the whole world appeared to me

as a smudged oil painting. I fi nally arrived in Toronto

and met up briefl y with Natalie.

She wasn’t pleased to see me.

She doesn’t want me here. What did I expect?

I swallowed back my tears and made the decision

that it was time to call it a day.

Th

e hardest thing I ever did but one of the most

sensible.

So I ended up with my tail between my legs,

slumped on a duff el bag in the pouring rain waiting

for a key. It was my own fault.

I had broken all my own rules and betrayed my

own beliefs.

I was broken-hearted and full of self-loathing.

Th

e same things went through my head….and

they would for a long time:

What the hell was I thinking?

I wasn’t a Medium….

And would never try to be again.

64

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Lesson from this:

Please never make this work about the money and

the fame. It’s very easy to fall into that trap. Spirit will

help as much as they can fi nancially. But the money

has to be the last thing that this work is about. Th

ey

will give you a swift kick up the arse and put you in

your place if you do. If you do the work to the best of

your ability and for the right reasons. Th

en you will

be looked after.

65

Chapter Nine

A BRAVE NEW WORLD

AFTER THE EVENTS that took place in Canada, I

didn’t want to be a medium. I hated the thought of

doing anything related to the world of spirit after such

bad memories of what had happened. I had so many

questions in the grey matter between my eyes. Why

had Spirit sent me all the way to Canada? Not only

to fail but also to lose the love of my life? I was also

so annoyed with myself for the way I had approached

it – throwing my own morals and ethics to the wind,

annoyed with Natalie for leading me to that and, most

of all, heart-broken for having to make the decision to

end it between us, despite her femme fatale ways.

It didn’t matter how much of my life revolved

around the world of Spirit and how much it meant to

me…..things had changed. I knew I had over-stepped

whatever mark was there. Th

e crew in Head Offi

ce

was not happy with me.

66

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

By the way. As we are going to be with each other

for this book, when I refer to the “Crew” or “Head

Offi

ce” I mean Spirit.

Anyway, I put it to the back of my mind, confi dent

that I was doing the right thing.

Being a Psychic was like standing in front of a

charging bull with my ass painted red…..stupid,

humiliating, and helpful to no one.

Never again.

I spent about three days of the coming weeks even

going as far as to think of ending it. I know? Over

what? Well, Natalie was gone and I would never get

her back or see her again. Th

at was the hardest part

knowing that. I did wonder for a while whether it was

worth going on. I was sat in my mum’s lounge with a

bottle of whisky, feeling way too sorry for myself. I

also wondered what the hell I was supposed to do now.

I didn’t want to be a medium. I would be the laughing

stock of everyone I had told my plans too.

I would also have to face everyone. Not as a world

famous medium but as a taxi driver again. How would

I be able to live with that?

I fi nished the bottle of whisky and went to bed.

During the night I had a dream. My friend Mark came

through and shouted at me. He told me to stop feeling

sorry for myself and to get my life sorted. Spirit would

67

Jus t in P e a rce

help me out on this situation and I would fi nd myself

out of the miserable faze I was going through, soon

enough. Give us a little time. And, don’t do anything

stupid.!!!

Th

e next morning, with a raging hangover, I

remembered what had been said. I couldn’t believe

that I had been thinking of doing myself in over love.

It was still a raw feeling but nothing should ever have

persuaded me to go that far. It was time to sort my

head out and get back to the real world.

I decided that I had to get a job. Th

at is, of course,

after many days of daytime television and snack

food.

What job could I get into….I thought about all the

things I had ever wanted to do when I was younger..?

Astronaught was a very remote possibility. It would be

good just to be the fi rst fat man on the moon.

I had thought seriously about getting back into

the shipping business. I had the experience and

knowledge……the trouble is, I had the hatred for it

too. I telephoned a few companies and got nowhere.

It was a bad time of year for hiring.

Ok. Th

at was that idea out the window, down the

street and over the horizon in a fast car.

What next?

68

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Well, I eventually decided I needed a job that didn’t

have too much stress or long hours. A job I could do

for now until I worked out where my future lay.

Some psychic huh?

Th

at’s an important thing about being so in touch

with the world of spirit – they never give away anything

that is going to happen. Many people assume a Psychic

Medium can tell the future. I, myself, have been asked

to do readings, only to fi nd that they were under the

impression I could tell what would happen to them in

the future.

You just have to realize that they are there and

taking care of you. Th

at should be enough to get you

by.

I decided that I should maybe get back into taxi

driving as I had done it for quite a few years - part

time.

I didn’t think I would ever get back into doing

readings for people or involving myself in Psychic

matters again

Th

e memories of Canada were far too raw and

painful.

I telephoned my old driving boss, Rose, and she

told me that she would keep an eye out among the

cabbies for owners that needed a night driver.

She telephoned me a few days later and said that a

friend of hers was after a dependable person (me?) for

69

Jus t in P e a rce

the twilight hours driving his taxi, and that I should

give him a call.

I started driving again about a week later.

Th

ings were going quite well. Rose and I were

really old buddies and she told me one evening that

she needed a lodger - someone to rent a room in her

house. Th

inking about it, I didn’t want to outstay my

welcome at mums, so I moved in.

Th

at’s when everything changed, again!

It’s very diffi

cult to explain my reasons, but the

need to share my connections began to come back.

Stronger than ever.

I think after a while the pain and problems that

had crushed my spirit began to fade. I had ripped

myself down and pushed my natural leanings away,

trying desperately to come to terms with my shame,

anger and loss that I had felt.

In part, the family and friends I had around me

fi lled me with confi dence almost every day, holding

me aloft while I was drowning and, more importantly,

they believed in me.

Th

ey knew who I was

….and what I was capable of.

Just me?

I started to come back from wherever I was.

70

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

e crew upstairs obviously wasn’t prepared to let

me lie down and give up either.

It’s like they were pushing me.

Ushering me towards the doorway.

Maybe it wasn’t over just yet.

I was looking at a brave new world. It was scary

– I was nervous, but there was something that was

spurring me on.

It felt right.

I suppose, deep down, my calling was there. I was

still a medium at heart even if I didn’t rate my abilities

that highly. I would never be able to get away from it.

It was my calling in life to help people.

I decided I still needed a lot of practice. So I

decided to put the feelers out and give out a card to

people with my details on it. I thought at the time

that I wasn’t a good enough medium to even consider

some kind of charge. Especially after the lessons I had

learnt. Deciding to do readings for free, it seemed like

the best course of action and I would rely on spirit to

help me fi nancially. Plus, if I sucked at it they couldn’t

put the blame on me. I wasn’t making money out of it

so that line of cynicism was out the window.

I got some cards designed and took them to the

printers. I was told that it would cost £110 for 1000

cards. I had a bit of a shock so I put down a £25 deposit

and thought that I would try and earn the other £85

71

Jus t in P e a rce

on the Saturday night working on the taxis. Th

at

Saturday I bought a ticket for the National Lottery

and checked my numbers without much thought. It

was incredible!

I got four numbers and it paid out £85!

I have been told over the years through Spirit

that everything we think of as coincidence is not. It

is all meant to be. Destiny if you can call it that. I

dished out the cards over the coming weeks. I got

several off ers to come to peoples houses and did some

amazing connections.

It wasn’t for a few months till one night I did a

reading at a house in Portsmouth. It went amazingly

well. I was thanked for doing it but something was

niggling at me. I wasn’t being paid for this work. People

would tell me that it was a gift from God and should

be free. Well, so is an interior designer’s fl air, but

they don’t do that for free. Th

e problem with being a

medium is people almost always assume that if you are

charging you must be a charlatan. Its word of mouth and

peoples testimonials that seem to make people realise

that you are not just on a wallet emptying connathon!

People are reluctant to go to some unknown medium

and pay, not knowing if they can deliver the goods or

not…..but then, I would never charge if they weren’t

happy…..A plumber fi xes the pipes and we assume he

will charge, regardless. He must be good otherwise

he wouldn’t get business. People are happy to assume

72

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

this because it’s a tangible, obvious “thing” if you think

it’s a good enough job. I wouldn’t charge too much,

but I was feeling very poor. Some weeks I would do

a whole fi ve nights of connections at people’s houses

all over Hampshire. Th

en I would work the weekend

to pay for the taxi hire. I didn’t have any money at all

left over to live on.

I needed to charge only as much as I would make

working in the taxi, no more or I felt the kick up the

backside I got from Spirit. . I didn’t think that this

would cause a problem and it didn’t. I was feeling quite

happy for a while, covering my costs and still helping

people the best way I knew how.

Rose went away to South Africa for a two week

holiday. She came back in the October. She had

managed to get a nasty cough. We thought she had

some sort of disease or nasty bug and the doctors did

lots of tests. She got really sick around Christmas

when I went off to California for Christmas to see

my sister. She went for more tests after I got back to

England. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer

and brain cancer.

She passed away on August 23rd.

She had her faculties about her right up till when

she passed. I felt like I had lost a mother when Rose

had passed as we were so close. Before she crossed

over, I sat at the end of her bed. She knew she was

going to pass that night.

73

Jus t in P e a rce

It was a Friday and I was going to be heading off

to work in the Taxi. She asked me lots of questions

about what she should expect when she died. It was

very sad to hear, but I told her what I knew. I said

she wouldn’t be scared and that she would be met by

someone she knew and also by my twin brother so

she would see a face she knew on the other side. She

would also be met by her guides who would help her

through the transition. While talking to her I asked

her if she would send me sign to let me know that she

crossed over ok and that she was happy where she was.

She asked me what I wanted and I told her a feather

like the one in Forest Gump. She said she could go

one better and send me red feathers. She had been to

Las Vegas once on holiday and she loved the big red

feathers that the Vegas show girls wear.

She passed away in her sleep that night.

I waited a week for my sign. I had almost given up

hope when, on the morning of her funeral, a postcard

dropped through the door from my friend, Sue. She

was in Italy and she had lit a candle in a church in

Rome for Rose. On the Postcard was a cherub and

it had wings made of RED FEATHERS! It was all I

needed to know. She also told her daughter that she

would do the same for her. About 3 or 4 days after I

had my sign, Rose’s friend was taking her grandson

74

Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

to the Isle of White. She had a meeting there and

afterwards they were sitting in the terminal waiting

for the Hovercraft. Her Grandson who is about 3

years old at the time was playing in these potted trees

in the terminal when suddenly he ran out clutching

a big red feather and announced what he had found

and that he would be giving it to Roses daughter. Her

friend knew nothing of the request we had asked of

Rose so dismissed it. After they got back they popped

over to see her daughter and her grandson gave Roses

daughter the feather.

I still fi nd this sort of thing amazing, even after all

these years. As a medium, something always happens

to shock you to the power of the crew upstairs. Th

ey

amaze me everyday. I still miss Rose. Rose was an

amazing lady who helped me and never judged me. We

were really close friends. I do feel her spirit sometimes

and she still sends me Red Feathers.

I wasn’t sure where I was going to head from Roses,

but I would fi nd a way with my help from upstairs.

Again, lessons were being taught to me. I still had

huge doubts about it all, still had the pain and loss

from Canada inside, but it was a new dawning for

me. Th

e crew upstairs seemed to be pointing out so

much to me and I was trying my very best to do what

I thought was the right thing. Th

ere were possibilities

and opportunities there. I felt like I had been given a

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second chance and just hoped I was intelligent enough

not to waste it this time.

I think I had just come to terms with the fact that

being a medium was what I was always going to be.

76

Chapter Ten

THE VALUE OF WEDGEWOOD

Portsmouth, July 2003

I HAD LEARNT so much from my experience in

Canada.

As it turns out, it was the fi rst of many lessons.

I had met the people that ran a spiritual centre in

Portsmouth a few months before my fi rst major venue

in England. I had decided that I needed a base where

people could come and see me. Rather than trying to

do home readings and to advertise myself, I thought

it a great idea to rent an offi

ce space. Th

at way, they

could do the advertising, take bookings, I could carry

on with my job but work it in around my readings.

Perfect!

I arrived at this centre and met the two owners

who seemed very nice. Th

ey showed me the area that

I would rent from them on a daily basis. I thought this

a good idea, it had potential.

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Jus t in P e a rce

For some reason though, something niggled me

about the whole thing.

It took a while to click onto this feeling. Th

en it

dawned on me.

It still felt very impersonal – too much like

business. Nevertheless, I saw it as a good way to get

to help as many people as I could, as quickly as I could

with the time I had available to me.

Th

e charges to the customers were structured

by the owners of the centre, but I didn’t like what

they had done. I thought they were charging people

too much for my readings. Despite my foray into the

unknown in Canada, I felt very uncomfortable, and

still do about the fi nancial side of what I do. I know a

medium has to live but they wanted me to charge more

than I felt was right.

What’s happening Justin?

Th

is doesn’t feel right.

After the centre opened we did a few taster days

for £5 a reading which was a huge amount less than

they tried to charge originally.

I felt great doing these little sessions. I sat in a room

on the top fl oor and the queue of people there to see

me snaked up the winding staircase. I did several good

connections and also several “OK” connections – but

it was great experience and everyone went away happy,

which was all I really wanted from the exercise.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

I enjoyed myself at the centre at times, despite

my inability to get comfortable with the atmosphere.

After a while I asked if it would be ok to hold a meeting

in the basement for several people to come along at

once and for me to hold a group connection. Th

ey

agreed to this and I set about getting people to come.

Most of the staff knew people that would be willing

to participate and we had around 20 people arrive.

Th

e whole evening turned out to be dominated by a

lady and her mother. Th

eir whole family turned up

and took over an hour to get all the connections from

her family through. It was an amazing experience

for us all. Th

e ladies enjoyed themselves very much.

After the reading when everyone had gone home,

I sat down with the owner for a drink and made a

connection for her through to her father. She had no

idea that he’d passed away as he hadn’t been a part of

her life for a longtime. She understood and confi rmed

everything that came through. Afterwards she asked

me if I had ever thought of doing larger group venues.

She mentioned that she could arrange a venue and

suggested the Wedgewood Rooms in Southsea.

I had only ever been there once to see a band as it

was more of a music venue and they had never held a

psychic medium before. I didn’t really want to do the

Wedgewood rooms as I wondered about my ability to

do a show after my confi dence had been so smashed

in Canada.

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Jus t in P e a rce

We set about setting up the Venue and the lady

set up a photo shoot and some newspaper and local

TV interviews. I went along to do the TV interview

and although nervous at fi rst found it a lot of fun. It

only went out to the local area but it was a success.

Th

e interviewer made me feel very much at ease.

He had been given some details written by my new

manager. Th

e fi rst question out was whether I had a

lot of success on my recent US tour.

What US tour?

I had been to my sisters and done some personal

readings for her friends but that was about it.

I couldn’t believe it - Th

ey were lying to people to

make me seem more experienced and important than

I already was!

Bastards!

Th

e rest of the interview went ok. In general, I

was quite choked that I had done a TV interview, but

I was not happy with my manager at all. I confronted

her about the lie, explaining that it was something I

wouldn’t stand for and why was it done in the fi rst

place? She told me that it was just a small “white” lie

simply to make me look good to everyone else.

It wasn’t “white” it was practically “Black”!!!

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

After that, I wasn’t sure how I would carry on. I

was suspicious of them all, deciding pretty much there

and then that it would not be a partnership after this

coming event.

Th

at’s when it started to get worse! I heard (not

from them I might add), that they were going to

charge £10 per person in advance and then £12 on

the door. Th

is was way over any acceptable fee I was

thinking of. Damn. I didn’t want people to have to get

a second mortgage just to see a Psychic….and a novice

one at that!

I asked them not to and said that I would feel a lot

more comfortable charging £6.50 per ticket as many

people might not be able to come if they couldn’t aff ord

£10. Th

ey said that they would change the pricing for

me before they sold any tickets. Th

e tickets were made

available and the money was to go through the tills of

their centre. Another thing that made me suspicious.

I was then told that no matter how many people came

through the door I was not going to make any money

as all the money would be spoken for in advertising

and going towards the next venue. Th

ey asked me

to take leafl ets around Portsmouth and deliver them

through the doors of the areas I had already done

personal connections for over the years. My friends

Claire, Vicky, Jamie and Jenna plus my wife went

out in stifl ing summer heat to help deliver leafl ets to

houses. I wondered all along as to what my manager

would be doing to help us out. Th

ey also told me that

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I was to be billed as an alternative psychic i.e.: a taxi

driver who could talk to the dead and that I was to

keep it as normal as possible. Th

is bit I thought was

a great idea as this was and still is my main goal. To

keep it all as normal as possible so anyone can relate

to what mediums do and not think we are something

special.

Th

e night of the Wedgewood Rooms arrived and,

with the memory of Canada crunching away in my

mind, I waited in the wings to go on stage.

Th

ey told me the place sold out.

300 people had turned up.

Th

is news amazed me.

Wow.

300.

My friends were all there and I was told by my best

friend that they had all had to pay £12 as they hadn’t

already bought tickets. I asked my manager why she

hadn’t done what I asked and she said not to worry as

I was worth more. I couldn’t believe it.

Trying to choke back the anger, I paced in the little

room behind the stage, vaguely aware of the music

playing as everyone got seated and comfortable.

Worry about the manager later. Get this done

Th

e lights went down and I walked onto the stage

to a great round of applause from everyone.

What a rush!

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

e fi rst proper venue in England and in my

hometown too.

Just me, a chair, a beer, a pack of smokes and a

baseball cap. More on beer in a moment.

I started off with a few jokes to clear the atmosphere.

Not great jokes…a few one-liners and observations

which went down well to break the proverbial ice.

Th

is is it buddy!

I explained to the audience how I worked and what

would happen, allowing myself to relax a little waiting

for the fi rst connections to occur.

Th

e strange thing is that, I, my friends, family and

even my manager did not foresee the problems that

arose in a venue such as this.

Th

e staff had kept the bar open.

Why is that a problem?

Well, It may not seem like a huge thing, but,

during connections, people were walking up to the

bar in front of me, clinking glasses, scraping seats,

spilling drinks, annoying other people and distracting

everyone in general - including myself.

On top of this, the bar staff were having loud

conversations which everyone could hear.

I couldn’t believe that all this was going on while

I was trying to do my thing. It made it very diffi

cult.

During my “half-time” break, I chatted with a few

people and they tried to get the bar shut until I had

fi nished. Th

e last thing I wanted was more noise and

distraction on the next half. Well, the venue owners

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Jus t in P e a rce

weren’t about to close the bar and lose their profi ts, so

that was that.

When I went on for the second half, the connections

weren’t fl owing as much and I decided to stop for a

while and asked if there were any questions. I was

asked some pretty tough ones on various topics but

mainly on what happens after death. I answered them

to the best of my ability and the audience participation

was great.

Th

en I found myself being heckled.

One drunken gentleman had apparently arrived

with a whole group of people halfway through and

they were friends of the staff . Th

ey all found what

I did a little freaky and were probably there for free

drinks from their mates. I was told they didn’t believe

a word of what I do. I understand that some people

need convincing, but these people were just there to

shout and weren’t open to anything other than their

own voices... Th

is particular gentleman decided to

argue with each comment I made, laughing with his

friends and taking more swigs of his beer. I am pleased

to say I held my own throughout the evening. He

didn’t get to me and I was polite and helpful despite

his behaviour.

My friends were ready to pounce on the guy and

throw him through the nearest window, but I took care

of it with honesty and sincerity…my most valuable

weapons.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

What I would’ve given for a small bedside light! Or

maybe some pepper spray?

I still appreciate a healthy level of skepticism

always. As I think it helps to question thing in life

and not to take everything at face value. Just be polite

about it!

(Besides, it’s not like I can say I have never acted

badly after a few beers!)

I decided afterwards that it would be the last time

I ever did anything that involved a manager. I would

rather wait till the right time. Do it on my terms and

in a way that would help the audience best. So another

lesson learned. - Not to get ahead of myself, not put

my trust in anyone other than spirit and not to rise to

skeptics.

Just a quick addendum to this piece about beer.

Beer?

Yes beer.

I love a good pint. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no lush

and I certainly can go without it, but if you off ered me

a pint of orange juice or a cold one….well, go fi gure.

One thing I have learned however, is beer, and

being a psychic, doesn’t go well together. When I fi rst

started it was a great nerve-steadying device and a

couple of drinks would be the Dutch courage I needed

to prevent a mad dash to the bathroom to shout into

the toilet bowl. But we are dealing with the sixth

sense here. And as you know getting drunk dulls your

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Jus t in P e a rce

senses, even your sixth sense, so you can fi ll in the rest

of what happens when you have a couple more than

you should before a large group.

.

I received some really nice e-mails afterwards

– many about the connections I made and a lot that

admired me for standing my ground when it got

tough. I enjoyed doing the Wedgewood Rooms and

in a way am glad that I did a tough one for my fi rst

outing. But I had learnt more valuable lessons from

the experience.

I decided not to go back to that kind of venue and

allow someone to dictate what I should or shouldn’t

charge people.

As far as what I should tell them about me as far

as publicity and advertising goes….well, let the public

make up their own mind about me.

I decided I would no longer need the services of

my manager.

One of the most sensible things I have ever done.

Th

e thoughts I were having had changed since my

time in Canada. Th

ey were more positive, if a little

doubtful….but it certainly was a start.

Is this going to work?

I don’t know

I just have to trust in my guides more.

86

Chapter Eleven

FROM RELUCTANCE TO

ACCEPTANCE

AS YOU HAVE read throughout my life story, my

main problem was acceptance of my ability. I just

didn’t want to be a medium. It wasn’t a great career

choice. I would have preferred to have driven trains

or a porn star would have been nicer! Plus the schools

careers offi

ce doesn’t accept “I talk to dead people” as

a viable thing to place on your CV. I think my main

problem was that I didn’t want to be seen as weird. I

found that over the years keeping it real had been my

main objective. I still don’t understand what drove me

to go from the living room to the stage. When I was

a kid I enjoyed getting parts in plays. But they came

with a script. You just had to remember your lines and

everything would be fi ne. Th

e worst part of accepting

my ability was that I would have to prove it. I still ask

myself why it has to be proved. Most of us believe in

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Jus t in P e a rce

something after we pass away. So why then do we have

to prove it.?

I guess I was always scared to upset people. I

hated the thought that I couldn’t produce. Also, I have

always had a problem with being told what to do. I

could never get my head around the process of spirit

guiding me. Th

ey did need to be gentle, otherwise, I

would just give up (and I had on several occasions)

doing spiritual connections because I was told to do

them by spirit. It also seemed that every time I tried

to do home readings and then moved to group and

theatre readings. I seemed to stumble. I always seemed

to do well fi rst part of the evening and then seemed

to fall apart. I would then spend way too much time

telling myself how crap I was. I would blame myself

all the time, then as most human minds work, I would

sit there and have to fi nd someone else to blame. It

was nearly always Spirit. I would sit and yell at them.

I would also try and off er things to them, like; I will

give up smoking if you come through just once more

for this person or that. Th

ey don’t work like that. It’s

not going to happen for everyone. But I wanted it too.

I’m afraid that the “I wanted it to work this time or

I’m not going to do it anymore” was something that

came out of my mouth once too often. Like a spoilt

child at the sweet counter. I want that or im going to

hold my breath till I turn blue!! As you can imagine

that worked!!!!!!!!

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

One day I decided that I needed to change the way

I worked with upstairs.

After Canada things kind of got back to normal.

I still wasn’t sure of my ability. Th

en I did the show

at the Wedgewood rooms. I still thought that the

evening went really badly. It was getting to a point

where all I could remember were the times that I

stumbled. I would blame myself for being really crap

at connections. It was becoming a hazard to the way I

worked. What I didn’t understand was how come so

many readings went well. I mean these connections

were great. Th

en some connections wouldn’t hit the

mark or mean anything at all. But for anyone to stand

up in front of people without a script and to believe

that something unseen was there and ready to give

them information was an amazing feat in itself.

People have often told me that I must be very brave

to stand up in front of people. Th

ey certainly couldn’t.

Th

en go on to speak to them without any form of

prompting or script. How do you do it? My answer

back then was

“Dunno” I’m not sure yet myself.

I think a lot of it at the time was that I obviously

believed in something or why would I put myself up

there. I did believe that I was talking to spirit. But in

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Jus t in P e a rce

my naivety I thought that it was myself or spirit not

able to make the connection. I would spend months

beating myself up over what I was doing wrong.

I would shout at spirit. “How could you make me

stand there looking like an idiot and expect me to still

carry on.

I got my answer one day.

I went for a drive to Winchester Hill. It’s a beauty

spot just outside of Petersfi eld in Hampshire. It was

around 3am and it was so cold. I had just bought a new

car and thought that it would be nice to go up to the

Hill and check out the stars. I stopped in the middle of

a road that wasn’t used much during the day let alone

at night when it was really quiet. I stopped the car and

turned the engine off . I put the car into neutral and

put the handbrake on. I then opened my sunroof and

turned off all the lights. I leaned back in my seat and

looked up at the stars.

I was there for around half an hour when I shouted

at spirit.

“Why don’t you help me?”

“You want me to carry on being a medium you

better help me or you can all F**K OFF.”

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Show me a sign as to where I am supposed to go.

Surely I should stop being a medium. I wasn’t exactly

making any money out of it. What’s in it for me? I

called them a few names and sat indignantly in my

seat feeling very sorry for myself. Th

en it happened.

Th

e car decided it was going to roll forward about

50 feet. Well, I basically fi lled my pants. I could

understand if the car was rolling back or forward

down a hill. But this thing was rolling uphill!!! It came

to a stop. Th

en I felt an amazing amount of energy. It

was the same energy I feel when I get a connection.

It’s like being wrapped up in cotton wool. Th

en I saw

him. It was my brother. I looked at him walk to the

side of the car and look. I thought I was dreaming it.

He bent down at stared at me through the window

and then vanished. I thought that I was seeing things.

I don’t usually see spirit. If I do it’s only in pictures in

my head. But this was diff erent. He looked right at

me, like he was solid. He then disappeared.

I then got tonnes of information in my head all at

once. It just knocked me for six.

Spirit was shouting back!!!!

First thing they said was “Exactly who do you

think you are talking to us like that”

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Jus t in P e a rce

Th

en it all came through. Th

ey seemed to calm

down a bit once they saw how scared I was. Th

ey told

me that I was a very good connection to the spirit

world. Th

ey didn’t choose me for this work for the

hell of it. Th

ey wouldn’t have waited so long for me if

they didn’t want me to do this. Th

ey told me they had

invested lots of time and energy in putting me in the

right place at the right time. Both to learn how to do

this and to learn my own lessons. If I didn’t sort my

head out and stop denying my ability to speak with

them. Th

ey would shut me down.

I can tell you it wasn’t very nice. Well and truly

put in my place. I deserved that. But then something

clicked. If I am denying my connection with spirit,

why are they now having a shouting match with me?

If they didn’t exist then why would I be having this

conversation? If I didn’t have a strong connection

with them they wouldn’t be telling me off . I certainly

wouldn’t be listening.

After everything calmed down they then showed

me a kind of movie. Th

ey showed me all the times that

I had got a connection through. Th

en they showed me

the aff ect it had on these people. Th

e pain that they

brought to the reading with them and then the relief

they took away. Th

ey reminded me of all the times

that I had been written too with letters of thanks and

praise for my work. All the phone calls telling me how

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

much better they felt. If I wasn’t going to be a medium

and spend the rest of my life doubting and denying

then I had better stop right now. But they knew as

well as I do now. I can’t stop. I love it too much. It

gives me such a sense of wellbeing and such a sense of

love. I couldn’t and wouldn’t stop doing it. If it went

a little bad sometimes, it wasn’t me. It was just the

information got stuck somewhere.

I was then reminded of a time that I went on tour.

Ok, I didn’t fi nance the tour. But I had to take nights

off the taxi and lost money not working. My friend

Steve had sorted it. He wanted to get my name out

there. He wanted me to become well know. Also, if we

made a little money back after costs then it’s all good.

Th

e tour lasted ten dates. It was a fl op attendance

wise. In Cardiff 11 people turned up. In Swansea

(which we drove 500 mile round trip for) 7 people

showed. Th

e best one was the one I did on my own.

Steve couldn’t make it to Weymouth and 4 people

showed. I wondered why I was supposed to go on tour

around the country and to lose a shed load of money

and have hardly anyone turn up. I was told by spirit

that it didn’t matter how many people came. Th

ey all

went away with the feeling that their own relatives and

friends were safe and well. Th

ey were going to go back

and tell people what an amazing experience it was. I

was being reminded of the amazing connections I had

done for these people. But I was also reminded of the

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Jus t in P e a rce

people that just didn’t understand their message. Spirit

told me that I needed to learn something. Everything I

get through is from spirit. Its not a case of something’s

are right and some are wrong, none of it is wrong. It’s

not me who isn’t accepting the message it’s them. It

wasn’t their fault or spirits or mine. It’s my energy

listening and feeling their energy from the other side.

It’s not going to be easy to get the message. Especially

if people don’t understand how it works. Th

e amount

of people who came up to me afterwards and said that

they did know who I had through or they were either

waiting for more information. Or they may have had

to make a phone call or talk to their family about who

it may be. Th

ey were then reminded that the spirit gave

information that actually meant something. Th

ey had

just forgotten. Some people didn’t want to hear from

the spirit. Th

ey had just come to make up numbers

and sat there hoping that nothing came through. Or

they were too scared to put their hand up and speak

in front of people.

“Its not you”

Spirit then went on to say that they had watched

me grow as a medium and had helped me grow. Th

ey

had made sure that I could tell the diff erence between

my own thoughts and what was being received from

them.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

So, I had to stop grumbling and get on with it.

Th

ey then left me with one word that I now use all the

time “TRUST” I have to trust in spirit. Trust in my

ability to get the message across. Trust in the reasons

they come through. If it’s not being accepted then

just carry on. Make sure that you go onto the next

spirit coming through. If you do a connection where

no one wants to accept any information then so be it.

Please trust that we will get the information across. If

someone doesn’t accept it out loud. Th

en leave them

with the information. You will then know that they

will go away both accepting the connection and not

wanting to say anything out loud or fi nd out more

about who came through.

Th

ey then told me about a book that I was going

to write. It would be a book about my life and my

reluctance to accept the feeling I was receiving. Th

ey

also told me that the book would be a tool and manual

for people who would be feeling the same way I did. I

would become a teacher in this too. I would tell all my

experiences through this book and it would help many

people. I must admit the thought of a book scared me

too. I was pretty good at English at school and when I

was a kid I did enjoy the creative writing class we had.

But I wasn’t sure how it would come about. But I knew

then that spirit would help me write it.

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Jus t in P e a rce

A few days later my friend Sue came to see me

and we decided to go out for a walk. We took my two

dogs to a place called Droxford. It has a church in the

village and just beyond the church yard is a stream.

Th

e dogs were messing around in the water when I

decided to tell Sue about what had happened to me.

She then said “What about a book?” I nearly keeled

over. I then told her that I was told to write a book

about my experiences. She said it was an amazing

idea. She would write the chapters lists and help me

out. My friend Mark would then take over, which he

did. But I had to write the book. I wasn’t allowed to get

someone to write it all for me. I had to give everything

I had to writing it from the heart and spirit would help

me. It had to be from me. Just me. As a receiver from

upstairs.

Th

e next day I was sitting at home and the phone

rang. It was the local newspaper. Th

ey had seen a

piece about me in the Welsh national paper and saw

that I was from Portsmouth. Th

ey liked that fact that

I was a taxi driver that talked to dead people. Th

e

interviewer came round to my house that afternoon

and took some photos and did the story. I answered

every question as honestly as I could and he went away.

Th

e following Th

ursday I opened the paper to see a

full centre page spread about me. Th

ey had been really

fair with me and not put down what I did. Th

ey were

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

really amazing. I then went out and booked a new

venue.

It went amazingly well. Th

e connections were

strong and fast. Th

en I got stuck. I had a young lad of

about 19 come through. Spirit were guiding me to a

couple at the back.

Th

ey didn’t know who I was talking about.

“Fine”. I think you do know who this is. I had

given them so many pieces of information. You’re just

not thinking. I went on to explain how he passed and

the names of his family and friends. Th

ey still didn’t

know. Not a problem. I then told them to go away

and think about it and let me know. In the break the

woman came up to me and said that they had just

remembered the spirit and weren’t expecting him to

come through for them as he wasn’t family. I told them

it didn’t matter and they were to accept anyone that

came through. Th

ey agreed to try harder next time. I

felt like a school teacher. Th

e second half didn’t go as

well as the fi rst but I got a few people to come forward.

But what an experience.

It was the making of me. Th

ose couple of weeks that

changed me around. I didn’t feel like crap anymore. I

felt like I had truly embraced my ability and had taken

what spirit had told me without reluctance. . I felt

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great. I knew that spirit were there. I just had to Trust

in them. And I did.

At long last I was a medium

98

Chapter Twelve

I HAVE BEEN HIRED!

I WOULD NOW like to tell you that I had fi nally got

over my reluctance to accept my ability and embraced

my connection to spirit whole heartedly. It had taken

a lot of soul searching and too much denial to get

where I am today. Also, a lot of patience from my

guides. I am surprised that they held out that long to

be honest. It’s like someone who is afraid of heights.

I had to go over that high bridge to get to the other

side. Even with its missing slats and only a thin rope

to hold on too, I had to get over my fears of falling

over the edge. But for years I was running around at

the start of the bridge like a headless chicken, trying

to convince myself that there was another way round.

Th

ere wasn’t. I knew it and so did spirit. So they held

on in there until I was ready.

I have had a lot of amazing connections since I

have accepted my life as a medium. Th

ey seem to have

understood that I needed time to learn. I have since

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helped so many people come to terms with their loss

and also helped lots of people come to terms with their

own ability.

I have had lots of home readings in the last couple

of years. I have been setting up several small tours of

community centres and small halls around England

and Wales. I have also had great successes on my trips

to California. My friend Mark also started my web site

(details at the back of the book!). I now have around

two hundred e-mails a week from people seeking

spiritual advice which I always fi nd the time to answer

personally. I have also been doing a lot of successful

telephone readings which have helped people who

can’t make it to see me.

It has been quite a journey to where I am today. It

has been a long road. But I have fi nally found what I

want to do with the rest of my life.

Heal.

100

S E C T I O N T W O :

Th

e Manual

Th

is next section is the “Manual” part of the book.

It covers a lot of ways of discovering your own abilities.

It also teaches about everything from meditation to

how to deal with cynics in life. It’s my guide to you.

Th

e main theme of my work has been to ”Take

what you need”. By this I mean that in life, try to take

as much information as you can. But you only need to

accept what is good for you. Everyone has their own

opinions on how to access your potential. Th

ese are

just some suggestions and also some ways that helped

me build my confi dence in the early days of realizing

my ability.

Th

ank you

Chapter Th

irteen

FULL CYCLE

FINDING A WAY to access your psychic ability is like

any learning process. For some it’s easy, for others it’s

like trying to run through a wall of porridge. Trying

to connect with parts of your mind that you wouldn’t

normally pay much attention to requires a great deal of

work, passion and time. First and foremost, it should

at least be fun.

I fi nd that if you make this learning experience into

a kind of game for yourself, you’ll reap the rewards a

whole lot faster than pushing yourself unnecessarily.

Th

ink of it as buying your fi rst bike.

You’ve never been on one before, you know its

going to take some time before you’re King of the

Streets. You have to learn how to stand on it properly

fi rst. Learn how to propel the thing forward without

losing your balance. You’ll fall off the damn thing the

whole time, trying to pull off all the moves trying to

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Jus t in P e a rce

impress your friends’ .But the process is a hell of a lot

of fun - even if you aren’t BMX king just yet!

Of course, you are unlikely to fl y off the pavement

into a shop window by using psychic ability - come

to think of it, don’t buy a bike. Dangerous bloody

things!

A fun way of checking your psychic ability is if you

are walking down the street, driving or whatever…

even just sitting in the park, try and guess what you

will see next. I used to do this all the time and in fact

still do just for the fun of it.

I remember doing an exercise once where I drove

to work and said things to myself, testing my ability

the whole time.

“Th

e next car I see will be green.” I said confi -

dently.

I was waiting at a junction and the next car I saw

was a green car. Th

en I thought I would make it a bit

harder.

“Th

e next car I see will be a blue Rover.”

It was.

Th

en things got interesting.

I said to myself that the next thing would be a

cyclist with a scarf on and a green light on the front of

his bike. Sure enough, a cyclist went by with a scarf

on - but no green light. Now, I was kind of pleased

with myself, but annoyed that he didn’t have a green

light on the front.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Just then, around the corner came another bike.

Th

e guy had a scarf on and – da daaah! - A green light

on the front of his bike.

Its fun, try it out.

It is advisable to keep a journal of your little psychic

tests. Whenever you feel something that you feel is not

your usual way of thinking, then write it down. Also,

when someone calls you on the phone, and then try

to guess who it may be on the phone before picking it

up (without checking Caller ID)! If you’re right, then

write it down. Another one is to keep a dream journal

beside your bed, so when you get up in the morning

you can write down the dreams you can remember.

Th

is will help as some dreams are precognitive. Th

ey

can also be from spirit guides giving you subconscious

help while you sleep. It’s all good for feedback. I have

mentioned in this book that mediums need some kind

of feedback from the people we have connected for. If

everyone sat there and said nothing, then went away

without you knowing if the connection was a success,

then we would soon start to doubt the connections we

are having. If anything strange or “psychic” happens

to you, if you see a friend you haven’t seen for a while

and you were just thinking about them, then write

it all down. It’s a great feedback tool for you. It also

helps you so you don’t think you’re going off your

head. Also, it helped me remember certain readings

and psychic things that have happened to me over

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Jus t in P e a rce

the years. It’s also advisable when you have done a

connection for someone or a reading, and then ask

them if they wouldn’t mind putting their feedback

in your book. It’s always good to keep a record of

the connections you have done. Whether they were

positive or negative. It helps you with your feedback

to go over the connections and there meanings. It may

come in useful when you go to write your memoirs

one day.

We are all born with a psychic ability and are

able to connect with spirit. Over the years this ability

seems to fade away for a lot of people. But, I think it

hasn’t, we just aren’t looking out for the signs. Female

intuition is a good example. It’s referred to often, but

rarely questioned.

When we have lost someone, most of us have had

a dream about that person. Th

ey have felt so real.

You could almost touch them and smell them, it’s

such an amazing feeling. To give a great example,

when my last dog passed away, as always, I was heart

broken. I have loved all my dogs without reserve. I

have never gotten over any of their passing and I miss

them very much. One night, I had a dream that I was

in the woods with all the dogs that had been a part

of my family from a kid upwards. Th

ey were all there

running around, playing. I was throwing sticks for

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

them and having a great time. My dog that had just

passed came running out of the trees, ran over to me

and I gave her a rub and pranced around with her like

a complete softie I am with dogs. It was great. I could

feel the heat of her tongue on my hand when she licked

me. It was such an amazing feeling to be able to see her

again. I cried when I woke up. I knew that it was her

and all the others I had the privilege to know. Th

ey

were happy - doing what they enjoyed the most. Th

eir

own personal heaven, running around in the woods

chasing sticks.

Th

ese dreams are actual contact with spirit. I have

heard some amazing stories from people of genuine

spirit contact in dreams and then they ask me if I

thought they might have made a connection???

Of course you have! And it’s an amazing feeling.

Th

ere are some other exercises you can do. Ask

for signs from spirit that they are there. I was driving

along the motorway once on my way to Wales to do

a demonstration. I was feeling a little low because we

had done lots of venues with very little response. I

know now it was all part of the learning process I had

to go through.

I asked for a sign, something to tell me that I was

being taken care of. All of a sudden a truck pulled onto

the motorway from a service station in front of me.

On the back of the truck was a huge sign naming the

haulage company. Th

ey were called “Faith” transport.

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Jus t in P e a rce

Th

ere it was in huge black and white lettering. Th

is

may seem like a small thing to some, but to me it was

the biggest thing since spreadable butter.

It’s the little things that make a diff erence. Look

out for these signs. I have some very good clairvoyant

friends that wouldn’t see a sign if it was thirty foot tall

in bright neon words that said “SIGN” and hit them

on the head – twice!

One evening, in my taxi I dropped off a fare in a

place called Denmead. I was going through a hard

time coming to terms with the fact that, as far as

I was concerned, I was losing my ability and many

connections didn’t seem to be going the way I had

wanted them too. I felt that I wasn’t performing to my

best ability. I decided to drive through the countryside

on the way home instead of the motorway. When I

started driving I looked up and asked for a sign.

Out of nowhere came an owl. It was beautiful. It

swooped down and fl ew just above the windscreen for

about three hundred yards or so. It followed the road

and then perched itself on a telegraph pole. I pulled

over and looked up at the owl, admiring its brilliance

and majesty. On the radio came a song. Th

at song

repeated over and over again the same words - “have

faith in us and we will get you on your feet again”.

My Brother in Law, Brent, who is one of my best

friends, lost his mother a couple of years ago to cancer.

Before we met, he didn’t believe in much other that

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

what he could see and hear, touch and taste. It wasn’t

until he found out about my ability and saw it fi rst

hand that he went out of his way to learn more about

what I did. Over the years he has learnt what to look

out for and I think understanding the process has

made it a lot easier for him to understand the signs

his mother is sending him.

One morning, he decided to clean up the garage.

He stuck a CD on his stereo and started shifting stuff

around. He was going through the drawers of an old

wooden desk that his mother used to own, and hidden

underneath the desk was a secret drawer. He pulled

it open and lots of pictures, of his mother with her

friends, came out. Holiday snaps etc. And as he held

them up, fl icking through each one, the cd he was

listening to started to jump. He listened to the line

that was jumping and it sang over and over, “I had

a great time” He understood this to be a sign from

his mother that she was fi ne and she had enjoyed her

life.

Look out for these signs be them small or large, in

your face, signs. We all tend to wander around in the

world, thinking we have a pretty good grip on things.

Stop for a while everyday and look up. Th

ink about

why you are here. What it means to you.

As I mentioned earlier in the meditation chapter,

go out for a drive or a walk in the middle of a clear

night and look up at the stars. Feel yourself as part of

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Jus t in P e a rce

this huge machine that is life. Its amazing what you

can accomplish doing this.

Try it.

Lesson: Enjoy discovering your psychic abilities.

Don’t shy away from them and certainly don’t be

scared. We all have these abilities. Some are heightened

in others. It’s an amazing feeling when you fi nd out

what you are capable of.

110

Chapter Fourteen

MEDITATION OR PLAYSTATION

I HAVE READ a lot of books in my time on how to

meditate and relax your mind for spirit connection.

I have sat in group circles before in uncomfortable

chairs being told, time and time again, that I’m not

sitting correctly for the “positive energies” to come

through. On the same occasions I have been asked to

breathe in the light from an unseen, imagined golden

ball of light in the air and blow out black smoke. You

have to keep your eyes fi rmly closed in a blacked out

room with whale song in the background.

Mmmmm!

I think there has been too much over the years

of people telling you how to meditate and connect. If

it works for that person, then great. But everyone is

diff erent. It used to make me feel really guilty for not

sitting down for an hour or two everyday and listen

to my breathing and trying to pull in energies that we

sometimes can’t feel. At the time I would rather have

played video games and had a beer!

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Jus t in P e a rce

I say, whatever works for you. I am not going to

tell you how to meditate in a certain way. I am not

going to tell you that you should be seeing things in

your mind.

We have diff erent ways in which we meditate and

the only way it can work is for you to do it your way.

How you feel comfortable.

A friend of mine would go and meditate at the

Holistic centre on a regular basis yet was constantly

disappointed that the only outcome was that blue

lights seemed to appear behind her closed eyes. It was

explained to her that these blue lights are spirit and

they are connecting with her. So seeing them week in

week out helped her to come to terms with her own

abilities. But she found out later that if she sat on her

bed at night, listening to music with her eyes closed.

Th

e same things would happen.

So, in my opinion, you should relax and meditate

in a way that works for you!!! Th

ere are no rules here.

You could buy a hundred books on the subject and

still fi nd that lying on your bed, listening to music

on headphones would be the only way for you to be

comfortable. If that is the case then so be it...

I fi nd the best way for me, and these are only

suggestions, is to walk your dog in the woods. Find

some woods in your local area, a fi eld, a park, the

beach or a lake is great. Take a walk. If you haven’t got

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

a dog then just walk by yourself (walking your cat or

hamster is ill-advised and too stressful)!

While you are out walking, fi nd a quiet spot where

there is no one else around and just stand there. Use

your senses. Th

e idea of meditation is to clear your

mind.

Hear the wind going through the trees or birds

singing. Feel the breeze on your face. Watch the

branches of trees sway.

At the beach, listen to the waves lapping against

the shore and feel the sea air in your lungs while you

watch the horizon.

At this point, it’s easy for me to get all tree-huggy

and hippy, but the fact of the matter is that in the hectic

rat race we all scurry around in, we have forgotten to

stop and take it all in. All the wonderful sights and

sounds of nature and the beauty of this world are

quashed by our debts, our twelve hour working days,

and the need to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie!

Ignore the onslaught of insurance quotes, instant

coff ee and cable TV.

Drown in the sheer delights that nature has to

off er.

Listen out for the thoughts in your head. Try to

remember the things that go through your mind; they

may be spirit messages...

Messages from spirit come through in diff erent

ways to all mediums. It’s like this most of the time, for

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Jus t in P e a rce

me anyway. Example: You are driving along the road,

yet your mind is thinking of a conversation you may

have had with someone or perhaps you are thinking

“Did I leave the iron on?” or “Did I set the video?”

Well the voice you are hearing in your head is your

own voice. You are still concentrating on driving or

shopping or whatever you are doing, but that voice is

there whilst you go about everyday stuff .

To confuse matters, for most, it’s exactly the voice

you hear when you are getting a connection. I know

what you’re thinking. How the hell am I supposed to

separate these voices? Well, you just know. Go with

it. Try it out. TRUST. You may fall over and stumble

on the way. We all have. But the main thing is just try

and separate the stuff that you are receiving from your

normal thoughts. Try this; ask yourself a question and

go with yes or no answers. Th

e fi rst thing that comes

into your head, go with. Even if it seems out there. It’s

like the TV Show Catchphrase “Say what you see”

Like fl ipping a coin to answer a question.

I used to think that other mediums were so much

better than me and that they would tell me they

can hear the voice of the person they are talking to.

Th

ey probably can if that’s the way they are supposed

to get the information. But, if you are getting the

information through via diff erent means, then go

with it. Don’t expect the spirit to talk in their voice.

Remember, they may not have a voice as we know it.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Th

eir communication is done through the power of

thought.

It may be a lot to take in, but the key is to “listen”

and take in these thoughts. It’s not about posture,

breathing or strange music. It’s about you.

Relax, let the world fl ow through you and listen

to yourself.

You’ll be amazed.

Lesson: You can do this in anyway that is

comfortable to you. Listen to your own feelings on

how you want to meditate.

115

Chapter Fifteen

COINCIDENCE?

WHILE WE ARE talking about your potential here,

let’s drop the word ‘coincidence’ from your vocabulary.

It’s not a word. It’s an easy way for people to explain

everything weird and strange that happens to them.

As spiritual people we know that when something

happens to us out of the ordinary. It’s nothing to do

with that coincidence word at all, its spirit. Your own

blueprint that I have talked about. A little shove in

the right direction from your guides. Nothing in life

that happens by accident (another bad word) or is just

a coincidence.

I think that the following stories knock the

“coincidence” argument on the head!

My kid sister, Michelle was going through a bad

time for a while in 1995. She had a boyfriend who

was frankly, a total idiot! He didn’t treat her very well

and she knew it. Something told her she should leave

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

him. She was also in a temporary agency job that she

despised. She seemed to be going no where in her life.

She was a trained nanny by trade. She had worked in

many houses in the area for some very nice people.

In the last place of employment she had worked with

a baby and watched him grow up. Th

en he went off

to school and she had to fi nd diff erent work. One

Th

ursday, she bought our local paper “Th

e News”.

It’s had a job section in it once a week. As she leafed

through it she noticed a job. It said “Nanny required

to live and work in California” Local interview

with previous nanny. Experience and qualifi cations

required. She rang me and told me about the job. I

said “Go for it”. She was very nervous about the whole

thing. She had never been anywhere abroad on her

own before. She was also a nervous person anyway.

Hated the thought of any interview, and starting a

new job, terrifi ed her.

She went for the interview and was immediately

off ered the job. Th

ree weeks later with everything she

owned in the world, we all said goodbye at Heathrow

Airport. She looked so small and scared on her way

through departures.

Around a year later she had settled in nicely. She

was getting ready to come home. She had 3 months left

on her contract. Th

en something amazing happened.

Michelle had been invited to a BBQ that evening, but

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Jus t in P e a rce

as her boss had meetings every Wednesday, she had

to work late, so was unfortunately unable to go. . But

her boss phoned later and told her she would be home

early as the meeting had been cancelled. Michelle went

to the BBQ with her friend. Half way through the

evening two men arrived at the party. As one walked

in he said hi to Michelle’s friend as he knew her. Th

e

other one smiled at my sister. My sister then turned

to her friend and said “Th

at’s the man I’m going to

marry”!!! After chatting together for an hour. Brent

then told Michelle that he wasn’t going to come to this

BBQ. But he was due to go to the grand opening of his

friend’s new bar in town. But the night before the bar

had burned down in an accident. So, they had decided

last minute to go to the BBQ instead.

Two years later they were married. Th

ey now live

happily with their two children in California.

A lady e-mailed me once. She told me she had

recently lost her friend and had found my website

by chance! Whilst reading the e-mail, spirit were

practically jumping up and down. Th

ey were telling

me that I had to off er this lady a connection. I wrote

back asking her where she lived. I get several hundred

messages from people around the world. So I needed

to know where she lived so that I could know whether

to give her a telephone reading. She mailed back and

told me she lived in Portsmouth, England. Well, as

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

you already know, I live in Portsmouth too. I couldn’t

believe it. I decided to give her my telephone number

for her to call me to arrange a one to one reading. She

phoned the next day and was chatting away about

arranging a reading and how she had found my web

site by accident. I asked her where she lived. She gave

me her address…………………………………It was

two doors away from my house. She had no idea. She

had only just moved into the house and we hadn’t even

had a chance to meet. I couldn’t believe it. No wonder

spirit had wanted me to do a connection for her. Th

ey

had arranged it.

She came over that afternoon and we had an

amazing connection which her friend came through

with an unusual strength and put her mind at ease.

I travelled to America once on what the airline

industry call a “buddy pass”. Th

is means that they

allow employees of the airline free friends and family

passes to anywhere in the world. All you have to do is

make a small payment to cover taxes etc. A friend in

California set up the pass for me to visit and do some

more spirit connections. On the way out I had two

stops on the way. I had to fl y to Atlanta, Georgia, and

then change to a fl ight to Salt lake City, Utah, then

on to Sacramento, California, where my sister lives.

A bonus of the passes was that I got to travel in First

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Jus t in P e a rce

Class. WOW!!!!! It was amazing. I had never fl own

fi rst class before.

On the trip home I fl ew direct from Sacramento,

California to Atlanta, Georgia. When I arrived at

Atlanta I was informed that the buddy pass scheme

was a standby basis only. Th

ey couldn’t get me to

London. It was Easter week and the only fl ights they

had left were to Paris, France. Damn. I didn’t know

what to do. So I decided that I was better getting to

Europe than waiting in America. I wasn’t sure how

long I would have to wait. So I thought at least I am

on the right side of the Atlantic! I arrived in Paris

and went to the Eurostar Terminal. I changed up the

dollars from my readings that I had saved. It changed

to 230 euros. I went to purchase my ticket and couldn’t

believe that it was 230 euros to London. I was a little

upset at the huge price. But at least I had enough

money.

When I arrived in London I went through customs

at waterloo. I looked tired and irritable going through

customs. Not a great way to look when you are going

through the “Nothing to Declare” lane. A customs

offi

cer stopped me and asked to see inside my bags.

Great, I though. All my dirty laundry all out over his

desk. He asked where I had been and what I had been

doing. I told him I was on a short break to America.

I also told him that I was a psychic medium. He just

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

looked at me shocked. He then went on to tell me that

his grandmother had just passed over and he would

love to know whether she was safe and ok. Well, you

guessed it. I ended up sitting at his desk with all

my laundry strewn over it getting his grandmother

through. I needed that, I thought. It must be some sort

of cosmic joke by spirit. I thought of them laughing

their socks off at the situation they had put me in to

do this reading for a customs offi

cer

I arrived home on the Friday and because I was

absolutely skint. I decided that I had to work on the

Saturday. I joined the taxi rank at Portsmouth Harbour

Station. After about an hour a group of 4 people came

over to my taxi and asked me whether I could take

them to Leeds in Yorkshire. I obviously jumped at

the chance. Th

e fare for that journey normally goes

for about £400 in a cab. But I told them I would do

it for them for the same price as a train ticket each.

We worked it out at £300. After I had taken out my

fuel costs it worked out, converted to around $400

dollars. So I got the money back that I had spent on

the Eurostar train ticket to London.

Spirit works in the most amazing ways. Please

never question why they put certain “road blocks” in

your way. Th

ey are all meant to be. Just accept them.

Coincidence?

Yeah Right!

121

Chapter Sixteen

SEPARATING THE WHEAT FROM

THE CHAFF

RECEIVING A MESSAGE has a lot to do with how the

message from spirit is received by the medium and also

by the sitter. As I have said before. It can be hard work

getting the messages to people sometimes. Mostly it’s

due to not being able to get what the medium is seeing

or feeling over to the person receiving the connection.

Sometimes people just stare at you. But the worst

kind is the one that won’t accept a message from spirit

unless you have given the dearly departed persons leg

measurement or national insurance number. It doesn’t

work like that and it never will. Th

e information we

receive comes from spirit in the diff erent forms. Now

depending on what sort of receiver the medium is,

depends on the way the message is given from Spirit.

Some mediums see the spirit in a fl ash or hear the

spirit in their head. It’s mostly in the mediums own

voice. You know that voice that talks when you think

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

to yourself... But the information always comes

through in a way that the medium can understand.

In the mediums frame of reference.

Th

e thing is some cynics ask why the message

isn’t given to us as a two way conversation. Like, the

sitter asks the spirit questions and the answers get

relayed like a phone line. It doesn’t work like that,

and I don’t know why either. It would be amazing if

it was like that. Th

e way spirit gives its information,

to me anyway, is in images and movies and songs etc.

If I need a name for someone then they will show me

a friend of mine with the same name. Or an actor or

a fi lm with the name in it Also, they will put song

lyrics in my head or the year of the song I’m hearing

has a meaning. Sometimes I will see photographs of

the person I am connecting with. Other times I will

receive numbers too. If I receive the number 61. It

could have several diff erent meanings. It could be that

the spirit was 61 when they passed. Th

ey may have

lived at number 61. Or they passed on the 6th January.

Weird and hard I know. But that the way it is.

An example of how we get the message and give

it is. I did a sitting for a group. I had a message for

a gentleman. I had an image of the movie “Men in

Black”. Now if you have seen this fi lm it has Tommy

Lee Jones and Will Smith starring. So I heard the

theme tune in my head and thought about what it

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Jus t in P e a rce

could be. I went through all the scenarios in my head.

Could it be the name Will or Smith or Tommy etc?

So I thought I would just say what I was seeing. I said

to the gentleman

“Who are the Men in Black?”

He laughed and told me he was a Funeral Director

and there were three of them and they called each

other “Th

e Men in Black”

It’s like learning a new language when we do this.

Imagine that you are learning Spanish. Some people

prefer a book course to read. Some people want it

on tape or cd and others want to sit in class with a

teacher or watch the TV and learn that way. Well,

the information we get comes to us in diff erent

forms. If I see a rose I am probably connecting with

someone called Rose or it’s an anniversary? Either a

birthday or the anniversary of the passing. Th

ey will

show me sometimes the cover of Blondies Album,

Parallel Lines. What that means to me is that there is

a parallel between the sitter and the spirit. Th

at could

be either a name that the sitter has in her family is the

same name passed down as the spirit. Also, If I see a

movie with Tom Hanks in it, it will be that either the

movies title has a meaning or the name Tom. Etc etc

etc. Confused?

Yes it is confusing. Th

e time you have to get this

information processed is a matter of nanoseconds.

Th

at’s why we cannot spend time analyzing the process

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or the stuff we get. It’s in and out ASAP. It’s a strange

way of receiving information. It would be so much

nicer if the spirit turned up, stood next to me in full

view and then told me to repeat everything they are

saying. Th

at would make all mediums lives so much

easier. But, and I never question this, it doesn’t happen

that way. Th

e way we work is just it, WORK. We

have to try hard understanding. Th

en it’s down to the

receiver in the audience or wherever to understand the

stuff we are getting.

What we are dealing with is a living consciousness.

It’s essentially telepathy between Spirit and medium.

Have you ever tried to mind read someone? It’s

impossible. But because a mediums conscious Spirit

gets in sync with a Spirits consciousness. It’s kind of

like trying to talk to someone in a nightclub. First you

have to get their attention from across the room. Th

en

you have to shout loudly. If that can’t be heard then

you use hand signals. You can try pretty hard to get

across what you try to say. Everyone will use diff erent

signals to say the same thing. Like if you want to know

whether someone wants a drink and what they want

to drink. You could come back with vodka and they

wanted a brandy. It’s still a drink but the message got

confused somewhere along the line. So it’s that way in

what we do. You have to be able to accept the message

as a sitter and not question why you’re not getting

the national insurance number. Some connections are

very strong. Sometimes the spirit is able to give you

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so much information that you let it out and it’s like

talking to the spirit yourself. Th

is happens every now

and again. Its not that the spirit can’t do it. It’s just

like anything in life. Some people are better at art

than others or some are better at singing etc. Some

spirits are better at communicating with a medium

than others. Just as some mediums are better at

understanding through practise. We are not using

our voices or our minds. We are talking soul to soul.

So it is like learning a new language but without the

availability of tapes, books etc.

When you go for a connection you need to keep

an open mind. We are talking to spirit and we want

desperately to get someone through for you. Not

because of our own satisfaction. We are aware that

our friends and family and guides are with us. We are

doing this for you to be aware of this too. Doing this

job is like the TV program catchphrase. Say what you

see. You have to help us with this. If we get something

through for you, please accept it. Try not to wait for

more information before you acknowledge them. Th

ey

are working to come through for you. Th

at’s not to

say that if I tell you I have your mother with me and

she hasn’t passed that I want you to accept it. Let

me work for it. Just don’t expect to get the person

standing next to me with a megaphone shouting all the

information through. It’s like when you go abroad to a

country where you don’t know the language. Shouting

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

in English isn’t going to get your message across any

easier. We have all been guilty of that. But as I have

explained, we will try hard to get the message to you.

Just bear with us.

Mediums also have what we know as “Ah Yes”

messages. It’s not until after the connection and

everyone has gone home that people come up to us

and say “Th

at lady you were talking about earlier.

Well I asked my mum and she said it was my Auntie.

It’s what is known as psychic amnesia. We all get it

sometimes. We may not be able to remember our uncle

Joe. But Joe is going to use this opportunity to come

through regardless. You have to try and remember the

information you get and then relay it to your family.

I have been guilty of this once. A medium once asked

me whether my mum had twins and one died. I said

NO!! What an idiot I felt. How could I have forgotten

that? I did correct myself straight away. But if you

don’t the medium may lose the connection.

Lesson: Not everyone is going to understand all

of the information you put out there. It may be stuff

that they will have to confi rm. Make sure you ask the

person to let you now if you were correct or not.

127

Chapter Seventeen

SOMETIMES EVEN WE CANT

GET THROUGH

ALL READINGS CAN sometimes go a little weird.

It’s amazing how many books only cover the best

of readings or the truly memorable stuff and how

amazing, the people thought, you were as a medium.

Sometimes when you do a connection nothing

happens. I have discovered lately that this happens

to us all. I wanted to let you know about this. If you

are a budding clairvoyant there is nothing worse than

reading a book by a medium or watching a medium

on TV and they do an amazing job of connecting the

people with their loved ones and they get information

on information and it all goes amazingly well. Th

e

reality of this is that it doesn’t go well all the time. All

of us from your local medium at a spiritualist church

to your internationally recognised TV mediums have

days or sometimes weeks where they don’t seem to

get anything right. It’s part of what we do. We have

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all asked the same thing “what happened with that

connection?” Why did that reading go so bad and the

others went so well?. I have said many times after a

couple of weeks of not getting much at all, I am going

to give it all up and just be a taxi driver. I know the

streets of Portsmouth like the back of my hand. I can

have a laugh with my passengers or shout at them

when they are being vile. Why should I make myself

look like a complete idiot? Well, you have too. It’s all

part and parcel of being a medium. It’s not going to go

well every time.

Th

ink of it this way. Th

e best footballers in the

country only get around 40% of shots at goal into the

back of the net. It doesn’t mean they’re not any good

at football. It’s just that sometimes they don’t get the

shots set up properly. It’s like that with mediumship.

You may not be getting the strength from some spirit.

Also, they may only pop in just to say hello before

disappearing. Not every spirit can make it through

with half an hour of information. Th

ey just want their

friends/family to feel that they have come through.

Please don’t let a few weeks of getting nothing get

to you. It’s not an exact science. It’s a very hard thing

to do. You are going into these peoples homes or you

are standing up on stage with no script, just your blind

faith in something unseen. You just have to realise

(which takes ages) that they are there for you. Spirit

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exists and they want to come through. Th

ey want to

speak to their relatives or friends here. But, some spirit

won’t come through for everyone. Not everyone will

get a message from spirit. It would be amazing if they

all did. Imagine the scenario everyone comes to you

and all gets the most amazing connection. Apart from,

of course, having two hundred people in the audience

and two thousand of our other guests from upstairs.

It would take more than a couple of hours I reckon.

It would be nice though, I must admit. But for the

most part spirit will only make the energy available to

help those who truly need it. I’m afraid that your ego

and your need to shine for everyone are not on their

agenda. It’s just a case of dealing with it and not letting

it get to you at all. Otherwise, and trust me on this,

there wouldn’t be a single medium worth anything

left. Th

ey would have all packed it in long ago for the

easy life.

I have recently been talking to my friend Dawn

in Canada. She has told me that she is taking a break

from connections for a while. She did a connection

for her friend. Her friend didn’t have any clue as to

what she was talking about or who she was talking to

in spirit. After the connection she then ridiculed her

for being weird and not gifted at all. It really hurt her.

I know that a few years before, one bad reading would

put me out of action for at least a month. I have been

in this situation quite a few times.

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One evening I went to a house in Wickham. It’s a

quiet little town just outside Fareham in Hampshire.

I arrived at this ladies house and she showed me into

her front room where Twelve of her family and friends

awaited. After I made myself comfortable I started in

with the connection. I explained the spirits I thought

I had, then nothing. I then tried to connect in again

with others, nothing! Th

is went on for Two hours

where I got so frustrated that I informed them I had

had enough. I went to the kitchen and a lady followed

me. Th

en an amazing thing happened. She told me

that she wanted to speak to someone desperately. I

tuned in again and her mother came through. Th

e

information fl owed through for her. It turned out that

it was the anniversary of her passing and everyone in

the room had only wanted to hear from her and they

had all known her. I did a nice quiet one to one reading

and it fi nally went well. But when I got home I had

forgotten about how well the one on one connection

had gone and concentrated solely on the fact I hadn’t

got anything for twelve people. It put me out for

around Th

ree weeks. All I could do was tell myself

how bad I was. I mean, if I can’t get anyone through

for twelve people. How do I get something through

for one?

I also did a reading once for a group. Th

e evening

went really well. I took two at a time into the kitchen

and sat with them. I seemed to get really great

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Jus t in P e a rce

connections. After most of the people had fi nished a

lady came in and asked for her reading. After around

ten minutes I couldn’t get anyone through. So I told

her so.

We then went back into the main room with

everyone and I took questions and answers and general

feedback. Th

e lady that I didn’t get anything for then

asked if she had to pay.

I confi rmed that she did as it’s a group payment of

a set amount and it’s only fair to share the cost with

friends. She then said I was “Out of Order” and that I

couldn’t get anything through so I was “S**t” at being

a medium.

Everyone told her to go home and then apologised

to me. I would have taken that pretty badly at one

point. But, I know now everyone is entitled to their

opinion and she had the right to say hers.

You have to blow it off and think back at all

the great connections you have done. Part of being

a medium is being sensitive. But don’t allow people

like that to talk down to you. Explain to them calmly

about the process. If that doesn’t work then tell them

to P**s Off !!!

Lesson: It will be hard carrying on sometimes.

But please don’t let a few bad connections put you

off . Please try and think of the great connections you

have done in the past. Th

ese will see you through the

hard times.

132

Chapter Eighteen

A TASTE OF THEIR OWN

MEDICINE.

I WAS JUST thinking the other day why do we

mediums get all the hassle. If you think about it, take

the professional sceptic, the ones that run magazines

and go on TV as the so called sceptic side of the

argument. Th

ey call themselves a professional sceptic.

One in particular has off ered $1 million to the fi rst

person that can prove life after death in a scientifi c

environment. Th

is has been off ered to any medium

that can prove that he or she is in direct contact with

spirit. Th

ey think that we are all charlatans that pray

on peoples emotions. Even on things like Living TV

they have a disclaimer that says that TV programs like

John Edward Crossing Over and the 6th Sense with

Colin Fry are for entertainment only and diff ering

opinion exist to the true nature of clairvoyance

and clairaudience. Why is this? What isn’t there to

believe? Plus, how are the connections we give people

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classed as entertainment? It’s so wrong. It’s because of

these so called sceptics. Th

ey are cynics in my mind.

I think everyone should be slightly sceptical to begin

with and not take anything at face value. But these

people go out of their way to discredit what we do. Ok,

check this. Would these professional sceptics and co

like to go to the Catholic Church and off er them $1

million to prove the existence of God? Or just before

Songs of Praise and the BBC every Sunday, a notice

that says this is for entertainment only and there are

diff ering opinions exist to the true nature of believing

in God? You would never see it. So why do we have to

be bundled under the banner of entertainment?

Go Figure.

Professional sceptics wouldn’t dream of following

the pope around telling the world that he is a fraud

and his teachings are praying on the vulnerable. He

has no proof that God exists? It’s just a strong belief

system that we all have. Mediums believe that we live

on after our passing and that we are able to connect

and contact our friends and relatives on this side. All

the religions around the world believe in an afterlife

and believe that they can speak to god in prayer. Why

haven’t the professionals gone after every religion? I say

you should believe in what you want to. I have given

my life to spirit contact... Just as a priest has given his

life to something unseen. I think it’s about time that

the professional sceptic gets on his bike and starts

opening his mind to the chance that this is the real

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deal. Th

ey should also remember that any medium

who is in this for genuine contact wouldn’t want their

$1 million anyway. Believe it or not, we are not in

this for the money. It means nothing to us. We do

this for love and because we know how it feels to have

lost someone close and received a genuine connection

from a medium, one who has peoples feelings at heart.

So they can stick their money where the sun doesn’t

shine. It just shows what drives them if they think

that’s what drives us. What we do is for real, not

some joke. It’s not fair they accuse us of praying on

people emotions? What I fi nd the most alarming is,

every time they knock this process and tell everyone

that will listen, that we are not in contact with their

friends. Th

ey are taking someone’s feelings about what

an amazing thing they have just experienced and their

own personal beliefs and squashed them

Its funny, I never thought these people could wind

me up. But it makes you wonder what their agenda is.

I have had some amazing connections and people have

gone away feeling 2000% better. I just hope that the

people who have had an amazing experience won’t let

what these people say get to them.

So, what was that about? Well, as you get working

on your ability. You will fi nd that there will be so many

people out there ready to knock the wind out of your

sails. Th

ey can do it too. I have had it nearly knocked

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Jus t in P e a rce

out so many times. A bad reading or someone telling

me that I am doing the devils work. Or tell you, that

you are rubbish and nothing made sense. Well, you

will get this along your road. Just please don’t let this

get to you. Trust in your guides. Take the negativity

on the chin and remember what I have said all through

this book. Listen to what you think you need to hear.

But mostly listen.

Lesson: Don’t take any rubbish from anyone

wishing to force their opinions on you. You just trust

in spirit and do your job to the best of your abilities.

Part of having this ability is being sensitive. But you

need to grow a thick skin when these people spout

their views. By all means listen to them as everyone is

entitled to their opinions and take what you need from

their views. But if they are total cynics then walk away

and don’t think too long on what they have said. You

will fi nd yourself arguing your views with these people

and never try to change their opinion.

136

Chapter Nineteen

MEETING MEDIUMS

IT WAS AROUND Christmas of 2003. I talked to

my friend Steve about doing some demonstrations

in venues around the country. I need him to help me

book these up and, well, pay for them as I was very

poor at the time. Steve had seen me work before and

liked what he saw. He agreed to book ten venues.

Hotel conference halls and small stage venues to

start. Steve also suggested that he wanted to go and

see a medium in action as he had only ever seen me

work. He wanted to see what sort of venues other

mediums used and what kind of turnout we could

expect, also how we were to advertise and also how

to get return bookings. We decided to go along and

see a medium, who I think is still one of the best,

Stephen Holbrook. He was doing a demonstration

in Swindon, so myself, my friend Sue, my wife Angie

and Steve drove there to see him. Th

e evening was

held in a sports centre in the middle of a basketball

court. An odd location I thought. But hey, who am I

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Jus t in P e a rce

to say where to go. Th

ere were several seats setup in

the middle of the court and the spectator seating was

also used. We sat in the spectator seats and we settled

down and watched the people arrive. I couldn’t believe

it when Colin Fry arrived in the audience too. Colin

Fry has a very popular TV show called the 6th sense.

Everyone fl ocked round Colin before it started. He

gave autographs and settled down. I had seen Stephen

work several times and always went away with not only

a connection, but also the feeling of total hopelessness.

Th

is hopelessness stemmed from the fact that I always

felt I could never be as good as these other mediums.

I have now come to realize in the last few years that

we all have essentially the same delivery system for

the information. Th

e only diff erence is the way the

statements are made. Th

ink of it as a version of the

song My Way by Frank Sinatra. Hundreds of people

have sung this song over the years. It is the same music

and the same lyrics. But it will be delivered diff erently

by diff erent singers.

I was lucky enough to get to meet Colin Fry in the

interval at the bar. He seemed very approachable. We

had a great chat about working as a medium and the

negative eff ects that professional skepticism has upon

us. He is a very genuine, nice guy. I enjoyed meeting

him. I also got to chat with Stephen again. He has

really made the work of the medium so much easier.

He has a way about him. It puts you totally at ease

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

with him. Some people go to these venues and start off

feeling scared and vulnerable. But Stephen puts their

mind to rest and explains the process beautifully.

I have also learned a lot from meeting mediums,

whether in person or through their books. My

personal favourite is John Edward, the American host

of Crossing Over. I have read his books many times. I

always take something new from the pages, as I hope

you will from this book. When I feel that I am rubbish

at this, I always pick up his book and listen to him. He

often says that when he had his own offi

ce space to

do readings, he would have maybe ten readings a day.

Some of them would go brilliantly. Some would go ok

and others wouldn’t happen at all. So when I feel that

I am not doing well I take this into account that some

of the best mediums in the world can’t get it right all

the time. I also seem to learn something new from

these mediums every time I see them work or read

their books. It seems that every year I do this work. I

get better and more confi dent. But every now and then

when I doubt my ability, I take inspiration from one

of his outstanding books. Th

ey always seem to make

me remember why I do this work. I feel as a medium

I have grown up with these other mediums work.

Stephen Holbrook was the only medium to have

got my brother Jason through. After the evening had

ended I talked to him about my own experiences. He

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Jus t in P e a rce

was very helpful. I will never forget what he wrote in

my book that I had bought. He wrote “Reach for the

Stars”. Th

ank you Stephen and all the other mediums

that have smoothed the pathway ahead for us all.

Without the, frankly, brass balls of these pioneers

putting their necks on the line and going out there on

TV and on stage, it would have made the rest of our

jobs very diffi

cult. It has helped this work become so

much more accepted. Th

ey take a lot of rubbish in

their work everyday.

Lesson; Read, watch and learn from these people.

Th

ey have been through all of this before you. Use

their own experiences to make up your mind living

with this ability.

140

Chapter Twenty

GOOD PSYCHIC, BAD PSYCHIC

I FEEL I must warn you that you have to be so very

careful when selecting a medium to make a connection

for you. Also, be very careful if you decide to visit a

fortune teller to fi nd out what’s going to happen to

you. We all need external validation sometimes. Even

I have been to see mediums and the odd fortune teller

to fi nd out. As mediums we know that our friends

and relatives in spirit are safe as we speak to them

and acknowledge them everyday. We also know that

whatever happens in the future is meant to be. But

it’s like booking a holiday. You have the confi rmation

letter in your hand with the receipt and your itinery.

But, you still fi nd yourself calling the tour operator

to fi nd out if everything is going to schedule etc. Its

outside validation from the people who know that will

help you. Th

at’s why mediums go to see mediums every

now and again. Not just to see how they work but to

hopefully get a message. But, please be careful.

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Jus t in P e a rce

Let me tell you a story about being conned. I had

just started taxi driving. I had been driving a cab in

Portsmouth for about 3 weeks. I was working for a

company that has closed down now called Mainline,

Pompey, Strand. I was working one Tuesday night

when I got a call on the radio asking me if I would like

to go to Kent on a wait and return job. I was to drive a

man to Sittingbourne for him to pick up a Greyhound

Dog and bring him back with the dog. It had been

quoted £200 which I jumped at the chance of earning.

I collected the gentleman from the offi

ce and started

to drive. Th

ere was a feeling I wasn’t sure about with

this one. I wasn’t sure whether I could trust him or

not. He seemed genuine enough and very nice. But I

think that upstairs were warning me about him. Of

course back then I wasn’t sure of my connection and I

wasn’t going to turn down a job of that caliber because

of an instinct.

We talked all the way to Kent. He had recently lost

his wife to cancer and was raising his two daughters.

He was a dog owner and racer. He said that he knew

everyone in the offi

ce. He was also very close friends

with a few taxi drivers. I didn’t recognize the names,

but I put that down to the fact I hadn’t been driving

for very long. We got to the destination about 3 hours

later and he jumped out of the car and went round

the back alley to this house. I waited for about 20

mins and he came back. He didn’t have a dog with

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

him. He then told me that we had to go back because

he was around £70 short of the price and the vendor

wasn’t budging. He then asked me to drive him back

to Portsmouth so he could get the money for the

Vendor and some extra to pay me and come back a

few days later. He was very annoyed that he couldn’t

take the dog away with him. I then suggested that

rather than wait, I could lend him the £70 out of my

bank until we got back and he could get the dog now

rather than make the trip back up to Kent. He was

very hesitant but decided that it was a great idea and

thanked me. We drove to a bank and I withdrew the

money. We drove back to the address and he got out

and went back down the alley to the back of the house.

I waited………………………………………….

Well, you can guess what happened?

After about an hour I knocked on the door of the

house and a gentleman answered in his dressing gown.

I told him that I had dropped off a man; he said he

knew nothing about it.

I wasn’t sure how I reacted to this news but I can

tell you foolish, naive and generally pathetic were up

there in my top ten feelings at the time. Why did I

trust this man and his lies and the way I had been

duped. I felt very sorry for myself. I drove to a 24

hour garage and called the Police to inform them.

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Jus t in P e a rce

Th

e offi

cers arrived and the fi rst thing they said was

“Welcome to Kent”

Yeh, Funny!!!!!!!

Th

ey took a statement and informed me that I

was not the fi rst that had been ripped off by this con

artist. I probably wouldn’t be the last. He is apparently

a heavy gambler who travels the country sometimes

winning and paying the drivers but when he loses big

he rips the drivers off with various stories of dealing in

gold, Jewellery and of course greyhounds. Th

e offi

cer

then asked me how I was to get home as I didn’t have

any diesel in the car and all my money had been given.

It was my last £70 in the world till pay day and I hadn’t

earned anything that night. Th

e Policeman then gave

me £20 out of his own pocket. I want to thank that

offi

cer for his kindness. It helped renew my faith in

people a little that night.

I did hear a few months later that the gentleman

had been caught. He had gotten a taxi from a racetrack

in Cardiff . He had tried to swindle to taxi driver out

of a £200 plus the £400 fare. Th

e taxi driver had

apparently beaten the hell out of him and then called

the police. I’m not sure of what happened to him. But,

I believe in what goes around comes around.

Th

is is a lesson really in who to trust. You may

go and see a fortune teller, clairvoyant, medium or

whatever. But please, before you do make sure you

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keep an open mind and a skeptical one to - but not

a cynical mind. . Please take all the information you

get and take what you want from it. Some people are

deliberately out there claiming to be in contact with

your friends and relatives but they are just trying to

make a lot of money out of you at a time when you

need help. You’re all intelligent enough to separate

the good from the bad.

I went to a psychic fayre once and listened to a

palm reader tell a woman about her life and what

was going to happen to her. I then over heard him say

exactly, to the word, the same thing to another lady

half hour later, then again to someone else. I have gone

way beyond being shocked by some of the tactics some

people use. Please don’t think that we are all in this

for personal gain. Th

ere are a lot of people out there

that can do what I do. It’s about making an informed

choice. I and others will try our hardest to get the

message through to you in the best way we know how,

with compassion.

I think you should go and see a medium or psychic

based on word of mouth and reputation. If a medium

or psychic is doing their job properly then you will

get to hear about them. A great way of fi nding a

good psychic or medium is to wait before booking the

sitting. Ask your friends who they would go and see.

Basically allow spirit to decide for you. Th

ey will put

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Jus t in P e a rce

the psychic or medium in your lap. Like the Phoenix

Centre card I found in Tahoe. It will just happen. Go

with it.

It’s like when I decided to get a dog. I didn’t want

to buy one so I asked spirit for one. I asked them,

if I meant to have a dog then please fi nd a way of a

dog getting to me. I waited a few weeks. A friend

and fellow taxi driver was talking about his recent

relationship breakup and asked if I knew anyone who

wanted to take their dog from them as they couldn’t

look after him anymore. We got our dog. Th

e second

came the same way. I asked spirit for another dog. A

few months later a man at my wife’s work was given

a puppy. He had never owned a dog before and it

came as quite a shock all the work necessary. So he

asked her if she would like another dog while they

were talking one day.

So, wait for spirit to decide who you are to go and

see. It will happen if it’s meant to happen.

Also, I would like to warn you that no amount of

visits to a medium will help some people. Please don’t

let your grief take over so much that you go and see

twenty mediums to fi nd out what you need to hear.

I have done many readings and the people have gone

away happy. But they have been waiting around for

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that one word or name or whatever, something that

means a lot to them. I have got lots of other validations

through. But they need that one thing for them to feel

like their family, friend has come through to them.

Until they get that they will carry on going to see

mediums until one day, boom, they get their message.

Th

en the grieving process starts. Th

ey feel they must

go back to several other mediums to see if they too

can get that person through. If they don’t, it all starts

over again. I too have been guilty of this at one time.

Please grieve fi rst. Go through what you need to do

with friends and family and maybe councilors. But

only after that, consult a medium if you feel you need

too.

Lesson: Remember that spirit will bring people

to you. Once you have a reputation for fairness and

good connections, people will talk about you. It’s the

best way to get out there. If you’re open and honest

about what you are capable of. People will accept you

for what you are.

I hope you got plenty of help from that section.

I fi nd that everyone is so diff erent when it comes to

the development of their own ability. It can happen

for some people very quickly. For others it may take

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years. If you are meant to take this path, then it doesn’t

matter how long it takes. You may not get it straight

away. But remember, it’s not yours to try and get it

done quicker. It’s up to spirit. It’s their timetable. Th

ey

will use us all when the time is right. Some people

get straight out there and get on with it with total

ease. Others may fi nd that they have to raise a family

fi rst. Th

ere are lots of mediums, psychics and healers

that don’t start their own development until they are

retired. Don’t lose faith or heart in this. It will happen

when it’s meant to be.

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S E C T I O N T H R E E :

Connections

Th

is next section is the “connections” section.

It covers some of the more memorable connections

that I have done over the years. It also includes some

connections that I have had to make while working

in my taxi. Th

ese were all much unexpected as I have

learned to close down whilst driving my cab. Th

e last

thing I need is for Granny to come through for the

man in the back of the car whose blind drunk and

covered in Chicken Kebab with Chilli sauce!!! But the

spirits mentioned in the “Taxi Tales” part made their

presence strongly felt. When this happens I certainly

won’t stop them. As these sorts of readings are really

meant to happen.

Chapter Twenty One

TAXI TALES ONE

THREES COMPANY

SO THERE I am, sitting in my taxi outside the most

popular nightclubs in the centre of Portsmouth. It was

a Friday Night (my most lucrative night of the week)

and I was doing okay. I seemed to making a reasonable

amount of money. Enough to pay the bills cover my

costs and, despite a few alcohol-fuelled scenes in the

street from drunken revellers, I was having a good

night.

On this particular occasion I considered myself

lucky. It was a couple. I assumed they had both left

a club called “Lush” after a good night out. Th

e girl

surprisingly got in the front seat of the taxi and closed

the door, I thought I heard a rear door close and

casually looked in the rear view mirror. Th

e young

man sat in the back of the cab. I found it strange, but

assumed they were having an argument or something.

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I clicked on the meter regardless, fare ticking away as

I drove on, lost in my own thoughts as per usual.

As the journey unfurled, I decided to make

conversation and asked if they had a good night. I

asked the girl fi rst and she said she had had a nice time

out on the town. Out of courtesy I asked the guy in

the back seat.

No response.

I asked again, looking in the rear view.

He had disappeared.

Th

e girl in the front looked very strangely at me

and politely asked who I was talking to. I was a little

taken aback and confused, trying to explain that I had

“thought” someone had got in with her.

In fact, I was almost sure of it!

She asked what he looked like and I explained

as best as I could from what I had seen briefl y in the

mirror. To my surprise, as I went through what detail

I could, she began to cry.

She told me that the person I was describing

sounded like her brother.

It was a big moment for both of us. We had a

connection - a bonding experience if you will……..

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

and I thought it prudent to tell her I was a Psychic

Medium.

We pulled up outside her home and an impromptu

reading just literally occurred. Th

ere was no fanfare.

No huge introduction. It just happened.

Th

ere were images coming through. Flashes of

pictures, video and audio snippets raced in my brain

like a VHS on fast forward. I could see the Prime

Minister and his wife in my head. Without thinking

I asked who Tony was. She seemed shocked at fi rst.

Th

en a jigsaw seemed to come together in her head.

Tony was her brother.

I was doing well.

I asked whether her name was Cherie and she

confi rmed that it was.

Another result.

I went on to explain that her brother was with her

and that he had passed – somehow- on a main road,

which was renowned for its heavy traffi

c and accident

rate.

We spent about and hour talking together and

she said that she had never experienced anything like

what had happened she was very grateful and asked

if her mum could visit with me. I left her my card and

she walked away.

I never heard from her again.

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About 2 years later I did a sitting for some people

in Portsea. During the sitting the boy that had come

with us in the cab had decided to show himself again

and as it turned out his mother was in the room with

us. I relayed the information being received from him

and she confi rmed that Tony was her son. It turned

out that Cherie had misplaced my card and every time

a taxi took her home she would ask the driver if they

knew me. She couldn’t remember my name and it was

diffi

cult to fi nd me as most of the other taxi drivers

had not been told about my ability due to my fear

of some major practical jokes and rib-poking at my

expense.

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Chapter Twenty Two

MAPLE SYRUP

I DID QUITE a few readings in Canada. Some are

worth mentioning here, though it’s safe to say that

however well it went, I was destined to have a high

before I experienced a very deep low!

I did a reading for some friends of Natalie’s

sister.

We sat down and I was impressed with a man

related to one of the guys there, Ben. He confi rmed

that his grandfather had passed away recently and

that the information I gave him was correct. Half

way through the reading a saw a monster truck with a

towing arm on the back. I asked him if his grandfather

had driven monster trucks. He didn’t understand this

and said no. I couldn’t shake this image from my head

so I asked him if his grandfather towed vehicles as a

job. He said no and that he didn’t understand this

connection. After the reading he thanked me and left.

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Jus t in P e a rce

10 minutes later he arrived back at the apartment and

informed us that he needed a ride home as his car had

just been towed away!!!! His grandfather had been

trying to warn us that this was happening the very

minute we were connecting. Th

e importance of this

came to light when Ben went to the towing company

to collect his car and found that – sure enough - it was

taken away by a monster truck with a towing arm on

the back.

I also did a connection for a girl named Dawn.

I got her grandmother through and she confi rmed

all the details I gave. She became so moved by the

experience that she left halfway through the evening

and ran home to tell her family about the reading.

Dawn became a very good friend of mine during my

time in Canada. Helping me through the problems

that I had in my relationship, I want to thank you

Dawn so much. She has a way about her that is so

wonderful. She sat with me one evening in front of

the fi re and told me about an ability she has had as a

child. She could look at someone and tell them about

their personality, likes and dislikes, their fl aws and

their good points. It was amazing listening to her as

she had me off to a tee. Th

en she asked me if I could

teach her to connect. I sat with her and we relaxed

and she was instantly through to my friend Mark.

She gave me all the information about his passing and

told me what he was like and our friendship together.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

It is amazing when someone like Dawn manages to

get over her nerves and contacts someone for the fi rst

time. I miss being around Dawn, so much. She is a

natural medium and will be one of the best in the

world later in life.

One evening I sat watching TV with a man called

Craig. We all lived in the same house. A large 7 bed

roomed property in White Rock, British Columbia. I

had never really spoken to Craig about what I did. He

was a policeman and a very nice guy to talk to. I had a

feeling halfway through the evening that his brother

had passed tragically. He confi rmed that he had and

the reading went from there. It turned out that Craig

and his brother were out sailing one cold day with

2 girlfriends when the boat capsized. Th

ere was not

enough room on the boats keel for four people to hold

on to. As the hours went by they took it in turns to

hold on to the keel, but his brother had no strength to

hold on. He turned to Craig and said that he it would

be better for him to die as he was older than Craig

and he had his whole life ahead of him. Th

ey argued

for a while and then his brother slipped off and went

under the water in front of Craig... Th

ree of them were

eventually picked up at sea and Craig said that he had

never got over the guilt. I said that his brother wanted

him to stop feeling so guilty and that he was fi ne now

and watching over his life from heaven.

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Jus t in P e a rce

I fi nd it amazing that connection can happen

anywhere even when you least expect it. One evening

I was in a bar in Canada when I saw a girl and her

husband sitting opposite us. She was part of a group

of people that Natalie had been invited to join through

friends. I instantly got her mother through. I asked her

whether she was ok and introduced myself to her and

her husband. She asked me if I was the medium that

she had heard so much about. I confi rmed this and she

asked in a funny way whether I had anything for her.

I said that I did and shocked her when I mentioned

that her mother had passed away. It turned out that

her mother was sick and one day she got a little better

and was released from hospital to go home for the day.

She was very upset that she still had to go back to the

hospital so she decided to go shopping. On her way

home she crossed the road outside her house and was

killed by a car. She came through and said that she

didn’t want to die in hospital of cancer but wanted a

quick passing. She had asked upstairs to help her and

then she was run over on her fi rst day out of hospital.

She confi rmed all this and her mother said that she

was happy she had the accident and passed so fast

instead of being in pain for months.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

I was not allowed to smoke in one apartment we

lived in so I used to go downstairs outside the door

and have a cigarette. One morning a man was fi xing

the intercom system. I had just fi nished a reading so

was still very open to contact when all of a sudden a

man came through to me. I thought to myself that

it couldn’t be for the guy mending the door entry

system. But I got to chatting with him anyway. He

heard my accent and asked how long I was in Canada

for and what I was doing here. I explained that I was

a medium and he asked what it was. I told him and he

asked me whether I could feel anything around him,

which you get a lot of when you tell people, and I then

told him about his father. He was very happy once he

had confi rmed the details I gave and he told me that

it was the anniversary of his fathers passing and that

he had been on his mind. He thanked me for helping

him and carried on with the door.

159

Chapter Twenty Th

ree

AMERICAN ENGLISH

I LOVE DOING readings in the United States.

America has always been a love of mine, starting

many years ago and I had always wanted to visit. For

a long time I thought I would never get the chance

but, luckily, I had many opportunities thrown my way

over the last few years and have enjoyed every single

moment spent there.

My Sister, bless her, ended up marrying a great

American guy and moved out there – which meant

even more holidays for me.

What a sister!

A few years back I took a “vacation” stateside to see

Sis and did my fi rst readings out there. She had some

friends over and had proudly told them all that I was

a psychic medium.

Another reason why I love going stateside is that

I fi nd the American people the most welcoming,

friendly people in the world and very open to psychic

phenomena. . I think that the popularity of John

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Edward and similar well-known Psychics have helped

awareness – many, many people have tuned into his

show and others and there seems to be much more of

a cultural acceptance and less cynicism in the states.

Th

e chance to do some readings for my sister’s friends

was an opportunity I leapt at with open arms.

Th

ey also have nicer doughnuts.

We had an informal reading in her lounge with

just a few people. Th

is went very well. A lady called

Jill had a friend come through. She had passed away a

long time ago. When I fi nished the reading, everyone

stayed and had a chat. Th

e people at the reading were

very impressed. Th

ey said that they would tell all their

friends about me.

I returned to America a few months later and the

word had indeed got around about me. I found myself

there for three weeks, averaging six readings a day.

It was an amazing response. It still amazes me the

power of people talking.

Each time I return to the states, I fi nd a bigger

list of people wishing to meet me, all of whom are

extremely open-minded and enthusiastic about what

I do.

It’s a great feeling. ….And, as I mentioned, they

have nicer doughnuts.

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Jus t in P e a rce

I have had many memorable readings across the

water, but I thought it would be a great idea to share

some of the ones that stick in my mind the most.

Two ladies came to see me one afternoon. One was

a friend of my sister and the other, an acquaintance,

called Pam. She had tagged along for what she thought

was a palm or tarot reading. Her friend knew that

she would never come to see a medium as we “types”

scared her and she was apparently a very logical and

sceptical person.

She arrived; we were formally introduced and sat

down. She asked – understandably - what I was going

to do and I told her briefl y how I approach my work.

Once she realised I was a regular guy, she seemed to

warm to the process slightly. It came as a great shock to

her when her son, who had passed away of leukaemia

a few years earlier at a very young age came through.

I pointed out that he was still with her and the fact

that she had kept his room the same. I also mentioned

that she had a picture of him in her handbag and it was

wrapped in a piece of his pyjamas with “Tigger” on it.

She said that I was wrong. She didn’t have this item

in her purse. I persisted, asking her to look. At the

very bottom of her purse, she found it. Th

is all came

as a huge surprise and, of course, it was an emotional

experience for all of us. Afterwards she told me off for

making her cry. She was a real estate agent and was

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

showing people around a house an hour later – now

she had smudged all her makeup.

Damn me and my make-up smudging abilities!

I did a reading one New Year’s Eve at a party in

our friend Mike’s house in Lincoln, California. Mike

had no idea what I did, but after my sister’s husband

had given him a brief explanation, he thought it would

be fun to have some friends over, a few beers and see

what I could do.

During the sitting I was talking to a man and I

had his signifi cant other through. I asked him why the

name “Kelly” was important and he confi rmed that his

surname was indeed Kelly. After a short while I had a

feeling that there had been an accident and someone’s

index fi nger on their left hand had been severed off .

Th

e man and his wife laughed out loud. And then he

took his left hand out of his pocket and his left hand

index fi nger was missing after an accident involving a

saw at work.

I then went on to Mike. His father came through

with lots of information – even to the point of

mentioning nicknames. I mentioned to Mike that

he had got up in the middle of the night three days

before and he had been bouncing against the walls in

his hall trying to get to the kitchen. He was having

an asthma attack and had to get his inhalers out of

the cupboard where he kept them His girlfriend a

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Jus t in P e a rce

few days before had had a cleanup and had moved

them from one cupboard to another. He was feeling

around in the dark when suddenly behind the regular

cupboard one of the other doors opened on its own.

He walked over to it and he found his medication.

His father had opened the door so he could fi nd it. In

the early hours of the morning, one night Mike had

been asleep and was awoken to a noise in the corner of

his bedroom. He looked up to see his father standing

by a nightstand that he used to own and was now in

Mike’s bedroom. He saw him draw in the dust on it

and Mike thought this was a dream when he awoke

the next morning. When he got up, he walked over to

the night stand and there was a message written that

said I love you and also a smiling face.

I was invited over one day to some friends of my

sisters to do a reading for the whole family. I was

collected by a lady called Natasha and her sister

in law who had fl own in from Los Angeles to visit.

Her grandfather was also there and they gave me a

beer and had fed me an amazing lunch before hand.

After the lunch I sat down and could not for the life

of me get anyone through. I tried so hard as I felt

that they had been so nice to me inviting me over.

But nothing happened. I felt so guilty. I asked to be

driven home after a few hours. On the drive home I

suddenly got lots of spirit connections whilst sitting

in the van. I got very confused though because I had a

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

grandmother come through but she was showing me

two grandmothers with the same name and also two

sons with the same name. I asked them about this and

they both said that they had grandmothers that had

passed with the same names and they also both had

brothers with the same name and problems in life.

It was a very moving experience for Natasha and she

nearly crashed the van on the way home. We must

have looked a strange sight sitting by the side of the

road in tears.

165

Chapter Twenty Four

TAXI TALES TWO

AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

ONE SATURDAY AFTERNOON I picked up a couple

from the train station and began to drive them home.

We were half way through the journey. Th

e gentleman

and his lady friend were chatting away as I drove

through town. Quite suddenly, the chatting stopped

and the lady started screaming at the top of her lungs. I

stopped the taxi as quick as I could. Which as most of

you are aware that when a taxi stops, its stops. Mostly

winding anyone, up who happens to be following one.

I turned to see what the commotion was in my cab.

Th

e man was having a heart attack.

I jumped out, scrambling to get to the rear of the

car and fl ung open the door. I had no idea what I was

going to do yet, but I knew I had to do something.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

I shouted out for someone to phone an ambulance

and frantically checked for a pulse. He died before I

had even got the car door open.

I had gone through a fi rst aid course a few months

prior and luckily was able to put this knowledge to

good use. Th

is was ironic seeing as the guy who ran

the course had told us we would probably never ever

get a chance to put our newly found skills into practise.

Mmmmm!!!

I ripped open his shirt and saw a scar running along

the length of his chest. It didn’t fi ll me with confi dence.

Obviously he’d already had some trouble with his

heart and he lay in front of me on the pavement.

A crowd of people had gathered around us and I

asked if someone could breathe into his mouth whilst

I did compressions on his chest. A kind man stood

up to the challenge and we timed out eff orts as best

we could. It was a strange feeling. It felt like we were

working on the resuscitation dummy at the centre.

Although the events taking place consumed our

attention, I felt something else around me - something

important.

I looked up to fi nd that not only were there people

watching me, but several spirits were intermingled

with the crowd.

I don’t know how I recognised them to be spirits

but they were spurring me on - urging me to keep going

until the ambulance arrived. I made the best eff ort I

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Jus t in P e a rce

could, even though I thought it would be useless - my

adrenalin pumping at full force.

Th

e Ambulance arrived promptly and I helped to

put him on a gurney. Th

ey got to work using those

paddles you see on TV shows to get his heart started.

Th

ey checked for a pulse and thanks to their eff orts

they found one. After loading him into the ambulance

they took my details and the last ambulance driver

gave me a quick hug

I couldn’t help but cry like a total sap.

Th

e emotion was too much.

I never did fi nd out whether the gentleman

survived or not, they must have got my details mixed

up, but no matter - it is still the biggest most amazing

thing I have ever done.

168

Chapter Twenty Five

CAROLINES HOUSE

MY FRIEND CAROLINE from work asked me to

do a reading at her fl at in Paulsgrove and I accepted.

Th

ere were about 7 people there and I was asked to

do one on one connections. I sat in Caroline’s front

room at a table and the people came through one

by one. Th

e fi rst lady came in and asked me for a

future reading. I told her that I didn’t do those. She

looked very disappointed. After sometime her father

came through. He started with his details for her to

confi rm. She didn’t seem very interested at all in what

he was giving me as proof of him coming through.

He then said to me very clearly that he was going

to tell her a few things that were going to happen to

her. He told me that she never listened to him when

he was her dad here, so she had better bloody well

listen now. He mentioned that her life was to take

a dramatic course unless she changed her lifestyle

dramatically. He had told her that she was to stop

spending so much on her credit cards, especially in the

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Jus t in P e a rce

run up to Christmas. Th

ere was also a warning that

she would lose her job in a re- structure. He told me

that she wasn’t treating her partner at all well and he

would be ready to leave around Christmas time and

she was to have an unplanned pregnancy if she didn’t

sort her contraception out. I told her she could start

by tearing up her credit cards and to make a deal with

the companies. Also, to go home and be more attentive

to her boyfriend, fi nd a new job now, as it was the

summer she had plenty of time before Christmas. And

lastly to sort her contraception!

About a year later I got a phone call from the

lady that had the reading asking me to come back.

I sat down to do a reading and a heavily pregnant

lady walked in and I immediately recognized her as

the lady from the last summer. She then went on to

explain that she had indeed spent a fortune towards

Christmas time. She had lost her job and hadn’t looked

for another one. She was, as I could see, very pregnant

and she was so poor now and having trouble with the

credit card companies and her boyfriend had left her

because she hadn’t made any eff ort at changing her

ways. I hate to be the one that had and I told you so

t shirt on. But spirit is never wrong. If they intervene

that much, LISTEN!

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Now back to Caroline’s house. An older lady then

sat with me. I started to chat with her about what

she could expect from me in a reading when all of a

sudden a gentleman turned up and kept on talking

about the old records in the loft and she wasn’t to sell

them. I gave her this information. She looked at me in

complete shock. Her husband had passed recently and

she had come to see me especially to fi nd out about

her husband. She had even asked spirit earlier that

day for him to come through to me that night. She

had indeed decided to sell all their old records that

they enjoyed together and had bought over a space of

around 40 years of marriage. Th

ey were in the loft and

she had got them down before she was due to move to

a smaller house. She had decided to sell them to make

more room.

Another lady came in the room and sat in front

of me with her arms crossed and just glared at me. I

started to tell her what to expect from the connection.

Th

at she may not hear from the person she wants

to hear from. She then interrupted me and told me

that she was a very good medium and that I wouldn’t

be very good at my job if I didn’t get her husband

through. I just sat there completely shocked. What

a thing to say to someone. I couldn’t care less how

good a medium she was. I will connect with anyone

that comes through for her. She couldn’t pick and

choose. I was very close to kicking her arse out of

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Jus t in P e a rce

the room. She was really annoying me off . I then

felt someone’s presence in the corner of the room but

he wasn’t coming forward. I asked for him to make

himself known to me. I then heard him say that he

didn’t want to come forward as he had nothing to say

to her. I then thought, sod it and told her that I had a

gentleman in the corner of the room. I then described

him from a picture he was showing in my head. Th

en

I told her that he didn’t want to speak to her. She

got very angry and walked out of the room. She then

proceeded to tell everyone in the other room that I was

rubbish and a waste of time. Unbelievable! I wasn’t

even charging anyone at that time either. So it did

annoy me rather a lot! I then felt Jason, my brother

come through. He told me to carry on with the next

lady in line and not get wound up by that lady. He

then said, “Let’s show her how it’s really done”.

Th

e next lady to arrive was around my age so I

felt

a little more settled. After a chat with her I then

tried to start a connection. But I just couldn’t seem to

get my annoyance over the last reading out of my head.

I stopped the reading and explained about the previous

sitter. She listened to me rant for about 10 minutes

about how annoyed I was at a so called medium telling

me who I should be connecting with. In the middle

of another spout about what she had said to the other

ladies the same gentleman that stood in the corner

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

came rushing forward and said hello to the sitter. I

told her that he had come forward and that he was the

same man who wouldn’t come forward to the previous

lady. I then told her some things about him and she

confi rmed this to be her father. I then asked her why

he would have come through for the horrible woman

before her. She fl inched a little in her seat and then

laughed. She then told me the reason. Th

e last sitter

was her Mum. And yes, she was a pain in the arse.

I was so embarrassed. I made lot of apologies about

calling her mum all those things. I think I swallowed

plenty of humble pie. But she then went on to agree

with what I was saying. Her mum was a medium and

fortune teller. She had told her mum that she felt

she had the ability. Her mum had then told her that

she didn’t and that she was the only medium in the

family. She then told me that she intended to go back

to her mum and everyone else and tell them what an

amazing medium I was.

A few days later I got a letter from the daughter

to explain that she had gone back into the room with

all the other people. Th

ey were all talking about how

amazing I was. Her mum had told her that I was

rubbish and wasn’t a medium like her at all. She said

that she disagreed with her and told her that her father

had come through for her and said that he didn’t want

to talk to his wife at all. Th

is made everyone who knew

her laugh. It also helped her come to terms with the

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Jus t in P e a rce

fact that she can fi nally after all these years disagree

with what her mum says. She found the courage to

argue with her mums views.

174

Chapter Twenty Six

TAXI TALES THREE

BABY BOOM

ONE EVENING, WHILST working at the Guildhall

in Portsmouth, I sat on the rank in my cab and a

doorman came over from the club opposite. He

wanted a lift home after a long shift and got in the

front seat. I knew him as we had said hello on quite a

few occasions before.

On the way home he asked if it was true that I was

a medium. I confi rmed this with him. He laughed and

said that he didn’t believe in much of that c**p (as

he put it). He then asked me to tell him about some

of the readings I had done. After telling him about

some of the connections I had done recently, he then

informed me that I was talking s**t. I wasn’t about

to argue with a 6’5” man built like an outdoor privy.

But after a while I thought, no way, He is an ordinary

man and I’m up for a challenge. I decided to connect

to spirit when we stopped outside his house. A small

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man came through and told me he was his grandfather

and that he had passed away around a year before.

He also informed me that the doorman’s girlfriend

was currently pregnant and she was expecting a girl.

He had also recently been to his grandfather’s grave

as it had just been the anniversary of his grandfathers

passing.

I gave him the information I was receiving wincing!

He just sat in the taxi and stared at me. I honestly

thought he was going to either run away or punch my

lights out. But, to my surprise he just burst into tears.

He confi rmed that his grandfather had passed. He

had just been to the grave a couple of days before. His

girlfriend was pregnant and they were hoping for a

girl. It was quite strange to see a huge man in his line

of tough work crying in the front of my taxi. But it was

also an amazing experience for both of us.

He has now told me after several conversations

that he was always a fi rm believer in the after life.

He was hoping that he got a message from me and

had actually made a point of getting in my taxi that

night. He had hoped that his grandfather would come

through. He told me that he felt he needed to keep up

the hard man persona just to test me and my ability.

A few months later his girlfriend had the baby girl

that he wanted.

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Th

at same night I got a call on my mobile. It was

from a friend of mine. He wanted to be picked up

from Gunwharf Quays in Portsmouth. Gunwharf is

a brand new shopping centre with bars and clubs that

had just opened in Portsmouth.

My friend had been out for a meal with his wife

and in-laws. I collected them all and took his in-laws

home fi rst. We then started to drive to his home

in Waterlooville which is about 8 miles outside of

Portsmouth. On the way back his wife was asking me

about how my connections were coming along and

whether or not I wouldn’t mind coming around to

her house one day to do a reading for her family. I

had no problems with this as I will read anyone that

asked nicely.

After a couple of miles I was interrupted by spirit.

I tried to shake it off because sometimes it can be

very diffi

cult concentrating on driving and trying to

understand the images I am receiving from the crew

upstairs. But this one was a strong one. So I waited

until we got to their house. I then informed her that

I had someone with me. I couldn’t tell her who it was

as they weren’t giving me any information like that. I

thought it was a little odd as it’s usually someone that

wants to confi rm to their family or friends that they

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are ok. All I heard from this one was that my friend’s

wife was pregnant.

I then went on to tell her this. She said that they

hadn’t been trying for a baby, although they did want

one. Th

ey had a 2 year old boy already and another

child had been talked about but not planned. My

friend, who still thinks what I do is way too weird,

informed me of the fact that I was freaky and gave me

a look that I have received from him many times over.

I then wished them goodnight and left to go back to

the Saturday nights work.

About two months later I picked up my friends

from Gunwharf. One of my friends then told my other

friend to tell me his news. I asked him what he needed

to tell me. He said I was freaky and weird and gave me

that look again. I asked him what was going on.

His wife was pregnant.

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Chapter Twenty Seven

THE CATS WHISKERS

I DID A reading in Wales for a lady called Lynn.

Her husband had passed. I had previously done

a reading for Lynn’s niece who lived in a place called

Whitely near Fareham, Hants. At the time, her uncle

Keith had come through. Th

e connection was very

strong and she was able to confi rm everything that had

been said without question or need for clarifi cation (I

love reading like that)!

As it turned out, I was going to be visiting my Dad

in Whitland, Carmarthenshire, and the following

week she wondered if it was possible for me to get in

contact with her Aunt and do a private sitting for her

- she lived a few miles away from my dad in Tenby.

Of course, it was no problem and I drove over one

evening where she met me outside her home. It was a

beautiful large house that would at one time have been

a hotel right on the seafront. She had a warm smile

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and welcomed me like we had known each other for

many years.

I liked her immediately - a wonderful woman with

a great heart. She had lost her husband recently and,

even with the bubbly persona, I could see and feel the

strain she was under. It was as if she was just going

through the motions.

We decided that it would be an excellent idea to

go to her husband’s club, where they used to socialize

together with all their friends, to do the reading. I was

introduced to many of them and we settled down at

the bar for a chat.

I was immediately impressed by an image of her

husband. He came through quite strong from the

outset and talked about his time with her, how he

passed and that he was greatly missed by his beloved

wife. I asked her whether or not she had some kind

of fi nancial problem linked with his passing. She

confi rmed that he had changed credit cards just before

his sudden, unexpected passing. Th

e credit card that

he had moved to didn’t have insurance attached to it,

so in the unlikely event of his death the card would

still have to be paid in full. He confi rmed all this to

me and passed to Lynn that everything would be okay

with this debt and that he was sorting it out. She asked

how, but he wouldn’t say anymore on the subject. He

also pointed out that one of the cats had gone missing

and that he was to be found in the back of a shed in

an alley really close to the house. She confi rmed this

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in amazement and went on to explain that they had

looked everywhere for this cat and it had been at least

two weeks since he was last seen.

Once the connection had been completed, she

thanked me and asked me to keep in touch.

A few weeks later she phoned me at home in a

state of shock. She said that they had indeed found

the cat. He was a little worse for the wear. But okay.

He had indeed been hiding out in a shed at the end on

an alleyway. He had been there for a few weeks and

was starving.

She also told me that balance on the credit card her

husband had mentioned was roughly two thousand

pounds and of course she had been very worried that

she couldn’t aff ord to pay it. A few days after I left

Wales she had a phone call from an insurance company

looking for her husband. He had a strange surname

and they had been trying to track him down. He had

a small insurance policy with them and that it was to

pay out at that time - it was worth exactly £2000.

She was just amazed and shocked as one might

expect. I pointed out that spirit know all these things

and in most cases will make good on there promises.

Th

ey are never wrong and they should be fully trusted

in these matters. Th

e power of spirit sometimes still

shocks even me.

And the cat was okay

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Chapter Twenty Eight

TAXI TALES FOUR

WHERE WRENS DARE

ONE SATURDAY I was working in the town centre

and four lovely ladies got into my taxi. Th

ey were all

in the Royal Navy; they were on shore leave and were

looking to go out on the town so we headed off to the

nightclub area in Southsea.

On the journey I had a feeling of sadness around

one of the girls and was immediately impressed with

a picture of her mother.

We got to the centre of town and the conversation

in the back went around to the fact that there was a

medium doing a show at the Wedgewood rooms.

“He’s a taxi driver. Do you know him?” One of the

girls asked.

“Um ...Yes,” I replied, “You could say that!”

After explaining that it was me, they asked me if

I could do them a personal reading. I agreed to this,

but asked if they would like to come to the show.

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Unfortunately, they were on deployment on that night

and couldn’t come.

As they got out, I gave them a card with my

telephone number on. I turned to the last girl emerging

from the back seat, Sonya. I mentioned that her mother

was with her. She started to cry and we chatted for a

short time whilst she confi rmed the details that I gave

her. Th

e girls were very pleased - I would do a personal

reading for them and they would call at the end of

their deployment when all the girls would be free.

About 6 months went by and I hadn’t heard from

them, forgetting the whole incident. One Saturday

night I Passed the Naval base and decided to go to

the taxi rank in Edinburgh Road. I never normally use

that rank as it was a busy night and I would normally

used the Guildhall where the action was. For some

reason, I took a last minute turn and drove to this

rank instead.

Four girls got in and I asked where they were

going. Th

en one of them gasped very audibly, to the

point where I assumed she sat on a feather. She asked

if I was Justin. It was the Navy “Wrens” I had picked

up six months ago and that they had been out all day

and over lunch had all decided that it was now time to

call me for a personal reading.

We worked out the details and it was booked.

I went round to sit for 8 people and Sonya’s

mother came through straight away and gave her lots

of information to confi rm this. She had passed away

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earlier that year of cancer and Sonya had taken on

the role of mother to her niece and had been very

brave. She confi rmed all this information and I went

on to do a few more readings. At the end of the last

reading I asked her if she wouldn’t mind talking to

me privately as I had some information for her to

confi rm that her mother was still around her that

may embarrass her. She told me that she didn’t get

embarrassed easily and I could tell everyone. Well

her mother then went on to say that she knew about

the Rampant Rabbits!!!!! I knew this was a massage

device of a – shall we say - private nature. Eight red

faces later and Sonya explained that they had shown

the said “device” to their friend about an hour before

I arrived as her friend wanted one after splitting from

her boyfriend.

I’m not sure who was more embarrassed - them or

me. Sonya’s mum had been there at the time and had

seen them messing around.

Sonya and I are now very close friends and I would

like to thank her for being brave enough to let me tell

this story.

I know I wouldn’t!

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Chapter Twenty Nine

COLIN

I FIRST MET Colin at a friend’s house. I was called by

my mother and asked if I would go round to her friends

house a do a reading for her and her family. I agreed

as anything for mum. If I didn’t do anything for her

she would get the hump. And you never ever want to

do that to my mum, trust me! I arrived at her friend’s

house and immediately felt a really heavy weight on

my shoulders. I just didn’t feel right. She had a lovely

home and I have met her a few times. She is one of the

funniest people I have met. She is always laughing and

joking. When I went into the kitchen she greeted me

with a huge smile and thanked me for coming. I had

a chat with her about her family and friends and had

a laugh with her and her daughter. We went into the

living room with a beer and carried on chatting. She

managed to clear the air a little but I still felt really

uncomfortable. Th

en the reason I felt bad walked into

the room. Th

ere was an instant drop in temperature

with this gentleman. I just felt like crying. It was an

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energy that just smelt of loss, horrendously of despair.

I noticed as well that a young girl walked into the

room behind him. I could feel her sit down next to him

and put her hand on his shoulder. She then smiled at

me and I asked him whether he knew this girl.

Colin had lost his daughter a few months before

to Meningitis. She was 13 years old and called Lizzie.

She had got home from school on the Friday with a

bad headache. She passed away on Sunday. I just felt

total despair for this man. I suppose I felt angry at

spirit for the fi rst time. I have never blamed upstairs

for anything about taking people over to spirit before.

But found myself really annoyed for this man. His

daughter was his best friend and all he had since the

break-up of his marriage from her mother. Th

ey spent

lots of time together with his son too and they had

bonded so well. (Unlike a lot of teenage daughters and

fathers). It just seemed so unfair. I did the connection

and got a lot of validation from him. She came through

with things like the fact that she would borrow his

socks with the England fl ag on the side. She would

return them a few days later smelling really bad. His

mood lightened a little whilst remembering that she

had really badly smelling feet. She also brought up lots

of information about what signs she was showing the

rest of the family that had gathered. She pointed out

to her young cousin, Casey that she had a photograph

of them both together. She pointed out the date on the

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

side of the photo. All the information was confi rmed.

Th

is was a very strong connection and also a much

needed one.

She then smiled and left the room. I looked over

at Colin and he was smiling. Th

e whole atmosphere in

the room had lifted. It was at that point that I realised

that the happiness was from Lizzie in spirit because

she had an understanding, like all spirit does, about

the reasons they have to go. Th

e despair was from

Colin as to why she had to be taken.

Colin once told me that before Lizzie had passed

over to spirit, he was a very selfi sh person. Who, like

most of us here, based his life on what he could achieve

fi nancially and materialistically. He told me that he

was driving home a couple of weeks after our reading

and saw a man in a new Mercedes soft top. He had a

new suit, sunglasses, and was talking on his mobile

phone and looking around him for people to look at

him to see what he had achieved. Colin said that he

looked at the man and realised that all of it meant

nothing. His daughter was gone and where once

he had wanted the things he saw in the man in the

Mercedes, now all he wanted was his daughter back.

It meant nothing to him anymore.

I have spoken to lots of people who have been like

Colin before they have lost someone. I think it does

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put life’s wants and needs into perspective. Why do we

insist on chasing the ‘all mighty dollar’ for things that

we feel we need? Why do we need a huge house in the

country and lots of smart expensive cars? As long as

we have family and friends and most of all love, then

that is all we need to get by. Without the love of my

family, I would have lost it years ago. Th

ey have helped

me in so many diff erent ways over the years that I can’t

count all the love they have dished out.

Colin has now found out after my reading and

several others by some great mediums that he too has

ability for spirit contact. He has decided that when

the time is right he will learn how to heal people. He

has told me that he wishes to help fathers who have

lost children to come to terms with their own personal

pain. I know he will do well at this. Lizzie has told me

that this is what he has to do. She has also told Colin

that her passing will not cause pain, but will aff ect

healing for so many others.

Colin and I are now fi rm friends. We help each

other. We once went for a drive at 3am. Just for a

chat. We went to Rowland’s Castle in Hampshire

which is right out in the countryside. As we drove

we talked about death of the body and what happens

to us and where we go. We talked about seeing and

understanding signs received. Th

ere was a full moon.

I stopped the car and we were just amazed as in front

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

of us 30 or 40 deer ran across the road. Colin looked

at me and said, “Th

at’s a message from Lizzie”. She is

happy and safe. Is that what it’s like in Heaven?

You know, I think it is.

189

S E C T I O N F O U R

Questions

and Answers

Th

is last section is my interpretation of questions

I receive both from audiences and e-mails.

During my meetings where I demonstrate my

ability, I cover lots of aspects of spirit connection and

what happens to us when we pass over. Both through

the explanation of the process and also my own

philosophy of how the process works. It’s mostly a

few things I have picked up over the years. Both from

spirit and books I have read. Th

ey have taught me a

great deal about what happens when you pass over and

why we exist at all. Also, why life is so hard and what

we have to gain from it.

Jus t in P e a rce

I hope you gain a little more knowledge from these

answers to help you understand a little more about

how this all works.

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What happens when we pass over?

AT THE MOMENT of body death, the spirit removes

itself out of the body. It is still attached to the body

through the chest area with a silver cord. Th

e sprit

then snaps the cord and is met by a bright light.

Sometimes the spirit will hang around the room. In

the case of near death experience, of course it is still

attached as the cord hasn’t been broken yet. Th

e spirit

will then watch over its body. Th

e spirit will, after an

undetermined time be told by their guides that it’s

not time and will wait and watch until the body is

brought back to life and at that point the spirit then

re-enters . Th

e moment we pass we release from our

bodies and go on a kind of train journey. We leave

behind on one platform, all the people we have known

in this life and then when we get to the platform on

the other side, and we are met by people who have

passed on before us. When we are ready we are shown

a kind of movie based on what we have achieved in this

lifetime, also what we have done good and bad. Th

e

bad is not judged but we feel how the people that we

wronged felt. It supposed to be a pretty horrible thing

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Jus t in P e a rce

to experience our negativity towards people and our

negative actions. We feel everything through every

part of our soul. If you have done nothing but spread

love and happiness through this life, then you feel that

love and appreciation. But if you have been a negative

person. I.e. racist, sexist etc you feel how those people

felt about you and the hurt you caused. None of us are

Angels on Earth but we can do a lot to condition our

minds and souls into not being negative. Next time

you feel negativity towards someone, maybe because

of their race or sexual orientation or just that they

seem less educated than you or even odd in some way,

please remember that any of those thoughts are felt

by you when you pass. Th

ese people have feelings.

Th

ey are spirit just like you. Th

ey have the same type

of blood as you do. Th

eir feelings can be hurt just as

much as yours can by your actions.

Who are your guides?

YOUR GUIDES ARE spirits that have chosen to work

with you during your life here... Some have lived here

with you or with others before. Some have never lived

on the earth plane. Someone once asked me why the

top guides are usually Red Indians or monks etc. It

does take a long time to become versed in life and

I have been told it’s a wonderful experience being a

guide. I think that it takes a long time to learn from

various lifetimes to be able to help others in their life.

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Your guides can be anyone from any walk of life. You

have any amount of guidance from experts versed

in any fi eld of expertise for any type of problem you

may encounter during your lifetime. You have your

main guides who will be higher being on a diff erent

level of consciousness to the other guides. I think it’s

kind of like the yellow pages in a way. (Not belittling

it or your intelligence here!). If you need a plumber

for a job in your bathroom you would pick up the

yellow pages and call a plumbing company. Th

e Head

Offi

ce of the plumbing company then would call a

plumber from their company that would then come

round and sort out your leak. Well, guides are the

same. When you need a decision to be made then

the higher guides “head offi

ce”, I like to call them,

contact the lower guides and they then come to your

aid. Th

ey may be in your life for a few seconds to steer

you on the right course. Or they may need to stay

for a while longer maybe to help you meet someone

that will become your partner in life. Or some will

be with you from the day you’re born to make sure

that you’re towing the line. In Some lives, the guides

never get any acknowledgement from the spirit within

you. Some people just don’t believe or are not open to

the process of spirituality enough to realise that they

have any guidance at all. Although how many times

have you heard someone say, after an accident that

they were being looked after on that day? Well, they

were. I have heard stories of having the most horrifi c

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accidents and not even bruising themselves. I am sure

that they have had forewarning of some kind that they

were going to

have an accident and their guides have almost,

broken their fall. I had a motorcycle accident in

September 1992 where I broke my leg. I should have

died that day by rights. I have hit the car in front so

hard and my head hit the back of the boot. I fl ew back

30 feet and landed in a heap. I should have died. But,

I believe that my guides, Jason and Mark were there

to help me.

What is Fate?

BEFORE YOU ARRIVE from spirit you set out a

blueprint for your life. You have lessons to learn in

this lifetime and have a connection with your guides

through it. Kind of like a GPS tracking system. You

set the destination and the places you want to visit in

between. You set the course and the computer then

tells you which way to go the easiest and quickest

route. But as with anything, sometimes human will

takes over and you deviate from the blue print. Guides

then step in as the computer does and sends you

right back where you should have turned. Th

at’s why

sometimes you make a decision and go for it. And

after a couple of months you may regret that decision

or feel like you are taking one step forward and two

steps back. Th

e two steps back are your guides putting

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you back where you started from. So if you feel that

you’re starting over again all the time. Enjoy it. Take

it all on the chin because it’s the guide’s way of putting

you back on track. You may not like the track that

you’re on. But YOU chose it and it’s always seems to

work out in the end.

What happens when someone dies tragically?

NO MATTER HOW tragically someone passes, it is

part of that spirits own destiny because of a kind of

blueprint they have made before they arrive here from

spirit. You work out yourself that you will pass on a

certain day at a certain time and in what circumstances

the spirit has chosen, and also when you hope that you

have learned all the lessons you need to. Because your

spirit is aware of that time. If you were to pass over in a

car wreck, the spirit jumps from the wreck just before

the wreck happens. Your body is then without spirit

and can not feel any pain. Once you reach the other

side, sometimes it is still a shock to the system and I

believe that you are looked after and helped with the

transition.

What happens when someone dies after a long illness?

THE PAIN IS gone. When someone is very ill their

spirit leaves their body periodically getting ready for

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the time when it will fi nally go. I believe they feel

no pain and that they have seen what lies ahead of

them and the spirit can start healing from within the

body inside while the body is deteriorating. It’s a very

hard thing to witness this for anyone here. We have

each individually decided on the way we are to pass

over and what we need to learn from each life and

death of that life. It’s so very hard for people here to

understand why some people need to suff er so much.

But I believe its all part of some Karmic master plan.

It’s hard to not want to help that person cross over and

end their suff ering here. But this is something that

must never happen. It’s all part of the universal plan.

I don’t personally understand it as you won’t until you

eventually pass over. I have been told that if ever you

become seriously ill, you have to let it run its course

for whatever reasons you set out before arriving here.

Do we come back?

YES, MANY TIMES over.

Th

ink of our bodies as a car. When it’s born it’s all

shiny and new. You drive around in it feeling very proud

of it for a few years. Th

en as the years go by you tend to

take it for granted a bit. Some people will maybe crash

it a couple of times and some will write it off . Others

may check the oil occasionally. After a while the car

gets old and you are driving it around things are going

wrong and its falling apart at the seams. You decide

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it’s on its last legs and you scrap it. When you get out

of that car - you’re the same!!!! You’re the same driver

as when you fi rst drove it, just little wiser. Well that’s

the soul, the driver is the soul and your body is the

car. Your soul has learned lessons of the road and once

you have scrapped the body then its time soon after to

get a new one!!!!! Th

e human spirit is the driver and

it gets wiser over the years. A man got into my taxi

once and we were talking about our bodies. He said

that some people had Ferrari bodies. Th

ey polished

them everyday. Raced them every now and again and

serviced them regularly and put the most expensive

fuel and oil in them and showed off to people at the

side of the road, making them stare... Some people

have Fords. Scream them around for a few years at

100 miles an hour, crash a few times but they have

had loads of fun. A bit non-descript and had no one

looking at them in wonder. But, as with all cars they

get scrapped eventually. Just like the human body. I

thought this was an excellent way to look at life and

the soul. If you’re supposed to be very fl ash and good

looking in life then great. But if your non descript or

maybe, in some peoples eyes, odd. Th

en whatever,

it’s none of anyone else’s business. As long as you are

enjoying your life and you have people around you that

care for you. Th

en I think that’s a life more fulfi lled.

Most of all, you may not have to come back here again

if you live life to its fullest. It’s how you get on with life

that matters, not how you look externally. As long as

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you never hurt anyone else in this life and you show

love and understanding and are non-judgemental to

anyone you will be ok. I believe that we all return over

and over until we have learned our lessons. Th

e lessons

are diff erent everytime we come here. We may be rich

in one life and poor in another. We need to experience

everything. One life we may be someone that infl icts

pain on people and another we have to know what’s

it’s like, to have that pain infl icted upon ourselves. It’s

about balance. We have to learn to be more ‘God Like’

in our lives. It’s about learning who we are and what

the world is about. It’s about embracing spirituality

within our selves and giving it back to others. We

need to go through so many lives to get it right. Each

time we come back here, which happens to be the best

place to learn, we erase our external memory. Our soul

keeps everything within its own memory. So we then

can start over and try to get it right. We have told our

guides of our plans and they then help us along the

road to getting it right this time. Every now and again

someone will have a memory of a past life. I think this

is for a reason. We sometimes need to remember what

we did before to rectify what we are doing this time.

Th

at’s why some people have past life regression and it

helps them come to terms with why they feel certain

things in this lifetime.

Reincarnation has been scientifi cally proved

beyond reasonable doubt by the amazing works of

Professor Ian Stevenson of the University of Virginia.

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He has gone through several thousand case studies

and proved it. If you get a chance buy the book “Th

e

Children who have Lived Before” It’s amazing and just

goes to prove that we do come back. But again, please

believe in what you want and separate what you don’t

need.

Miscarriage/Abortion?

I HAVE HAD experience of this and it never gets easier

to understand why after the joy of fi nding out you’re

going to have a baby that the baby dies and you feel

lost and have so many questions. Spirit has helped me

when my ex wife had a miscarriage, in understanding

why this had to happen. A spirit, once the blueprint

is sorted and once it’s chosen its new parents, it then

sometimes jumps in and out of the body growing

inside to check in on its progress. Sometimes the body

may have problems and it decides that it’s not the

right body to jump into or the circumstances in the

parent’s life it’s not the right time. I also think that

in abortion the mother has no say in what happens.

It’s all meant to be and the spirit infl uences how the

outcome of the pregnancy is going to unfold. It’s not

the mothers fault. It’s whatever they and the new spirit

have to learn in this lifetime. I believe that the spirit

then decides whether to come along later, as with most

people, you fi nd that they have had a miscarriage and

then had a full term pregnancy. Th

e spirit may decide

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that it’s going to be born to a close member of the

family. It can still then take part in that person’s life

but in a diff erent way, a diff erent angle. I believe that

a the spirit literally arrives in the body of a baby the

moment of birth... It’s the reason why some babies cry

when they are born. Th

e spirit has been shocked into

the body and is thinking “Oh no, not this again” But

also that’s why some babies don’t cry and just look

around them. Th

ey are seasoned pros at life and have

decided to come back for maybe one last time and

they look at you as if to say “come on then, let’s get on

with it” How many times have you heard someone say

“Th

at baby has been here before”? Th

ey have.

My child has an imaginary friend?

MOST CHILDREN WHO have imaginary friends

are actually in contact with spirit. Th

ese imaginary

friends are not as made up as parents want to believe.

Children are new from spirit. Th

ey are closer to it

than us and are acutely more aware. Th

ey don’t know

not to question that a spirit may be in their company

and talking to them, because to them this is perfectly

natural. You should talk to your children about

their friends. Ask them who they are talking to and

ask questions about them. I think you will be very

surprised. But as with grandparents, you need to spend

more time trying to understand by asking questions. If

you ask you’re four year old for instance “what was it

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like before you were born” then you may be surprised

to hear from them a detailed account of what it was

like in spirit? I remember holding a newborn once and

looking into his eyes and seeing in my head how long

he planned before he came here. And got and answer

straight away. 14 months. It freaked me out a bit to

hear this voice in my head coming from his spirit. It

was amazing. Th

ere are a few books you can buy on

this subject. Be more open to what your children are

saying it’s an amazing experience.

What is Déjà vu?

THERE ARE MANY forms of this. I think sometimes

we catch up on ourselves. Hence someone will say

something to you and its snaps in your mind that you

have heard them say that before in the same context

at that exact time. It has to do with your spirit having

gone on ahead while you sleep to see that your life is

going in the direction that you have set it. So it can

move you in that direction when you awaken. Th

at’s

why some dreams come true. Because your dreams are

a product of what has happened that day, or a few days

past and also can sometimes predict what’s going to

happen. Th

e spirit goes forward and checks out what

is going on in your near future and then comes back

with the information which then becomes a memory

to you. It’s also like when you go somewhere and you

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swear that you have been there before. You probably

have in diff erent lifetime.

What happens to a child when he or she passes?

WHEN A CHILD passes it goes straight to an area

in heaven where it is looked after by family that have

passed before or wiser spirits or spirit nannies that

take care of him/her. Also a child will grow up in

heaven and will go to school and learn more about

life than we could ever learn here. Its because of the

innocence of a child it will feel no pain when its passes

and will be helped every step of the way. Th

ey also

have no personal judgement.

My dog/cat has died, does it go to heaven?

WHEN A DOG or cat passes away its spirit will stay

wherever it was most happy. Normally it will stay with

its master and live around you as this is its personal

heaven. As I have said in an earlier chapter, my dogs

came to see me in a dream and they were running

around in the woods playing. Losing a pet is one of

the hardest things that anyone has to go through.

But as with all spirit, whether animal or human, you

choose the people you want to be with and then stay

with them after they have passed because that’s where

they were at their happiest. Also, that’s why cats and

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dogs sometimes inexplicably seem to have a fi t and

do strange things around you like running around

or barking at nothing you can see... Th

ey can feel the

presence of the other animal.

Where do we go?

I THINK IT’S diff erent for everyone. Every person

has his or her personal heaven once you have passed

through one level of consciousness. Th

is level is the

one that you go to when we have just passed over. We

are met by our friends and family that have passed

on before us. We are then shown our own movie, a

kind of story of our life. We then fi nd out what we

have learned from that incarnation and decide where

and what we are going to do next. We then go to a

higher level which is our own personal heaven. We can

select where we want to live, who we want to live with

and build our own space. We can also go to places

that have been built for us. Like schools and libraries.

Th

ere are also concert halls. Whatever you enjoyed

doing on earth you can do in heaven. But, most of

the things we enjoy here are physical i.e., smoking,

drinking and gambling. After a while we lose these

vices and do what we have always enjoyed doing. Our

souls are made of love and the best kind of love is

spending time with our families and friends. We then

after a while, decide whether we are going to come

back to learn. So we can either stay behind or choose

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someone to guide. Or we can help others to cross over

when they pass. We can also decide whether we want

to come back and learn. Sometimes it takes years to

come back. Or rather it seems to take years to us. But

time and space is diff erent upstairs. It doesn’t exist. So

what may feel like hundreds of years to us it could feel

like two years to them.

What are Soul Mates and will I ever meet mine?

SOUL MATES ARE spirit that has decided to walk

and learn throughout diff erent lifetimes with you. A

soul mate can be anyone, not only a partner but a close

friend, family member or even a beloved pet. Most

times it works out that soul mates will be a partner.

What people don’t understand is that a soul mate may

not be a relationship that works out in this lifetime. I

know from experience that my soul mate has travelled

through many lifetimes with me and has caused me

personal pain in some lives and total love in others.

But I have understood that the reason she does this is

because I have decided with the blueprint that I have

to learn how to love and loose and also learn how to get

myself up off the fl oor, brush myself off and start all

over again. So, it’s not going to necessarily mean that

we meet our soul mate and spend the rest of our life in

sheer bliss. You may have already met your mate but

it didn’t workout. So please don’t hold on for someone

who seems perfect in every way. Just let life happen

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and if we are to meet that special person then just let

time take its course. Our spirit guides will point us in

the right direction at the time.

What happens to bad people?

THEY GO TO the same place. We take our thoughts,

feelings and personality with us. So if we were a nasty

piece of work in this life we have a lot further to go

and a lot more to learn. Th

ere is a kind of judgment.

Th

e spirit is aware that it’s had hurt many people in

its lifetime and that its does have a lot to answer for.

A spirit has to be given a chance to explain itself and

make amends. Th

ey also have one of two options open

to them. Th

ey can come back straight away to repay

their Karmic debt. Or they may become a sort of guide

to help people who have caused pain here realise their

errors.

Can you switch your ability on and off ?

IT’S SOMETHING THAT you have to learn over the

years. It’s a strange experience when a spirit comes

through. It starts off when it’s time to get to work.

If you are doing a reading for someone either at a

house or in front of an audience, you fi rst need to

relax sometime during the day. As I have said in other

chapters. Th

is can be done however it works for you.

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I normally get into my car and take the dog for a walk

to the woods. While in my car I like to listen to some

CDs I have made up. Which have songs from my

favourite bands REM and Sigur Ros. When it’s closer

to the time that I have to work, I like to have a few

minutes to myself where I speak to my brother and

guides in spirit and ask that I don’t let them down and

also that I can get a message to people that really need

it in the audience. After the evening is over I then take

a bit of time to talk to people and get their reaction

both negative and positive. Th

en I wind down and

relax by either driving home with some comedy Cds

or get home, thank spirit and then watch some TV to

take my mind off what has happened and shut down.

It’s diff erent for all of us but this works for me.

What does it feel like when you get a spirit through?

IT FEELS LIKE you are being wrapped up in cotton

wool. After a while you start to lose your breath and

sometimes it feels like when you are just about to cry

over a sad movie you have to try and stop yourself and

try to catch your breath. Th

en afterwards you feel like

that old saying that someone has walked over your

grave. You feel sort of light headed and then nothing.

Th

e communication stops and you know its time to

get to the next one. It’s quite a wonderful feeling.

But it is diff erent for everyone. Th

is is just how I feel

when I get a strong connection through. You may feel

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diff erent sensations. But there is no denying the fact

that it’s amazing.

Is it great to be a medium?

IT’S THE MOST amazing thing in the world but it

also sucks sometimes. When you get a connection

through for someone and they go away feeling lighter

and understanding a little more of what has happened

to a loved one, it’s an amazing feeling for both of you.

It can sometimes be a bit of an ego trip. But don’t let

your ego take over as spirit have this amazing way of

shutting down if your heads getting too big and then

they make you feel like a twat a few times to bring you

back down to earth. Other times it’s a very lonely life.

Most people just want the message. Th

ey don’t care if

it’s you or a monkey in a top hat giving the message

over. At fi rst you are open all the time. You want to

read for anyone that bumps into you in the street or

anyone in the pub. Th

at goes on for a while. But it’s

not a good idea to be open all the time. Otherwise you

might as well stay at work 24/7. You need your own

space and relax time. And once you realise this, spirit

then gives you a break from connecting and you start

to enjoy being you and not a Medium.

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Do you believe in GOD?

YES. I COULDN’T do this work without a belief in

god. I don’t believe that God is a man in the Monty

Python sense. You know giant hands and a big

booming voice from heaven. But I believe in an energy

force that holds everything together, energy of love. I

don’t think that God is there to be worshipped and

to spend your life worried about carrying favour with

the almighty and stuff . I think we are here to learn to

be more god-like. Like I have said a hundred times,

you believe in what you want to believe. But there are

some people who go out of their way to worry you

about God. I pray, but to the energy of God. I ask

for help for people all over. I’m not going to sit there

worrying about whether I should be asking god for

forgiveness. I don’t believe that it’s like that. I think we

all should know that what we do sometimes is wrong.

Spirit kicks your arse anyway when you do something

to someone that you shouldn’t.

What if I go to see a medium and get nothing through?

THIS HAPPENS MORE times than you will get

something. Spirit will come to you when they are

ready to make the connection and with which medium

they want to use. If you got to see a medium as part

of a group, think of it like a wedding. Th

e wedding is

for two people and the couple in question have their

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names on all the invitations. It’s also their choice

where they hold the wedding. It’s their day. But you

are all invited to share their day and you go away from

that with a feeing like either you are remembering

your own wedding. Or what your wedding would feel

like. Plus you get a piece of cake to take with you too.

So everyone gets a connection when you go to see a

medium. Not just the ones that the medium talks

too.

What is a Ghost?

A GHOST AND a spirit are two totally separate things.

A ghost is an imprint on time and is a dead energy.

Whereas a spirit is still alive, just living in a diff erent

way. A ghost is an energy of something that happened

in the past. When people see or feel ghosts what they

are seeing and feeling is a negative energy force that

due to certain conditions within an area manifests

itself into an almost video re run. What you are seeing

or feeling usually, is something that happened in the

past. Th

e spirits of these people have long gone to

heaven or been re incarnated. When someone dies

tragically their imprint is left behind in that area. If

there has been multiple passing due to an accident or

major event, the energy that those people felt stays

within the walls of the building or the area that they

passed in. I have heard many ghost stories that have

told of grey ladies and shrieking women or moaning

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men walking past. Some have been seen to walk on a

diff erent level than the fl oor that exists at that time

I heard a story once about a school in Oxford. My

friend Tony went there. Th

ere was a story about a boy

that had committed suicide through bullying around

50 years ago. He had thrown himself off the top fl ight

of stairs and had hit one of the banisters on the way

down. Once a year, on the anniversary of his passing,

there would be a dent in the new replaced banisters for

a few minutes. It would also appear to be cracked with

wood splinters. But then it would go back to being an

untouched banister again.

I have been asked lots of times to come to people’s

houses and tell them whether they are haunted and

who they are haunted by. Well, I have been able to pick

up on the energies in these houses. But I am medium

that is able to connect with living spirits and mostly

unable to connect with dead energy. Although I do

pick up on negative energy because I am sensitive, as

a medium, to most forms of energy.

Why can’t I connect with spirits but can tell the

future accurately?

I THINK IT’S because we are all diff erent in our

abilities and what we have been chosen to do with

this gift. As I have said in this book I started out

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doing Tarot card readings for friends. I was pretty

accurate with them but as time went on I found myself

being interrupted more by spirit. So I was told by

upstairs that I should be connecting people instead.

I’m not saying anything’s wrong with doing cards

and telling people what they can expect. It’s all from

spirit anyway; cards are just a focal point. Th

at’s why

some people read playing cards or tea leaves. It’s not

about what the cards are telling them. It’s about what

spirit are saying through whatever medium that’s been

chosen. Some people won’t go and see a medium. Th

ey

don’t want to fi nd out about who has passed over.

Th

ey want to know what’s going to happen to them

in the future. I think if you’re meant to help people

out that way then that is what you have been given

this ability to do. Some tarot readers are amazing. We

have all been given diff erent ways of helping people.

You could end up being a psychic healer using Reiki

healing or you could do regression therapy or even

counselling. Th

ey are all part of being in contact with

spirit. Th

e main thing about all these abilities is that

you’re helping people. So if you fi nd your wondering

why you can’t do amazing card readings or you may

not be able to heal people. It’s because you may have

to try all these things out until spirit guides help you

fi nd what you are supposed to do. It doesn’t make you

crap because you can tell the future and not heal. Or

you can connect people and not tell the future. It’s

from spirit.

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What is Karma?

KARMA IS THE universal debt system. Not like these

commercials that off er to consolidate loans etc into

one easily aff ordable payment. Everyone has heard

the saying “You reap what you sow” Well, you have to

go through many lifetimes to get your spirit cleansed

and pure and to become more God-like. We all make

mistakes during our lifetimes. We are supposed to

learn from them, but sometimes free will rakes over.

It’s a natural thing but our free will can be used to

help or hinder others. As we travel through each

lifetime on our journey we have to payback whatever

bad Karma our free will has accumulated over the

time we are here. If you were mean in one lifetime to

a particular person then you may have to experience

this happening to yourself in another lifetime. In

some lifetimes if we were really good people and did

nothing but help others. We will get that back. Karma

can also be good as well as bad. We repay our debts.

Th

e otherside of this coin is that we can pay back

Karma from this lifetime in this lifetime. We don’t

have to pass over and be reborn. We can be reborn

every second of everyday. We just have to want it and

do something about it ourselves. We have all heard

people say that so and so has turned over a new leaf.

Maybe they were criminals or drug dealers etc. Th

ey

spent time in prison and became a new person. Well,

it’s exactly the same for everyone. Th

e other saying is

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“I must have done something pretty bad in a previous

life to deserve what I have to put up with now” Th

at’s

right you probably did. But it’s up to you to sort it

out.

I’m not a medium, how do I know spirits are around?

THERE ARE SOME ways that spirit will show

themselves to you. Th

ese are often around the house.

As spirit is energy and not physical anymore, they

are able to infl uence certain things around the house.

Sometimes they will turn the TV on and off . Or

maybe change the channel on your remote control or

start up the stereo. Th

ey may also fl icker the lights or

turn the kettle on etc. Th

ey are able to do this easily as

they are energy and the appliances I have talked about

use electricity. If something like this occurs in the

house. Th

en ask who it is and ask them to repeat the

process. Remember it will always be the fi rst person

that you think of. Don’t analyze the situation, just go

with it. I have also found that when spirits appear in

the house they may well move something. Th

is maybe

your keys or a letter or something personal like your

watch. It’s amazing as you know you left it in a certain

place. As you hunt around the house, you go back to

the place you think you left it originally and there it is!

Still there! It’s just that spirit have moved it to get your

attention. I suggest that before you try to fi nd it, ask

for it back. You may feel silly talking to thin air. But

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ask the spirits for your item back. By acknowledging

the spirit has hidden the item they should return it

to you.

An example of this was my mother came back

from America just before Christmas. She had bought

a hefty Christmas tree ornament. It was shaped like a

fi replace. You had to put a fairy light in it and it looked

like a fi re in the grate. I liked it but my mum LOVED

it. She is always getting decorations and lights from

the USA. She insists they are bigger and better. I’m

not much of a Christmas fan so I just thought I would

humour her. One morning she called me on the phone.

She was a little distraught. She told me her decoration

had gone missing from her tree. I then told her I

would come over for a cuppa and we will see if we can

fi nd it. She looked everywhere under the tree and in

the branches. I said she was wasting her time looking

under the tree as it was huge and you couldn’t miss it.

I then suggested that we ask spirit for it back. I asked

who may have it and my uncle Roger who had passed

the Christmas before came into my head. It was his

way of showing himself to my mum. She had also been

very upset around the anniversary of his passing. I

then told my mum to acknowledge him and ask for it

back. We went into the kitchen for a cuppa. When we

entered the room ten minutes later, it was there where

it had been all along. - On the Christmas tree.

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My mum has since had lots of things go missing

and things moved around the house. It doesn’t scare

her anymore. She knows its spirits way of getting

through. She sometimes sits and demands her stuff

back. It’s quite funny to hear her telling upstairs off

for hiding her stuff . But I try not to embarrass her

when I hear her.

Can people be possessed by bad spirits?

NO. YOU HAVE seen movies like Th

e Entity or

Poltergeist Two, where the main characters have been

taken over by so called evil spirits. Th

ey have not been

taken over at all by evil spirits. Evil spirits don’t exist.

We have all been to heaven so many times through

millennia that when we get to there we are cleansed.

We have learned through our life review what we

did in this lifetime. Th

en we are taken off to learn

and for some to be healed from our ways in our last

incarnation. Obviously there are lots of nasty people

in this world. We do need some negative to balance

out the positive. If everyone on this existence were

positive, loving, god like souls it would be an amazing

place to live. But we wouldn’t learn anything. So we

may as well have stayed in heaven.

I believe that possession is good vs. bad energy

within the environment. Some people, like mediums,

are over sensitive to positive and negative energy. If

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you are in a concert and having a great time, you feel

everyone else’s positive energy and that helps you to

have a good time and makes you feel on a real high. If

you were to go to a funeral, you feel really sad, even if

you didn’t really know the person. You are picking up

on everyone else’s negative energy.

As a medium, your sensitivity is heightened. You

need a heightened sensitivity to do this work as you

are connecting with energy. You’re not talking to a

person; you are talking to energy, using your spirit

which is pure energy to reach their spirit, which is

pure energy. Possession is tonnes of negative energy

within an environment which is felt one hundred fold,

by an over sensitive person.

If I go to a certain area in my hometown which

has such a high amount of poverty, drug and alcohol

abuse and broken families, I feel really bad. It makes

me feel so repressed and I get a real down feeling for

the time I’m there. If you live in an environment where

say, a person was murdered or physically or mentally

abused, then the energy tends to stay there and not

move on. It will stay even stronger if there is negativity

with the current residents. If one of those people is

hypersensitive to it, then they may be taken over by

the negativity. If the new owners of the house have

loads of positive energy, this may slightly counteract

the negative. Although it’s kind of like putting

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chocolate chips onto a cowpat. Hence, some people

seem possessed. But they are just over sensitive to a

negative energy area.

As you become more aware of your ability, you will

need to ask your spirit guides to put protection into

place. Th

ey will normally have done this already. But

it’s not like some people say, to protect you from evil

spirits. Like I said, they do not exist. It’s to protect

your over sensitive energy from receiving negativity. I

have my bouncers as I like to call them. Two doormen

who watch out for me. Your names not down so you

aint coming in. Th

ey stop the negativity from getting

to me while I work. Negativity from the environment,

it’s hard sometimes when getting a connection, not

to blub your eyes out, but you are protected from it.

You need to almost grow a thick skin. But one that

doesn’t make you seem like you don’t care, it’s just the

opposite. You do care, a lot, about getting the message

across. We do this for love and because we can. But, if

it means you go around getting stung by negativity all

the time, it would mess with your head too much.

Does a psychic ability come from family?

WE ARE ALL psychic so I’m not sure that family genes

have anything to do with it. I do however think that

having psychics in the family helps. Mainly because

if being psychic has been accepted within a family,

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then your own abilities will be accepted more and

also may be encouraged to grow. It’s the same with

re-incarnation. Many western beliefs don’t cater for re-

incarnation. So if a child talks about a previous life he

or she is told off for talking rubbish. Yet many beliefs

in Asia encourage families to listen out for the children

telling about past lives. So I believe that if you suspect

any child of being psychic then please encourage them

to tell you how they feel. If you encourage their ability

then they won’t shy away from it in the future.

I heard not so long ago about my dads father

Th

omas. I had no idea that he was psychic until a couple

of years ago. We were all sitting in Th

e Winchester

Arms in Portsmouth having a few drinks. My father

had come from Wales for a couple of days. My uncle

mark was there and my friend Mark. We all had a

great laugh together going over embarrassing stories

about what Mark and I used to get up to as teenagers

together.

Towards the end of the evening the conversation

got round to what I do. My Uncle Mark said that he

was very sceptical on the subject. In his words it was a

load of old tosh!! To my surprise, my dad pointed out

that I got the ability from his father.

I couldn’t believe it.

As the story goes he used to do tea leaf readings

and palmistry in the nineteen fi fties. He would do it

just before a shift for workers at a dairy in Whitland,

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Carmarthenshire, where he worked. He was very good

at what he did. My dad said his predictions always

came true.

I can assume this to be true.

It reminded me of something that happened

about 10 years before. My fi rst wife was in St Mary’s

Hospital, Portsmouth having our fi rst child. It was a

particularly bad birth. Th

e doctors said that she might

not make it as she was losing oxygen. Th

ey had to

deliver via Von tous, a big plug that sits on the head of

the baby and sucks on. Th

en with a chain at the other

end they then pull like mad to get the baby out. It was

touch and go for a while but she was born ok and in

good health. Th

at night I was sitting in the hospital,

dozing off with my wife and daughter, when I noticed

a shadow walk past the curtain. I thought it might

be a doctor or nurse doing a round, when suddenly a

short little man with glasses, a hat and a brown suit

poked his head round the curtain. I said hello, and

asked what he wanted. He said not to be alarmed

but he was just checking in on the baby. I showed

him my daughter. My wife was asleep so we talked in

whispers. He said that she was very beautiful and she

would grow to be an amazing child. I thanked him

and he left. I thought I recognized him, but couldn’t

place his face. Afterwards I asked the nurse whether

she knew the man who came around late that evening.

She said that visiting hours were over then and there

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were no other fathers on the ward. I didn’t know what

to think but I was sure that they had made a mistake.

Who could he have been? It kind of freaked me out

to think that these people were walking the maternity

wards at night when they weren’t allowed and I had

showed him my new daughter. But I still didn’t see

any malice in him. I thought of him as a kind old man

that liked to see the new born. I still felt though that

I knew him.

While we were visiting my father in Wales I asked

him to show me a photograph of his father. I had never

seen him before as he had passed before I was born.

And it came as a shock when it turned out to be the

same man who turned up at the bedside that night in

hospital.

ABOUT THIS SECTION:

None of us will ever totally understand what

happens until we pass away ourselves. I think we

suddenly get a greater understanding of how life works

and why there are some amazing people that come into

our lives and some really nasty ones too. And also why

some of the most wonderful things and some horrifi c

things happen to us. I think we are all taught all the

answers when we get to the other side. I have spirit to

thank for the answers in this chapter. Th

ey have given

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me an insight into what goes on. But I have only just

broken the surface. One day I will understand what

happens fully. But in the meantime I hope that the

questions and answers section of this book has helped

you to get a bit more of an understanding of how this

all comes about. Why we are here and for what reason

we have to go through this life.

I can give you the answers because…….

I AM A MEDIUM

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Chapter Th

irty

From A to B

AT THE TIME of writing this book I am still arranging

new venues to do my mediumship demonstrations,

doing readings at home. Also readings on the telephone

to people who can’t get to see me personally. I am also

still giving spiritual guidance and help via e-mail.

My main hope for the future is that this book will

reach a great many people.

Th

roughout this whole arduous, interesting,

painful and sometimes laughable process of getting

to where I am today, I have strived to keep all of this

“real” as they say.

I’m not a well known medium. I don’t have a

television show of my own or fi ll massive three

thousand seat theatres when I come to town. But I

know that I am helping lots of people through the

work I have done and my work in the future.

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

Some mediums do become very well known

through their work, others don’t ever wish to be well

known and soldier on quietly. Th

ere are thousands

that work regular jobs and tour the church circuit

week in, week out. I don’t suppose I will ever be fi lling

Wembley Stadium, not that I would want to. I have

come to a point where I feel that it doesn’t matter how

many people come and see me, as long as I can help at

least one person, to deal with a loss in their own life.

I believe that the others still go away with the sense

of connection to their friends and family that have

crossed over. I am very happy with the way I have

fi nally taken on board the full extent to which my

ability heals.

We, as humans, are very complex. Th

e body is just

a vehicle for carrying the soul - to learn lessons here on

this tiny speck of a planet, lost in the infi nite whirls of

space. When the body dies, our eternal spirit lives on in

a very diff erent way. Everyone has the ability to connect

as we are all spirit. Th

ere are still those who say that

Psychic Medium’s are modern day charlatans, preying

on people’s weaknesses and yearnings. I haven’t made

much money out of this. I am not and never will be a

rich man, fi nancially. But I feel very rich spiritually. I

know that I have helped people through just being me.

No frills, no expectations. Just an average Joe that has

maybe an above average ability. I love my job and so

you may take it or leave it. If it works for you then “go

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Jus t in P e a rce

for it.” Never be told who or what you are and always

take advice from everyone and use the bits that are

helpful to you and nothing more.

Everyone is special, regardless of your religion,

colour or sexual orientation. If you are a nice person

and have lots of friends, then you will go a long way

in this lifetime. Damn anyone that puts you down or

tries to stop you living your dream. My dream is to

make that connection for thousands of people. I admit

that it gives me a lot of satisfaction when I get told that

I was “spot on”. It really helps and strengthens my own

beliefs in my ability. Th

is isn’t some mind reading trick

as some people would have you believe. I’m not that

clever for a start!

We all have the same connection. Mediums are

not gods, they are not something special. It’s not a

gift exclusive to certain people. It’s an ability that we

all share. We are one of the same. We are all human

spirit. People come up to me and thank me for the

connection and often say wow you are so amazing at

what you do. And I explain to them that they need to

thank the spirit world, not me. I am just a small part

in this amazing process.

I was chosen to do this with my life. At fi rst not

out of choice. I have certainly been through some ups

and downs to get here. But as the years go by, I am

enjoying it more and more. It’s an amazing feeling

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Jus t Me, Insigh t s From a R eluc ta n t Medium

every time I connect for someone and they go away

knowing they have been reached by loved ones and

received messages from the other side for whatever

purpose. Th

is job is the most wonderful job in the

world. I feel lucky and blessed that spirit is coming

through to me to talk to these people.

Th

anks for fi nding this book. I really appreciate

all of you. With this work I hope to have touched a

few hearts and made a few peoples lives a little easier

to live. I believe I have done what I have set out to do.

Th

at is to have a greater knowledge of the spirit world

and my own spirituality as I hope you have through

this work.

Be happy in this lifetime and don’t take any rubbish

from anyone. Most of all, keep an open mind. We are

all capable of doing this. We are all born of the same

thing, spirit. Give a little of yourself everyday and you

will get back so much more.

I AM JUST ME.

I AM A MEDIUM.

227

I WOULD LIKE to thank the people listed here

individually and collectively for all their support.

Mark Evans. Mum and joe, Michelle and Brent,

DAD and WSM. My Daughters... Sue. Steve Dartnell.

Nadine, Susie, Dawn, Lisa. Uncle Mark. Auntie Liz,

Ruth and Becky, Bob Pitman, Phil Carpenter, Lindsay

Lou. Chris Childs. Sonya, Juliette, Colin, Kelly.

Vixter. Karen and the twins. Justin Mason. Carol

and Lynn. Claire and Jess, Mark. Richie Williams.

Steve and Michelle. All my friends out there on the

Taxi Ranks of Portsmouth... Marcie. Tina, Amy Jo.

Dana, Kieran and Ruth. Gitch, Phil, Helena, Odd

Job, John, Darren, Shaun Th

eresa ,Julia. My Family

and friends

I would like to thank all those people that allowed

me to use their experiences in this book. Also to people

I haven’t named here. You are special to me and thanks

for everything we have been through.

And also thanks to all my friends and people who

have come to see me and I have met along the way.

You’re all special to me in your own unique way. Th

anks

so much for trusting me to make the connections I

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Jus t in P e a rce

have. You know who you all are. I couldn’t have done

it without you.

Last but not least a special thank you to spirit.

Upstairs has helped me through my life and God

willing through the rest of it. I can honestly say that I

trust in you fully and I want to thank you for waiting

and trusting in me.

Love to you all.

If you have any comments or questions on this

book and your own spiritual pathway then please e-

mail me direct.

spiritualgateways@hotmail.com

I answer all e-mails personally.

I hope to hear from you all soon.

230

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Th

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Th

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Th

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Th